Tag Archives: binary

COL580: LTAS: Sides

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, Let’s Talk About Sex!  The guys are joined by resident Sex Therapist Edward Angelini-Cooke to discuss “sides”. You know of tops, bottoms, and versatiles; but do you know about sides? Listen in as the cubs define this role in the MSM community and what it means in the sexual spectrum.

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Sides 

  • Definition?

Joe Kort developed the term in 2013 after not engaging in anal intercourse and feeling frustrated answering the “top or bottom” question.  “Can I be a side?”

A side is typically a man who has sex with another man (MSM) who does not engage in anal intercourse or penetration as it is not part of their erotic orientation.  Erotic orientation reflects your sexual fantasies, desires, and sexual behaviors.  

Self-labels (labels used to describe anal sex behaviors….or does it):

  • Top 
  • Bottom 
  • Versatile 
    • What if you don’t fit into any of those groups?  shame…guilt….FOMO…et al. 
  • Sides 

Articles:

Videos: Barry Birkholz

Book: Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment 

Podcast: Smart Sex, Smart Love: Episode 50 Side Guys

  • Awareness?
    • Side Guys Facebook Group  (currently 323 members)
    • Many different presentations of sides 
    • Sex is not just penetration 
    • Navigating conversations about being a “side” 
    • Inclusive language verse exclusive language 
  • Acceptance?

Backlash from gay community…

  • Interest?
Play

COL532: The Landscape of Relationships

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined by previous guest Edward Angelini-Cooke for an in depth discussion on relationships. Based on some of Edward’s research for his doctoral dissertation, the cubs breakdown some of the various dynamics in the vast landscape of relationships. From monogamy to polycules, listen as the cubs give some insight to the “It’s Complicated” relationship statuses and more.

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The Landscape of Relationships

    • Relationship Anarchy – belief that relationships should not be bound by rules aside from what the people involved mutually agree upon
    • Closed Relationships – relationships that limits sexual and romantic to strictly the parties involved in the relationship
      • Monogamy – a two-person relationship in which an individual has only one partner during their lifetime—alternately, only one partner at any one time (Serial Monogamy)
        • Infidelity – violation of a couple’s assumed or stated contract regarding emotional and/or sexual exclusivity (synonyms include: cheating, straying, adultery (when married), being unfaithful, or having an affair)
      • Polyfidelity – a relationship structure where all members are considered equal partners and agree to restrict sexual activity to only other members of the group [considered both closed and open at the same time]
    • Open Relationships – a relationship that is non-monogamous; generally indicates a relationship where there is a primary relationship between two partners, who agree to at least the possibility of other people
      • Monogamish – In a July 20, 2011 column, Dan Savage coined the term, applying it to his own relationship with his partner; describing couples who are “mostly” but not 100% monogamous; such couples have an understanding that allows for some amount of sexual activity outside the relationship
      • Poly
        • Polyamory – the practice of, or desire for, relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved; described as “consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy”
        • Polygamy – the practice of marrying multiple spouses
          • Polygyny – most common/accepted form of polygamy; marriage of a man with several women
          • Polyandry – marriage in which a woman takes two or more husbands at the same time
    • Bigamy – In cultures where monogamy is mandated, bigamy is the act of entering into a marriage with one person while still legally married to another
      • Swinging – [sometimes called wife swapping, husband swapping, or partner swapping] sexual activity in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship engage in such activities with others as a recreational or social activity

Resources 

Books:

Podcasts 

  • Loving Without Boundaries 
  • Polamory Weekly 
  • Touch of Flavor [kink centric]
  • Non-monogamy Help
  • Savage Lovecast

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COL524: LTAS: What Porn Taught Us – Part Three

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another Let’s Talk About Sex. In this multi-part series, the cubs are joined again by Daddy Hadrian to talk about what porn has taught us. For this third part, the guys discuss the future of porn. How much porn will there be in the future and what will it entail? What will dictate the future of porn: our human nature or the growth and changing of technology? Listen in as the cubs peer into their crystal balls and gaze deeper into the vastness of the black hole that is porn.

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Let’s Talk About Sex Series: What Porn Taught Us – Part Three

  • What will porn be like in the future and how will it affect the next generations?

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COL522: Trans Bear Interview

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs are joined by special guest, TB, for an interview. TB is our trans bear listener whose feedback we discussed in recent episodes. We invite him on to discuss more about his coming out as trans, his life as a a gay transperson and his interactions with the bear community. Listen in as TB gives us a fun and introspective look into his life.

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Trans Bear Interview! – We invited our feedback audience member to join the co-hosts to talk about their experiences as a Trans man.

  • What was discovering you’re Trans like?
  • What has your experience been so far with self-image, coming out to family, friends, co-workers?
  • Are there memorable encounters for you with the LGBTQ communities?
  • How has the Bear community responded to you in general/specifically?

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COL452: ATNS: Who You Callin’ A Chaser?

COL452: ATNS: Who You Callin’ A Chaser? In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs are joined by the adorkable Chris Diorio to talk about chasers. The guys discuss the stigma surrounding the word “chaser” and go through the perceptions of its permutations.

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Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Food Experiments, and Impulse buys.
  • Damon: Time off. Bad news.
  • Chester: Trident Member, TSA Assessment
  • Gary: Grouchy Meh
  • Chris: Mr Chicago Leather last weekend, TCL soon, Otherwise work surprisingly slow lol

Feedback:

YouTube Subscribers:

  • Trường Sơn Võ

Twitter Followers:

Tumblr Followers:

Tumblr Comment:

  • Mygingerpowers
    • I got featured on Cubs Out Loud! Thanks studs. You guys are amazing! I love the podcast. Been listening for years!

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The stigma behind the term “Chaser”

Cooldown Topics

I’ll Tumbl For Ya:

Links:

  • Chris: Caleb Hyles. Fantasy cover artist and super cute   

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