Tag Archives: rupaul

COL710: LoR: Self-care

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss self-care. From taking time for your personal needs to finding your stress levels minimize while out with friends, listen as the guys analyze the ins and outs of self-care. But is providing self-care selfish? Find out as Dr. Ed helps the guys learn more about it.

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Landscape of Relationships: Self-care

What is self-care?

The National Institute in Mental Health says that “self-care means taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health. When it comes to your mental health, self-care can help you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy. Even small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact” (NIMH, December, 2022).

Examples of self-care 

  • Exercise 
  • Eating well and hydration 
  • Regular sleep 
  • Relaxing activity 
  • Goal setting (realistic goals, I mean)
  • Gratitude 
  • Practice acceptance and mindfulness 
  • Stay connected 

What isn’t here? 

  • Important question when it comes to self-care.  Am I practicing self-care or am I avoiding something?
  • Short term discomfort for long-term gain

What does it mean to practice self-care in relationships?

Differentiation of Self

  • One of the cornerstones of Bowen family systems theory, which states that families are an emotional system.  A person’s ability to manage the relationship between individualization and togetherness determines someone’s differentiation of self.  
  • Differentiated individuals are able to manage conflict without emotional reactivity, maintain their I-state, reach compromises; whereas, undifferentiated individuals tend to fuse with others or blend their emotional state with others, or their will exhibit emotional cutoff, which is where someone will manage their own emotional process by creating emotional and physical distance with someone.  

Social Self-care 

  • No person is an island and neither are you, ok?
  • Sometimes self-care is connecting with others and working on our relationships with others. 
  • Six Hours to a Better Relationship 

Final thoughts 

  • Reach healthy differentiation of self by identifying your own needs in conjunction with your relationship needs….AND recognize, accept, and validate the individual needs of the members of your relationships.  You will do yourself and everyone else a HUGE favor.  
  • “Self-care ain’t selfish” – Adoom 
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COL680: LoR: Parasocial Interactions

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. The cubs are once again joined by Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke for this insightful look into one-sided parasocial interactions. From celebrities to social media influencers, learn how these types of relationships are formed without the others’ knowledge and also the positive and negative impacts they can have on the person creating it. Please like, comment and subscribe to learn more.

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Landscape of Relationships: Parasocial Interactions

Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships where one person invests lots of time, energy, interest, and sometimes money where the other person is completely unaware of the other person’s existence.  Parasocial relationships are most common with celebrities, organizations, television stars, and social media.  These relationships are created through parasocial interactions (PSI) through mediated encounters with performers through mass media.

Social media offers an added layer of interaction for these relationships to intensify through likes, comments, and direct messaging.  

Alief – def. knowing something isn’t real but feeling like it is

Positive Outcomes of Parasocial Relationships

*Identity Formation 

  • performers can offer autonomy in relationships where they can receive total acceptance outside of parents/family.  
  • provide a secure relationship without the fear of rejection.
  • feeling a part of a group 
  • empathy

*Learning

  • Bandura’s Social Learning Theory says that social behavior is learning and imitating the behaviors of others. 
  • Shows like Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer, Blue’s Clues, and more recently Bluey all offer kids opportunities to learn through identification with these characters.  

Negative Outcomes of Parasocial Relationships 

*Body Image 

  • research has indicated a negative relationship between parasocial relationships and body image, as well as self-comparison, social comparison with characters increases negative body image 
  • interestingly among men, having a PSR with a superhero is likely to protect body image, where not having a PSR with a superhero is likely to hurt body image 
  • the usage of filters in social media (like airbrushing in print media) has greatly increased, giving a false reality of performers.

*Aggression 

  • more aggressive viewers were more likely to identify with aggressive characters and create PSR with them. 

*General 

  • anxiety media views are more likely to be more invested in parasocial relationships 
  • parasocial relationships are one-sided and different traditional friendships
  • the whole hegemonic masculinity thing
  • parasocial breakups and grief “what happens when they ‘betray’ you or they die?” Research indicated this follows the patterns of a relationship breakup
  • can create bias in reality 

Topics of PSR

  • Taylor Swift “Swifties”, Lizzo “Lizzbeans”
  • Twitter/Only Fans
  • Reality TV Stars 
  • Vloggers/Podcast hosts 
  • Fictional Characters 
  • Tiktok 
  • Politicians

Be mindful of the media you are consuming and how that translates into your other relationships and the real world.

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COL676: Where Do We Go Next?

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys chirp about the recent changes to Twitter. With Twitter announcing that they are no longer allowing some social media platforms to be linked on their site, the cubs discuss the potential abandoning ship of members and where they will flock to as they ask the question: Where do we go next?

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Where do we go next?

Twitter recently announced another update to its policies [not yet incorporated into their TOS]. Now linking to ‘some’ other social media platforms will get your shutdown/banned. Slowly the platform has been losing users, advertisers, and the community of kink/MSM/LGBTQIA+ has been searching for a new home. Which begs some questions… Where do we go next? What do we want in our platforms? How much would we pay for such a thing? Does anyone care? 

 

Link

https://twitter.com/BMeiselas/status/1604173547240407041

Twitter Help: Social Platforms Policy 

 

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COLDR: AS7E05: Dance Like a Drag Queen & The Kennedy Davenport Center Honors Hall of Shade

In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Gary and Damon are honored to spill the tea on the legends! As the queens dance like fools to gain influencer cred and then roast each other to a crisp, listen in as the guys critique the glow up as we inch ever so closer to the finale.

WEEKLY TOPIC

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 7 Wikipedia

Put the Pedal to the Metal:

  • [Damon] – Serve: Glow Up Runway!, Swerve: Judging the Dances, Nerve: 
  • [Gary] – Serves: What Lies Beneath and All Glow’d Up themes, Swerve: Kitsch & ‘Celestial’, Nerves: The Return of Wintergreen!

Snaps & Eyerolls:

  • [Damon] – Snaps for… Funny Untucked Moment w/Raja
  • [Gary] – Snaps for… Wintergreen on stage and UNTUCKED!
  • [Damon] – Eyerolls for… Shea Fading Away
  • [Gary] – Eyerolls for… No twists makes it boring…
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COLDR: AS7E04: Legendary Legends Looks & Santa’s School for Girls

In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Gary and Damon return to the legends as the All-Stars keep going and going and going. From fashion reimagings to a Mean Girls Christmas Horror extravaganza, listen in as the guys give their slays and throwaways. As they appear to be the only ones actually critiquing the All Winners, let them ho-ho holler and give their opinions on where the queens are going as we inch ever so closer to the finale.

WEEKLY TOPIC

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 7 Wikipedia

Put the Pedal to the Metal:

  • [Damon] – Serve: FINALLY A GOOD DIRECTOR , Swerve: Where’s the critique?, Nerve: Trinity’s Tribute
  • [Gary] – Serves: Jaida’s Tribute Lewk & Shea’s Knitty Lewk, Swerve: Viv’s Tribute, Nerves: Knitty Knitty Bang Bang & SHE-three-pe-oh!

Snaps & Eyerolls:

  • [Damon] – Snaps for… Little Booty Jaida  
  • [Gary] – Snaps for… Ru Crackup/Vivienne
  • [Damon] – Eyerolls for… Why Did They Win?  
  • [Gary] – Eyerolls for… Downfall of Perfection, Not Calling Out Bullshit aka That Craptastic Lip Sync
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