In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s a holiday fun time with our 3rd annual Jingle Mingle 3: Revenge of the Bells! This time around, the guys get a little naughty for Christmas with some fun games. Laughs, stories and more ensue as Gary leads the sleigh. Join the cubs, Drew, Joshua, Lloyd and Cubziz as they determine who is the naughtiest of them all!
Show Topic
Jingle Mingle 3
The COL hosts are gathering online again for a year end social. It’s holiday themed games as we find out who’s the naughtiest!
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss self-care. From taking time for your personal needs to finding your stress levels minimize while out with friends, listen as the guys analyze the ins and outs of self-care. But is providing self-care selfish? Find out as Dr. Ed helps the guys learn more about it.
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Self-care
What is self-care?
The National Institute in Mental Health says that “self-care means taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health. When it comes to your mental health, self-care can help you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy. Even small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact” (NIMH, December, 2022).
Examples of self-care
Exercise
Eating well and hydration
Regular sleep
Relaxing activity
Goal setting (realistic goals, I mean)
Gratitude
Practice acceptance and mindfulness
Stay connected
What isn’t here?
Important question when it comes to self-care. Am I practicing self-care or am I avoiding something?
Short term discomfort for long-term gain
What does it mean to practice self-care in relationships?
Differentiation of Self
One of the cornerstones of Bowen family systems theory, which states that families are an emotional system. A person’s ability to manage the relationship between individualization and togetherness determines someone’s differentiation of self.
Differentiated individuals are able to manage conflict without emotional reactivity, maintain their I-state, reach compromises; whereas, undifferentiated individuals tend to fuse with others or blend their emotional state with others, or their will exhibit emotional cutoff, which is where someone will manage their own emotional process by creating emotional and physical distance with someone.
Social Self-care
No person is an island and neither are you, ok?
Sometimes self-care is connecting with others and working on our relationships with others.
Reach healthy differentiation of self by identifying your own needs in conjunction with your relationship needs….AND recognize, accept, and validate the individual needs of the members of your relationships. You will do yourself and everyone else a HUGE favor.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke is back to broach the topic of sex after 50. As one of the hosts is approaching this milestone, Ed addresses and discusses the potential changes to one’s sex drive as they cross that age. From sexual health to sexual desire, listen as the guys boil down what you need to be aware of as you cross over that hill.
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Sex After 50
Welcome to Your 50s!
Lots of people have healthy and active sexual lives at all stages of life. That being said, here are some aspects of your sexuality that MIGHT change.
Sexual Health
“The World Health Organization defines sexual health as a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.”
Regular doctors visits; talk to your doctor about your sexual health; bring a list of questions/comments/concerns helps
Colonoscopy and prostate cancer screenings
Maintain activity levels
Sexual Desire
We aren’t 16 anymore
Medical conditions, lifestyle, mood, hormone levels, medication
Spontaneous vs responsive desire
Possible adapt a sexual willingness mindframe
Erectile Dysfunction
Age doesn’t cause ED, but natural aging and illness can impact sexual response
ED is a biopsychosocial phenomenon with biological, physical, psychological, behavioral, emotional, and cognitive factors AS WELL AS identity, relationally (interpersonal and socially), and intimate factors.
Erections are not required for ejaculations or orgasms
Talk to your provider. Again, talk to your provider.
Medication and treatment options
Communication
”Adult sex is interpersonal” – McCarthy and Metz
Maintaining sexual intimacy is key; adapting a flexible sexual relationship
Creating
So remember,
Your sexual experience MAY change as you gets older
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About Sex. This time around, the cubs are coming back to a topic that was previously discussed several years ago: Masturbation. As it’s National Masturbation Day and International Masturbation Month, the guys get hands on letting you all know how they spank the monkey. From self-love to gooning and all that’s in between, find out more about the healthy and unhealthy ways to seek self-pleasure.
Show Topic
LTAS: Masturbation (Day)
That’s right, a national holiday has arrived and it begs the question, how did you celebrate? This time around we discuss the day in the US dedicated to ‘self-care’, as well as the International Day coming up in a few weeks and the ENTIRE MONTH for our own health and wellness. From throwbacks in COL350 to now, let’s just say the hosts have put in some research first hand on today’s topic.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke is back as the guys turn the pages on sexual scripts. Follow line by line as Ed and the cubs break down what sexual scripts are, where they come from and what happens when you go “off book.” Editing, improv and flipping the script are not just for the stage anymore!
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Sexual Scripts
What are sexual scripts?
In 1986, researchers William Simon and John H. Gagnon defined sexual scripts as the cultural and societally approved norms that a person accesses, agrees upon, and activates through a sexual socialization process. These sexual scripts are specific to the culture a person is socialized in, which tell them what behaviors, thoughts, emotions are or are not acceptable. People carry these scripts with them into sexual situations and they tell them how to respond. Simon and Gagnon theorized that sexual scripts have three different categories, including socio-cultural, interpersonal, and intrapsychic:
Examples of cultural sexual scripts:
Dating culture
Premarital sex
Monogamy
Dominance and submission
Heteronormative
What else?
Examples of interpersonal sexual scripts:
Flirting/sexual negotiation
Consent/sexual assault
Top/Bottom
What else?
Examples of intrapsychic sexual scripts:
Turn ons
Fantasy
Kinks and fetishes
Pleasure
Sexual Desire
What else?
Quote from Simon & Gagnon (1986)
In the most pragmatic sense, sexual scripts must solve two problems. The first of these is gaining permission from the self to engage in desired forms of sexual behavior. The second problem is that of access to the experiences that the desired behavior is expected to generate.
What happens when we go off script or improvising?
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s a holiday fun time with our 3rd annual Jingle Mingle 3: Revenge of the Bells! This time around, the guys get a little naughty for Christmas with some fun games. Laughs, stories and more ensue as Gary leads the sleigh. Join the cubs, Drew, Joshua, Lloyd and Cubziz as they determine who is the naughtiest of them all!
