Tag Archives: inclusivity

COL606: ATNS: LGBTQIA+ Pride 2021 – Part 2: Kink

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another All T, No Shade show. This time around, the topic is Pride and because the cubs have a lot to say about it, this will be a two-parter. In this second part, the cubs break down their views on the ongoing debate of kink at Pride and its inclusion in LGTBQIA+ spaces. From consent to caution, listen in as the guys paddle their way through this hard stop conversation.

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ATNS: LGBTQIA+ Pride 2021 – Part 2: Kink

This year for our annual Pride discussion, we have a two-parter – previously we discussed Corporations. Now that we’ve told big business to fuck off with their pandering, let’s piss off even more people with our thoughts on kink being a part of Pride for the LGBTQIA community. 

From COL previous guest Perrin on social media:

Perrin 

So here’s the thing… cause it apparently needs to be said. Wearing a leash in public harms absolutely no one. It violates no consent.

This discourse reeks of “think of the children” and “no kink at Pride” and I’m not here for this sanitization.

For years these types of excuses were used to actively harm homosexuals, transfolk, and anyone else who didn’t fit the public’s perception of normal. Still to this day, we see people crying foul when anyone dares deviate from that norm.

From Forged & Folded A Thousand Times in Rainbow Flame [aka @vaspider] on Twitter

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COL580: LTAS: Sides

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, Let’s Talk About Sex!  The guys are joined by resident Sex Therapist Edward Angelini-Cooke to discuss “sides”. You know of tops, bottoms, and versatiles; but do you know about sides? Listen in as the cubs define this role in the MSM community and what it means in the sexual spectrum.

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Sides 

  • Definition?

Joe Kort developed the term in 2013 after not engaging in anal intercourse and feeling frustrated answering the “top or bottom” question.  “Can I be a side?”

A side is typically a man who has sex with another man (MSM) who does not engage in anal intercourse or penetration as it is not part of their erotic orientation.  Erotic orientation reflects your sexual fantasies, desires, and sexual behaviors.  

Self-labels (labels used to describe anal sex behaviors….or does it):

  • Top 
  • Bottom 
  • Versatile 
    • What if you don’t fit into any of those groups?  shame…guilt….FOMO…et al. 
  • Sides 

Articles:

Videos: Barry Birkholz

Book: Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment 

Podcast: Smart Sex, Smart Love: Episode 50 Side Guys

  • Awareness?
    • Side Guys Facebook Group  (currently 323 members)
    • Many different presentations of sides 
    • Sex is not just penetration 
    • Navigating conversations about being a “side” 
    • Inclusive language verse exclusive language 
  • Acceptance?

Backlash from gay community…

  • Interest?
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