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Podcasts

COL677: WGO: December 2022

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In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of December. For some it’s the same old, same old; for others, it’s a damn trainwreck. Listen in as the guys gift you with their holiday goings-on for the last month of 2022.

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Same Ole, Same Ole
  • Damon: WTF December!
  • Gary: That Was Quick [He Said]

Feedback 

Twitter Followers: 

  • @liylax
  • @SharonDix15
  • @Alex98206411
  • @eworrell323
  • @Derrick75965129
  • @Stdonceup1
  • @Liamfalksxx

YouTube Subscribers:

  • @Carmanking2780

Facebook Follows & Likes:

  • Michael Doherty
  • Roma Roma
  • Jarrett Bliz
  • Luis Diaz
  • Michael Prestia
  • Ken Bradly
  • Vidal Madera
  • Justy Binder
  • Manu
  • Qudrat Qudrat
  • Amado Hamut Bazan
  • Pascal Pierre Vieville
  • แหลม สิงห์ [Thai: Laem Sing]
  • Jesse DeLeon
  • Oscar Nolasco
  • Sun Leonard
  • Brian David
  • TJ Fred Sill
  • Jaime Cruz Rodriguez
  • Fabio Raggio
  • Brandon Craig
  • Ricky Rhein

Patreon Updates

  • So about that oops… aka the first COL677 not released.
  • BIG BEAR CUB HUGS to our Patrons: 
    • Cubsters: Charles W., Daniel C., and Michael K.
    • Ubehrs: Dave T., Li, Michael Q, and Tim S.
    • plus our Buddies: Lloyd G., Michael V., and Oan R.!

Recent Shows

  • COL674: WGO: November 2022
  • COL675: Our Fave Things ‘22
  • COL676: Where do we go next? [Twitter issues]

Tweet Tweet:

https://twitter.com/Rookkubb/status/1609627423469096961?s=20&t=XsdQ3HJIIQdqtwt44_SksA

https://twitter.com/CHIBear20/status/1606983147656282114

https://twitter.com/AlphaLthrBear/status/1604929429104369683

https://twitter.com/SkaiCBear/status/1609026916886913024

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COL649: LoR: Red Flags, Green Flags

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In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss the potential red, yellow and green flags in relationship and kink dynamics. While a potentially funny meme, these flags are no laughing matter. Listen in as the cubs unfurl some details and give some insight into looking out for the signals of a healthy (and unhealthy) relationship.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Red Flags, Green Flags

What are Relationship Flags?

  • Relationship flags are indicators of healthy, unhealthy, and dangerous behaviors or feelings within relationships.  
  • They can be red, yellow, or green.  

Red Flags 

  • Controlling behaviors 
  • Violence 
  • Emotional and verbal abuse 
  • Intentional sabotage or hurting of feelings
  • Walking on eggshells 
  • Friends and family (support) are not trusting of your partner
  • Using things against you that were told in confidence
  • Usually can improve for short periods of time but abuse is usually cyclical 

 Yellow Flags 

  • All or nothing communication 
  • Pushes boundaries 
  • Codependency or enmeshment 
  • Difficulty with finding things in common 
  • Lack of similarities with goals and values 
  • These can be improved upon in meaningful ways 

Green Flags 

  • Healthy communication 
  • Respecting boundaries 
  • Interdependence 
  • Supportive of goals and values 
  • Knowing love languages
  • Awareness that no relationship is perfect 

Let’s Get Kinky 

Red Flags in Kink 

  • Expect you to immediately obey them and call them an honorific or title before agreed upon/Call you a title one honorific immediately before agreed upon
  • Don’t ask you about your hard or soft limits
  • Tell you what “real” or “true” submissive or a dominant does 
  • Separate you from friends and family or kinky friends 
  • Tell you that they have no limits and expect you to have no limits as well
  • Expect you, as the Dominant, to take full responsibility for their health and wellbeing, both physically and emotionally
  • Dismiss opinions 
  • Dictate how your dynamic will go 

Green Flags in Kink 

  • Want to get to know you on a deeper level, and have an interest in more than just your kinks and sexual preferences
  • They won’t do anything without your expressed consent, and will respect your stated boundaries and limits, as well as sharing their own
  • They’re interested in hearing about your journey in kink, as well as what turns you on and off, along with your opinions on how you’d like your dynamic to grow
  • They respect your existing friendships and relationships, even if they may not be directly introduced to the other important people in your life
  • They emphasize the importance of safety, consent, negotiation, and safe words in kinky dynamics
  • They take responsibility for their actions, understanding that you are not the cure for their problems

If you feel you are in a dangerous relationship situation.  Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233

Resources 

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COL632: LoR: Goals & Accountability

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In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. In this episode, the guys come together in the new year to discuss goals and accountability. As many begin each year making new year’s resolutions that they often never keep,  listen in as Ed and the cubs break down the reasons why this may be a regular occurrence. From creating your goal roadmap to making yourself accountable for the roads you take, listen in as the guys give yet another perspective on the wandering journey of relationship building.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Goals & Accountability

New Years resolutions

The Hobbit and LOTR “The Road Goes Ever On”

The Road goes ever on and on,

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

  • Gotta know what “The Road” or our values are.  

Values List 

Four Domains 

  • Work/Education 
  • Relationships
  • Leisure 
  • Personal Health and Wellness 

Translating Values into Goals – “Be a mapmaker”

  • Chose three guiding values 
  • SMART goals (Specific, Meaningful, Adaptive, Realistic, Timely)
  • Immediate (24 hours), Short Term, Medium-Term goals, Long-Term goals
  • Living Goals vs Dead Person Goals
  • Make sure you are heading in the right direction.  Ex. downhill skiing
  • Expected barriers 

Accountability 

  • We are ultimately responsible for our actions 
  • We get to be accountable to the goals we set for ourselves and the map that we make.
  • Feelings, situations, emotions, urges, memories are going to happen.  Make sure you have the needed resources.
  • Be mindful of avoidance and unhelpful sticky thought patterns
  • Be willing to address unhelpful patterns
  • Remember: you can always change your course, but at what and whose expense?  Honor your values and your commitments 
  • Let someone know your goals and work towards shared accountability.
  • Feeling guilty?  Good. You have values. 
  • Remember, not all those who wander are lost. Keep going.  
  • Progress is not always a straight line.  

 

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COL624: LoR: Unfriending

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In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss the topic of unfriending. Whether it be friends, family or “framily”, there are situations which may require a need to remove people from your lives. Listen in as the cubs share some advice on when, how and who should be unfriended.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Unfriending

  • Top 8
  • Close Friends
  • Feed
  • Limited Feed
  • Unfollow 
  • Block

Parents – MyCounselor article – Healthy Relationships with Adult Children 

  • This comes from a Christian counseling website  
  • Look at this like a checklist to see if you have them 
  • Setting expectations of how you are to be treated is HUGE.  
  • Check out the boundaries podcast 
  • Think of boundaries like the rules of D&D

Friends – Psychology Today: 13 Essential Traits of Good Friends 

This is a great article on using yourself as a reference point to assess your friendships with others. (If we want honesty from others we have to make sure we are honest.)

  • Advice my Mom gave me growing up that I didn’t always take, “stick with the winners.”  I have adapted it to, “Stay close to the ones who know where they are headed.” I don’t like the winners/losers dichotomy, but it has the same idea. 
  • Like D&D, be mindful about who you party with. 

Friends and Family – Personal Excellence article – Unsupportive People 

  • Don’t go to the hardware store for bread. 
  • Find out where the hardware store is.
  • If I’m out of life, unless I have someone on my party who has regeneration….I need to get it from someone else.
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Flashback, Podcasts

COLFB356: It’s a Shit Show

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Hello, Ladies, Gentlemen and Gender Non-Conformists. It’s Jeff and welcome to another Flashback episode this week! We’re off this week. However, I present to you a COL Flashback to episode 356 from March 13th, 2016 – just over five years ago. This show is in our old format so you’ll recognize the current What’s Going On vibe followed by a ‘Shit Show of Shittery [thank you Urban Dictionary]. Grab your favorite beverage and settle in for a listen to a special Flashback show to COL Episode 356!

enhanced-27055-1407874261-1In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s a Shit Show of Shittery (thank you Urban Dictionary). The best laid plans got derailed by life, so the cubs offer this show on the fly, talking about recent titleholder friends, drunken shenanigans, and playing games. It’s a short shit show of shittery for shit’s sake.

Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Can’t wait to get on the floor and “work complete”
  • Damon: Walking Around All Day & Contemporary Art
  • Gary: Pour into blender, hit mix

Did I Do That?

  • Gary: I did it again

Feedback:

FB Group Comment:

  • Chester [aka Shutter]: Um… Gary… Can I have a shirt?

Google Plus:

  • Mike Reaser

YouTube Subscribers:

  • Bigtheddy bear
  • Yuri umi

Twitter:

  • Charles Stoner: It’s time for @cubsoutloud podcast 354!

Urbandictionary with Gary

  • Shit Show of Shittery: When everything that will go wrong does go wrong. An event of grand scale of utter shit. When all your shit of your life is just non-stop, it’s a shit show of shittery.

My life is a complete shit show of shittery !!!
What’s with all this shit show of shittery happenin’ here ?
My life sucks. It has plenty of shit shittery goin’ on.

Weekly Topic

Random stuff as we didn’t have anything prepared

Poll:

Cooldown Topics

I’ll Tumbl For You:

Links:

 

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