In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys hop in their DeLorean and discuss the future of bears. The cubs gather together to talk about what another 30 to 40 years down the road might look like for the broader bear community. From disappearing bear runs to growing inclusivity, listen in as the guys ponder the next steps of the community.
Show Topic
Bears in the Future
The cubs gather together to talk about what another 30 to 40 years down the road might look like for the broader bear community. Will runs still exist? Are more animals coming into the menagerie? What about the ‘aging’ of the cubs in the year to come?
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss self-care. From taking time for your personal needs to finding your stress levels minimize while out with friends, listen as the guys analyze the ins and outs of self-care. But is providing self-care selfish? Find out as Dr. Ed helps the guys learn more about it.
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Self-care
What is self-care?
The National Institute in Mental Health says that “self-care means taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health. When it comes to your mental health, self-care can help you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy. Even small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact” (NIMH, December, 2022).
Examples of self-care
Exercise
Eating well and hydration
Regular sleep
Relaxing activity
Goal setting (realistic goals, I mean)
Gratitude
Practice acceptance and mindfulness
Stay connected
What isn’t here?
Important question when it comes to self-care. Am I practicing self-care or am I avoiding something?
Short term discomfort for long-term gain
What does it mean to practice self-care in relationships?
Differentiation of Self
One of the cornerstones of Bowen family systems theory, which states that families are an emotional system. A person’s ability to manage the relationship between individualization and togetherness determines someone’s differentiation of self.
Differentiated individuals are able to manage conflict without emotional reactivity, maintain their I-state, reach compromises; whereas, undifferentiated individuals tend to fuse with others or blend their emotional state with others, or their will exhibit emotional cutoff, which is where someone will manage their own emotional process by creating emotional and physical distance with someone.
Social Self-care
No person is an island and neither are you, ok?
Sometimes self-care is connecting with others and working on our relationships with others.
Reach healthy differentiation of self by identifying your own needs in conjunction with your relationship needs….AND recognize, accept, and validate the individual needs of the members of your relationships. You will do yourself and everyone else a HUGE favor.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss the often dreaded in-laws. As media seems to make it seem that most straight couples have to deal with their in-laws and spouse’s families, the cubs review how this translates into the relationships of the LGBTQ+ community. Are they really that different or can similar tactics, communication and boundaries help ease the potential tension?
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: In-Laws
Lots of research and media about how in-law relationships are really difficult. That may be the case as some research out there says 3 out of 4 couples have difficult relationships with heterosexual in-laws. Is that the case with same-sex relationships?
Every family is different with a different rulebook that has been in creation for possibly generations.
Possibility for conflictual interactions, difficult pasts, and crunchy presents.
BOUNDARIES!!!!!
Know your values
Stay true to you.
Brene Brown’s BRAVING…specifically the Generosity part.
Keep those conflict skills in check.
LGBT in-laws (2019) 400 interviews from children in law who identified as gay or lesbian. Describe relationship with same sex in law parent.
Many of those interviewed struggled with acceptance by one or both of their parents-in-law.
Relationships usually improved with time
While parents-in-law became increasingly accepting, there was often someone else in the family who was not accepting
Acceptance by the mothers-in-law, according to the daughters-in-law, came as more of their friends and social circle either had children who were lesbian or gay, or their friends and social circle became more socially aware.
Feelings of ambivalence toward family members are typical.
Be the subject of your life, not the object.
You become an adult child the moment you set boundaries with your family (and in-laws).
What do YOU want to do with your partner in relation to each other’s families?
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of June. From celebrating pride to celebrating love, the cubs get us up to date on the month of marriage and LGBTQIA+ festivities. As the world begins to return to a sense of normalcy after COVID, listen in as the guys divulge their summer fun plans.
What’s Going On?
Jeff: Role Shift/One brings shadow, one brings light
Damon: Anniversary Love/Gaming Routine/CMC Pride
Gary: The ‘race’ to ‘normal’
Urbandictionary
Gouinage – French term meaning having sex without penetration. Usually just achieving orgasm during foreplay, but can also involve masturbation and oral sex. Formerly used only with lesbians but can also be applied to gay sex, obviously.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs continue their annual tradition of doing another year in review. And what a year it was!! Listen in as the guys give the stats and dish the dirt on the hell of a year that was 2020.
Show Topic
2020 Year in Review – we survived!
2 – ATNS
3 – What is. . .
3 – LTAK
4 – LTAS
4 – LoR (new mini-series: Landscape of Relationships)
5 – LTAF (new series: Let’s Talk About Food)
5 – FlashBack episodes
12 – WGO
Non-series topics included: RIP GROWLr?, Return of Bathhouses?, The Blood Ban Issue,
LTA COVID-19, Sex Needs vs COVID-19, COVID-19 & Semen, Aging Cubs, 8th version of Jeff’s BDAY, NCOD, Our Favorite Things, RIP XTube/Pornhub?
Top Downloads:
2020
COL Flashback COL247-1: World Class Kisser Part One – 376
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys hop in their DeLorean and discuss the future of bears. The cubs gather together to talk about what another 30 to 40 years down the road might look like for the broader bear community. From disappearing bear runs to growing inclusivity, listen in as the guys ponder the next steps of the community.
