In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss self-care. From taking time for your personal needs to finding your stress levels minimize while out with friends, listen as the guys analyze the ins and outs of self-care. But is providing self-care selfish? Find out as Dr. Ed helps the guys learn more about it.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Self-care

What is self-care?

The National Institute in Mental Health says that “self-care means taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health. When it comes to your mental health, self-care can help you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy. Even small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact” (NIMH, December, 2022).

Examples of self-care 

• Exercise 
• Eating well and hydration 
• Regular sleep 
• Relaxing activity 
• Goal setting (realistic goals, I mean)
• Gratitude 
• Practice acceptance and mindfulness 
• Stay connected 

What isn’t here? 

• Important question when it comes to self-care.  Am I practicing self-care or am I avoiding something?
• Short term discomfort for long-term gain

What does it mean to practice self-care in relationships?

Differentiation of Self

• One of the cornerstones of Bowen family systems theory, which states that families are an emotional system.  A person’s ability to manage the relationship between individualization and togetherness determines someone’s differentiation of self.  
• Differentiated individuals are able to manage conflict without emotional reactivity, maintain their I-state, reach compromises; whereas, undifferentiated individuals tend to fuse with others or blend their emotional state with others, or their will exhibit emotional cutoff, which is where someone will manage their own emotional process by creating emotional and physical distance with someone.  

Social Self-care 

• No person is an island and neither are you, ok?
• Sometimes self-care is connecting with others and working on our relationships with others. 
• Six Hours to a Better Relationship 

Final thoughts 

• Reach healthy differentiation of self by identifying your own needs in conjunction with your relationship needs….AND recognize, accept, and validate the individual needs of the members of your relationships.  You will do yourself and everyone else a HUGE favor.  
• “Self-care ain’t selfish” – Adoom 

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