Tag Archives: authenticity

COL717: LoR: Healing Our Queer Inner Child

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss the psychological concept of the inner child. Initiating from a conversation about Bluey (who knew?), the idea of finding connections to your inner child to heal from the potential harm caused by trauma comes to the forefront in this installment. Listen in as Ed leads the guys on ways to cope with and celebrate with their inner child to bring about healing and growth.

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Landscape of Relationships: Healing Our Queer Inner Child

Our Inner Child is a self-state part of us that is still experiencing and processing emotions, thoughts, and memories from that time but also is playful, spontaneous, and creative. Erik Erikson’s stages of development suggests that we have MULTIPLE inner children/adolescent/emerging adults within us.  

Inner Child is a common topic in therapy 

  • Writing letters to your childhood self
  • Engaging in playful, creative, and spontaneous behaviors 
  • Mindfulness or meditation 

Current topic re: Inner Child “Bluey”

Queer Authenticity 

“Queer people don’t grow up as themselves, we grow up playing  a version of ourselves that sacrifices authenticity to minimize humiliation and prejudice.  The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves that are truly us and which parts we created to protect us.” -Alexander Leon

How can we heal our queer inner child?

  • First, talk to a therapist
  • Start asking yourself what you needed growing up and do that
  • Edward’s Disney adventure
  • Music
  • Concerts
  • Playing games
  • Watching cartoons
  • ….get creative!
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COL683: Trans Bear Listener 2

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined by BuilTABear, another trans listener who, after hearing COL514, shared his feedback and brought some perspective that may not have been touched on at that time 4 years ago. The cubs revisit the topic of trans identity and the bear community while also getting to learn more about BuilTABear’s upcoming projects regarding the older trans community.

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Trans Bear Listener 2

In the summer of 2019, we did an interview with listener Trans Bear, or T-bear, to discuss previous episodes where we here and there touched on transness in the broader bear community. In 15 years of the podcast, our understanding of being trans has evolved. True to our nature, we’re excited to come back to this topic with another listener that reached out to us with feedback on episode COL514 from almost 4 years ago amongst others. Thank you BuilTABear for joining us!

  • What was discovering you’re Trans like?
  • What has your experience been so far with self-image, coming out to family, friends, co-workers?
  • How has the Bear community responded to you in general/specifically?
  • The NEW podcast series OG Transmen: Life After Transition
  • New Facebook business page: BUILTABEAR PRODUCTIONS 
    • Designed to be an information / networking hub for trans guys
    • There will be links to relevant articles, any trans producer podcasts, resource page links, trans guy product reviews, trans guy / LGBTQ merchandise, and whatever else comes up…

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COL680: LoR: Parasocial Interactions

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. The cubs are once again joined by Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke for this insightful look into one-sided parasocial interactions. From celebrities to social media influencers, learn how these types of relationships are formed without the others’ knowledge and also the positive and negative impacts they can have on the person creating it. Please like, comment and subscribe to learn more.

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Landscape of Relationships: Parasocial Interactions

Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships where one person invests lots of time, energy, interest, and sometimes money where the other person is completely unaware of the other person’s existence.  Parasocial relationships are most common with celebrities, organizations, television stars, and social media.  These relationships are created through parasocial interactions (PSI) through mediated encounters with performers through mass media.

Social media offers an added layer of interaction for these relationships to intensify through likes, comments, and direct messaging.  

Alief – def. knowing something isn’t real but feeling like it is

Positive Outcomes of Parasocial Relationships

*Identity Formation 

  • performers can offer autonomy in relationships where they can receive total acceptance outside of parents/family.  
  • provide a secure relationship without the fear of rejection.
  • feeling a part of a group 
  • empathy

*Learning

  • Bandura’s Social Learning Theory says that social behavior is learning and imitating the behaviors of others. 
  • Shows like Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer, Blue’s Clues, and more recently Bluey all offer kids opportunities to learn through identification with these characters.  

Negative Outcomes of Parasocial Relationships 

*Body Image 

  • research has indicated a negative relationship between parasocial relationships and body image, as well as self-comparison, social comparison with characters increases negative body image 
  • interestingly among men, having a PSR with a superhero is likely to protect body image, where not having a PSR with a superhero is likely to hurt body image 
  • the usage of filters in social media (like airbrushing in print media) has greatly increased, giving a false reality of performers.

*Aggression 

  • more aggressive viewers were more likely to identify with aggressive characters and create PSR with them. 

*General 

  • anxiety media views are more likely to be more invested in parasocial relationships 
  • parasocial relationships are one-sided and different traditional friendships
  • the whole hegemonic masculinity thing
  • parasocial breakups and grief “what happens when they ‘betray’ you or they die?” Research indicated this follows the patterns of a relationship breakup
  • can create bias in reality 

Topics of PSR

  • Taylor Swift “Swifties”, Lizzo “Lizzbeans”
  • Twitter/Only Fans
  • Reality TV Stars 
  • Vloggers/Podcast hosts 
  • Fictional Characters 
  • Tiktok 
  • Politicians

Be mindful of the media you are consuming and how that translates into your other relationships and the real world.

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COLDR: AS6E11: The Charisma Uniqueness Nerve Talent Monologues

In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Gary and Damon snap their fingers in celebration as the top four..err top five tell their drag-spiration stories. While the All Stars do some monologuing then strut the runway in some fashion oopsies, the guys applaud their actions and give their thoughts on who makes it into the top four (again). Which queen talks their way into the finale and which one is left mumbling?

WEEKLY TOPIC

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 

Put the Pedal to the Metal:

Overall Thoughts: The C.U.N.T. Monologues

  • [Damon] – Familiar but Different
  • [Gary] – Different and Still Challenging

Cruise the Runway:

Category/Theme: Oops I Did It Again

  • [Damon] – Odd Category
  • [Gary] – How Did They Get Different Takeaways?

Snaps & Eyerolls:

  • [Damon] – Snaps for… Ra’jah on Brand
  • [Gary] – Snaps for… Ginger’s Attention to Detail
  • [Damon] – Eyerolls for… I’m a Little Mad Ya’ll…
  • [Gary] – Eyerolls for… Huh…
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COL598: Landscape of Relationships: Trust Part Two

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. This time the guys discuss trust. For this second part, the guys continue their break down of the anatomy of trust. Listen in as the cubs open their vaults and get courageous in the face of judgment. As integral parts of the anatomy, the guys further discuss vulnerability and how it is important to trust with others and themselves.

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Landscape of Relationships: Trust

  • What is trust?

Brené Brown: Anatomy of Trust 

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