In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another All T No Shade episode. As the calendar shifts into June, LGBTQ+ Pride rears its fabulous head once again. With this in mind, the guys reflect on what that means this year as legislation reaches new heights of removing all the progress that has been made in recent years. From drag & book bans to transfolk in sports & bathrooms, the cubs get frank and discuss the changing landscape of the community.
Show Topic
ATNS: LGBTQIA+ Pride in 2023
At midnight June 1st, internet and social media codes around the world swapped basic images for ones with suddenly colorful versions of their corporate logos. The ‘gays’ awoke in the morning to choose wrath or being a demon. Which means it must be that season once again, PRIDE is here and it’s 2023. The landscape has changed vastly. Drag entertainment is at the height of professional productions while states have been legislating all over the place to reverse gains in equity over recent years.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined by BuilTABear, another trans listener who, after hearing COL514, shared his feedback and brought some perspective that may not have been touched on at that time 4 years ago. The cubs revisit the topic of trans identity and the bear community while also getting to learn more about BuilTABear’s upcoming projects regarding the older trans community.
Show Topic
Trans Bear Listener 2
In the summer of 2019, we did an interview with listener Trans Bear, or T-bear, to discuss previous episodes where we here and there touched on transness in the broader bear community. In 15 years of the podcast, our understanding of being trans has evolved. True to our nature, we’re excited to come back to this topic with another listener that reached out to us with feedback on episode COL514 from almost 4 years ago amongst others. Thank you BuilTABear for joining us!
What was discovering you’re Trans like?
What has your experience been so far with self-image, coming out to family, friends, co-workers?
How has the Bear community responded to you in general/specifically?
The NEW podcast series OG Transmen: Life After Transition
New Facebook business page: BUILTABEAR PRODUCTIONS
Designed to be an information / networking hub for trans guys
There will be links to relevant articles, any trans producer podcasts, resource page links, trans guy product reviews, trans guy / LGBTQ merchandise, and whatever else comes up…
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss the potential red, yellow and green flags in relationship and kink dynamics. While a potentially funny meme, these flags are no laughing matter. Listen in as the cubs unfurl some details and give some insight into looking out for the signals of a healthy (and unhealthy) relationship.
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Red Flags, Green Flags
What are Relationship Flags?
Relationship flags are indicators of healthy, unhealthy, and dangerous behaviors or feelings within relationships.
They can be red, yellow, or green.
Red Flags
Controlling behaviors
Violence
Emotional and verbal abuse
Intentional sabotage or hurting of feelings
Walking on eggshells
Friends and family (support) are not trusting of your partner
Using things against you that were told in confidence
Usually can improve for short periods of time but abuse is usually cyclical
Yellow Flags
All or nothing communication
Pushes boundaries
Codependency or enmeshment
Difficulty with finding things in common
Lack of similarities with goals and values
These can be improved upon in meaningful ways
Green Flags
Healthy communication
Respecting boundaries
Interdependence
Supportive of goals and values
Knowing love languages
Awareness that no relationship is perfect
Let’s Get Kinky
Red Flags in Kink
Expect you to immediately obey them and call them an honorific or title before agreed upon/Call you a title one honorific immediately before agreed upon
Don’t ask you about your hard or soft limits
Tell you what “real” or “true” submissive or a dominant does
Separate you from friends and family or kinky friends
Tell you that they have no limits and expect you to have no limits as well
Expect you, as the Dominant, to take full responsibility for their health and wellbeing, both physically and emotionally
Dismiss opinions
Dictate how your dynamic will go
Green Flags in Kink
Want to get to know you on a deeper level, and have an interest in more than just your kinks and sexual preferences
They won’t do anything without your expressed consent, and will respect your stated boundaries and limits, as well as sharing their own
They’re interested in hearing about your journey in kink, as well as what turns you on and off, along with your opinions on how you’d like your dynamic to grow
They respect your existing friendships and relationships, even if they may not be directly introduced to the other important people in your life
They emphasize the importance of safety, consent, negotiation, and safe words in kinky dynamics
They take responsibility for their actions, understanding that you are not the cure for their problems
If you feel you are in a dangerous relationship situation. Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys return to a previous topic. It’s been almost five years since they produced episodes on Consent and Respect. So here in 2022, a number of years later, it’s time to revisit this important conversation. Since the COVID-19 pandemic, it seems that people are living their most bold lives when it comes to opinions and actions. The US political landscape is looking divisive between the majority conservative and progressive parties. How much do the cubs think the practice of recognizing and giving consent plays a factor outside of kink and sexual activities? Have any of their thoughts changed in the years since the previous debate?
Show Topic
Consent in 2022
Con·sent /kənˈsent/
Noun
noun: consent; plural noun: consents
permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.
Verb
verb: consent; 3rd person present: consents; past tense: consented; past participle: consented; gerund or present participle: consenting
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, Let’s Talk About Sex! The guys are joined by resident Sex Therapist Edward Angelini-Cooke to discuss “sides”. You know of tops, bottoms, and versatiles; but do you know about sides? Listen in as the cubs define this role in the MSM community and what it means in the sexual spectrum.
Show Topic
Sides
Definition?
Joe Kort developed the term in 2013 after not engaging in anal intercourse and feeling frustrated answering the “top or bottom” question. “Can I be a side?”
A side is typically a man who has sex with another man (MSM) who does not engage in anal intercourse or penetration as it is not part of their erotic orientation. Erotic orientation reflects your sexual fantasies, desires, and sexual behaviors.
Self-labels (labels used to describe anal sex behaviors….or does it):
Top
Bottom
Versatile
What if you don’t fit into any of those groups? shame…guilt….FOMO…et al.