In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another All T No Shade episode. As the calendar shifts into June, LGBTQ+ Pride rears its fabulous head once again. With this in mind, the guys reflect on what that means this year as legislation reaches new heights of removing all the progress that has been made in recent years. From drag & book bans to transfolk in sports & bathrooms, the cubs get frank and discuss the changing landscape of the community.
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ATNS: LGBTQIA+ Pride in 2023
At midnight June 1st, internet and social media codes around the world swapped basic images for ones with suddenly colorful versions of their corporate logos. The ‘gays’ awoke in the morning to choose wrath or being a demon. Which means it must be that season once again, PRIDE is here and it’s 2023. The landscape has changed vastly. Drag entertainment is at the height of professional productions while states have been legislating all over the place to reverse gains in equity over recent years.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined by BuilTABear, another trans listener who, after hearing COL514, shared his feedback and brought some perspective that may not have been touched on at that time 4 years ago. The cubs revisit the topic of trans identity and the bear community while also getting to learn more about BuilTABear’s upcoming projects regarding the older trans community.
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Trans Bear Listener 2
In the summer of 2019, we did an interview with listener Trans Bear, or T-bear, to discuss previous episodes where we here and there touched on transness in the broader bear community. In 15 years of the podcast, our understanding of being trans has evolved. True to our nature, we’re excited to come back to this topic with another listener that reached out to us with feedback on episode COL514 from almost 4 years ago amongst others. Thank you BuilTABear for joining us!
What was discovering you’re Trans like?
What has your experience been so far with self-image, coming out to family, friends, co-workers?
How has the Bear community responded to you in general/specifically?
The NEW podcast series OG Transmen: Life After Transition
New Facebook business page: BUILTABEAR PRODUCTIONS
Designed to be an information / networking hub for trans guys
There will be links to relevant articles, any trans producer podcasts, resource page links, trans guy product reviews, trans guy / LGBTQ merchandise, and whatever else comes up…
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this one, the guys continue the discussion from COL604 about apologies and move on to forgiveness. What is forgiveness? After apologizing, should you ask for forgiveness? Are there any benefits to forgiving someone? The cubs give their answers to these questions and more.
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Landscape of Relationships: Forgiveness
Last time we talked about apologies, and we started to talk about the process of forgiveness and how that can relate to the apology process.
According to the 5 languages of apologies, requesting forgiveness is the last language….and I disagree. I don’t think it is fair to request, assume, or expect someone to forgive you. The responsibility lies on the person hearing the apology whether or not they want to forgive the situation….because at the end of the day, it isn’t really about that other person….it is about them.
So what is forgiveness?
“Forgiveness” is the act or process of forgiving or being forgiven. And “forgive” means to end the resentment or anger felt towards another person, situation, or think for an offense, flaw, or mistake.
Cultural idea that forgiveness is one of the greatest of virtues, the highest form of love, and necessity for good mental and physical health. This view says that forgiveness helps reduce stress, blood pressure, lowering risk of heart attacks, and other mental health concerns such as depression and anxiety.
Studies have indicated that the benefits of forgiveness include lowered cholesterol, decreased risk of heart attacks, and other mental health concerns such as anxiety and depression.
The problem with this model is that it gives the idea that forgiveness is the only path and if you don’t forgive an unapologetic person, then you are somehow less spiritual and more inclined to physical and emotional problems. Rushing to forgive can have its own costs as psychologist Janis Abraahms Springs believes.
In “Why Won’t You Apologize”, Harriet Lerner mentions that many of her clients are not necessarily looking to forgive someone but rather to be rid of the anger, bitterness, resentment, and pain. They want to let go. We don’t have to forgive in order to let go. While for some people, seeking to forgive others may be the goal and an important part of their spiritual journey. That is called radical forgiveness. Studies indicate that forgiveness is important to a successful relationship.
To go back to the health benefits of forgiveness…it is more the act of letting go of what you can’t control that is the most healing.
Apologies should never be forced, demanded, or commanded. “It’s been twenty years, why can’t you forgive him?”
Forgiveness also isn’t all-or-nothing. We can forgive someone 95 percent to 2 percent or anywhere in between. It is up to you. And that is powerful.
Also….lets not forget self-forgiveness or self-compassion. We are oftentimes our own worst enemy. We need forgiveness just as much as other people….if not more.
Final thing: You do not need to forgive a person who has hurt you in order to free yourself from the pain of negative emotions. And it is no one else’s job to tell you to forgive…or not to.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs bring back a forgotten topic thread from their history. Grab your teacups as it’s time for another All T, No Shade show! As we approach the halfway point of the year 2020, the cubs spill the tea on the hell of a ride it has been so far. From the coronavirus causing Pride celebrations to become virtual parades to the bringing of the racial and systemic issues in the US, listen as the guys have a no holds barred, frank discussion on the half-year of unprecedented circumstances.
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2020 isn’t even half way over just yet and it’s been a helluva ride so far. We talk about the changing face of Pride during COVID-19. From Virtual Pride to Black Lives Matter, nobody’s 2020 bingo card could have prepared us for this.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another Let’s Talk About Kink! It’s been a while, so the guys decide to get a little introspective on their personal journeys into the kink scene. From initial misunderstandings to finding out just how kinky they are, the cubs share how far they have gone to respect the yums of themselves and others.
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Let’s Talk About Kink Series: From Yuk to Yum
Each of us has a history of pre-kink and where we are now. What did we think was off-putting vs today’s acceptance and participation?
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another All T No Shade episode. As the calendar shifts into June, LGBTQ+ Pride rears its fabulous head once again. With this in mind, the guys reflect on what that means this year as legislation reaches new heights of removing all the progress that has been made in recent years. From drag & book bans to transfolk in sports & bathrooms, the cubs get frank and discuss the changing landscape of the community.
