In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About… For this episode, the guys talk about love–exciting and new. From feeling romantic vibes to just feeling randy, find out how the cubs feel about finding love, being in love, and what love means to them.
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LTA… The Love Bug
When it comes to the romantic side of our hosts, what do they feel describes them as being in love? Are there specific feelings, actions, behaviors that we universally feel show love for others? Have we ever been ‘bitten by the love bug’? Did we get over the itch?
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs celebrate the show’s 15th anniversary! Many years ago, our producer, Jeff, got the itch to create a podcast and invited his friends to join him. Fifteen years, two generations of hosts, several guests and 100s of episodes later, COL is still going strong. Listen as the guys reminisce about the past and ponder the future.
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15 Years and Counting
Many moons ago, a cub had an idea to get some people together and record their thoughts on dang near everything and anything. They called it Cubs Out Loud. Since then, 678 sequential episodes have been produced, two generations of hosts, thousands of hours for listening/watching guys yammering, and over 450 videos on YouTube. It’s been a wild ride for a decade and half. What comes next? Hell if we know!
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss the potential red, yellow and green flags in relationship and kink dynamics. While a potentially funny meme, these flags are no laughing matter. Listen in as the cubs unfurl some details and give some insight into looking out for the signals of a healthy (and unhealthy) relationship.
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Landscape of Relationships: Red Flags, Green Flags
What are Relationship Flags?
Relationship flags are indicators of healthy, unhealthy, and dangerous behaviors or feelings within relationships.
They can be red, yellow, or green.
Red Flags
Controlling behaviors
Violence
Emotional and verbal abuse
Intentional sabotage or hurting of feelings
Walking on eggshells
Friends and family (support) are not trusting of your partner
Using things against you that were told in confidence
Usually can improve for short periods of time but abuse is usually cyclical
Yellow Flags
All or nothing communication
Pushes boundaries
Codependency or enmeshment
Difficulty with finding things in common
Lack of similarities with goals and values
These can be improved upon in meaningful ways
Green Flags
Healthy communication
Respecting boundaries
Interdependence
Supportive of goals and values
Knowing love languages
Awareness that no relationship is perfect
Let’s Get Kinky
Red Flags in Kink
Expect you to immediately obey them and call them an honorific or title before agreed upon/Call you a title one honorific immediately before agreed upon
Don’t ask you about your hard or soft limits
Tell you what “real” or “true” submissive or a dominant does
Separate you from friends and family or kinky friends
Tell you that they have no limits and expect you to have no limits as well
Expect you, as the Dominant, to take full responsibility for their health and wellbeing, both physically and emotionally
Dismiss opinions
Dictate how your dynamic will go
Green Flags in Kink
Want to get to know you on a deeper level, and have an interest in more than just your kinks and sexual preferences
They won’t do anything without your expressed consent, and will respect your stated boundaries and limits, as well as sharing their own
They’re interested in hearing about your journey in kink, as well as what turns you on and off, along with your opinions on how you’d like your dynamic to grow
They respect your existing friendships and relationships, even if they may not be directly introduced to the other important people in your life
They emphasize the importance of safety, consent, negotiation, and safe words in kinky dynamics
They take responsibility for their actions, understanding that you are not the cure for their problems
If you feel you are in a dangerous relationship situation. Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. In this episode, the guys show how they feel the love within the five love languages. From learning what the languages are to sharing their results, listen in as the guys gift us some touching acts of quality words to help understand how these languages affirm the love and affection one can feel for their loved ones. In addition, learn more about more recent developments in the love languages from neurodivergent to kink play dynamics.
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Love Languages
Love Languages (Gary Chapman):
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Acts of Service
Gifts
Physical Touch
The 5 Love Languages (according to Britney, Bitch!):
Physical Touch: My loneliness is killing me
Words of Affirmation: I must confess I still believe
Quality Time: When I’m not with you I lose my mind
Give Giving: Give me a sign
Acts of Service: Hit me baby one more time
The 5 Neurodivergent Love Languages:
Infodumping
Parallel Play
Support Swapping
Please Crush My Soul Back into My Body
“I found this cool rock/button/leaf/etc and thought you would like it”
Fear not: John Gottman and the Gottman approach, which I reference often, is a good overlap with the 5 languages of love….and allows some flexibility with the concepts.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About… For this episode, the guys talk about love–exciting and new. From feeling romantic vibes to just feeling randy, find out how the cubs feel about finding love, being in love, and what love means to them.
