Tag Archives: libido

COL702: LoR: Sex After 50

July 18, 2023 boxtech Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke is back to broach the topic of sex after 50. As one of the hosts is approaching this milestone, Ed addresses and discusses the potential changes to one’s sex drive as they cross that age. From sexual health to sexual desire, listen as the guys boil down what you need to be aware of as you cross over that hill.

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Landscape of Relationships: Sex After 50

Welcome to Your 50s!

Lots of people have healthy and active sexual lives at all stages of life. That being said, here are some aspects of your sexuality that MIGHT change.

Sexual Health

“The World Health Organization defines sexual health as a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.”
Regular doctors visits; talk to your doctor about your sexual health; bring a list of questions/comments/concerns helps
Colonoscopy and prostate cancer screenings
Maintain activity levels

Sexual Desire

We aren’t 16 anymore
Medical conditions, lifestyle, mood, hormone levels, medication
Spontaneous vs responsive desire
Possible adapt a sexual willingness mindframe

Erectile Dysfunction

Age doesn’t cause ED, but natural aging and illness can impact sexual response
ED is a biopsychosocial phenomenon with biological, physical, psychological, behavioral, emotional, and cognitive factors AS WELL AS identity, relationally (interpersonal and socially), and intimate factors.
Erections are not required for ejaculations or orgasms
Talk to your provider. Again, talk to your provider.
Medication and treatment options

Communication

”Adult sex is interpersonal” – McCarthy and Metz
Maintaining sexual intimacy is key; adapting a flexible sexual relationship
Creating

So remember,

Your sexual experience MAY change as you gets older

References

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COL698: LTA… CPAPs, finally!

June 20, 2023 boxtech Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About… This time around, the guys finally get around to talking about something that has plagued bear runs for years: CPAPs! With two of the co-hosts having them, the cubs discuss their challenges and successes with their usage. From restful sleep to increased energy and…libido, listen in as the guys share their experiences.

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LTA… CPAPs, finally!

As we become cubs of a certain age, our bodies also change and along comes one of the most ubiquitous accessories in the bear community! Do you have a CPAP or BiPAP? Have you been avoiding getting tested for one? Find out what the hosts think of their experiences as recent-ish newcomers to the scene.

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COL566: Aging Cubs

August 25, 2020 boxtech Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs are getting OLD! With Jeff’s 40th birthday coming soon, all of the COL hosts will be 40 and up. So, if they are getting old, can they really call themselves “cubs” anymore? Listen in as the guys reminisce on their aged experiences and discuss the good and bad about getting older in the LGBTQ+ community.

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Cubs at Any Age?

Definitions vs Labels
Loneliness with Aging
Health
Ageism

Satisfying Mature Gay Sexuality

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COL551: Sex Needs vs COVID-19

April 28, 2020 boxtech Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke of EAC Therapy and COL’s resident sex therapist. For this episode, the cubs acknowledge their thirst due to many states’ social distancing regulations during the COVID-19 pandemic. Because of this, we bring in the good doc to discuss the sexual needs during this crisis. We all have needs and need to find ways to address them safely.

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COVID-19 isn’t going away. And now more than ever we’re facing challenges with having our sexual needs met. What’s a person to do?

This is an extended traumatic experience….which means that people are going to have traumatic reactions to this. Here are some common traumatic reactions and ways to address them sexually:

IMPORTANT: Our reactions to this may be different therefore we may have different sexual libidos during this time (that is normal).

Overview:

Trauma reactions and how to help
- Lack of predictability
  - Keeping and maintaining a schedule
- Immobility
  - Date nights
    - 24 Dates You Can Try at Home – Gottman Institute
  - The 36 Questions That Lead to Love – NewYork Times Article
- Numbing out
  - Sex can be an escape….be aware
  - Increased alcohol and drug use
  - Mindful masturbation
    - The Pleasure Chest – Mindful Maturbation Collection
    - Mindful Masturbation for Better Sex – YouTube Video

- Loss of time and time permanence
  - Schedule time with people
  - Scheduling sex
- Safety
- Loss of Connection
  - Intimacy
    - “Intimacy is knowing who you are and letting someone in on the secret”
  - Getting creative
    - Distance BDSM
    - Distance toys
      - 13 App-Controlled Sex Toys for Couples in Long Distance Relationships
COVID-19 safe sex
- Research
Sex needs are valid needs
- Physical touch and skin hunger “Pickle tubs”
- Five love languages-Britney Spears
  - 5 Love Languages as Britney Spears Lyrics – Elite Daily Article

The 5 Love Languages

- - - Physical Touch: my loneliness is killing me
    - Words of Affirmation: I must confess, I still believe
    - Quality Time: When I’m not with you I lose my mind
    - Gift Giving: Give me a sign
    - Acts of Service: Hit me baby one more time
  - 5 Love Languages Quizzes
Suggestions
- Communication and Love Maps – Gottman Love maps Apple app & Gootman Love Cards Google Play Store
- Masturbation
  - Mindful Masturbation for Better Sex -YouTube Video

- Phone Sex
- Video sex
Looking into the future
- Research is seeing a decrease in STI rates
  - Decrease access to testing sites
- Re-entry
  - Sexual risk taking