Tag Archives: ejaculation

COL710: LoR: Self-care

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss self-care. From taking time for your personal needs to finding your stress levels minimize while out with friends, listen as the guys analyze the ins and outs of self-care. But is providing self-care selfish? Find out as Dr. Ed helps the guys learn more about it.

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Landscape of Relationships: Self-care

What is self-care?

The National Institute in Mental Health says that “self-care means taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health. When it comes to your mental health, self-care can help you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy. Even small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact” (NIMH, December, 2022).

Examples of self-care 

  • Exercise 
  • Eating well and hydration 
  • Regular sleep 
  • Relaxing activity 
  • Goal setting (realistic goals, I mean)
  • Gratitude 
  • Practice acceptance and mindfulness 
  • Stay connected 

What isn’t here? 

  • Important question when it comes to self-care.  Am I practicing self-care or am I avoiding something?
  • Short term discomfort for long-term gain

What does it mean to practice self-care in relationships?

Differentiation of Self

  • One of the cornerstones of Bowen family systems theory, which states that families are an emotional system.  A person’s ability to manage the relationship between individualization and togetherness determines someone’s differentiation of self.  
  • Differentiated individuals are able to manage conflict without emotional reactivity, maintain their I-state, reach compromises; whereas, undifferentiated individuals tend to fuse with others or blend their emotional state with others, or their will exhibit emotional cutoff, which is where someone will manage their own emotional process by creating emotional and physical distance with someone.  

Social Self-care 

  • No person is an island and neither are you, ok?
  • Sometimes self-care is connecting with others and working on our relationships with others. 
  • Six Hours to a Better Relationship 

Final thoughts 

  • Reach healthy differentiation of self by identifying your own needs in conjunction with your relationship needs….AND recognize, accept, and validate the individual needs of the members of your relationships.  You will do yourself and everyone else a HUGE favor.  
  • “Self-care ain’t selfish” – Adoom 
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COL694: LTAS: Masturbation (Day)

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About Sex. This time around, the cubs are coming back to a topic that was previously discussed several years ago: Masturbation. As it’s National Masturbation Day and International Masturbation Month, the guys get hands on letting you all know how they spank the monkey. From self-love to gooning and all that’s in between, find out more about the healthy and unhealthy ways to seek self-pleasure.

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LTAS: Masturbation (Day)

That’s right, a national holiday has arrived and it begs the question, how did you celebrate? This time around we discuss the day in the US dedicated to ‘self-care’, as well as the International Day coming up in a few weeks and the ENTIRE MONTH for our own health and wellness. From throwbacks in COL350 to now, let’s just say the hosts have put in some research first hand on today’s topic.

UrbanDictionary – Gooning

 

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COL654: LTAS: Awakening

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another installment of Let’s Talk About Sex. For this episode, the cubs go way back and discuss their sexual awakenings. Whether it was their first time or their best time, the guys reminisce on that joyous time they discovered themselves as sexual beings. From the birds to the bees, listen in as they share their moments when they figured out what’s going on down there.

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Lets Talk About Sex: Awakening

The hosts discuss when they discovered personal sexual awakenings many years ago. 

Urban Dictionary lists Sexual Awakening as: The first time in a person’s life in which they experience a euphoric feeling and desire to be physically intimate with someone.

Sexual Awakening can be defined as when you finally become one with your original essence, your primal energy, and you know your sexual organs.

 

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COL630: Jingle Mingle

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs have a little holiday mixer. With some listeners joining along, the guys play some games and spread a little holiday cheer.

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Jingle Mingle 

The COL hosts have an online year end social. It’s holiday themed games of virtual bingo, this or that, and we find out who’s on the naughty list!

If you’re interested in our Jingle Jingle Bingo virtual game, below are some details/links to play the same game online. Btw, yes Gary misspelled the word ‘bells’ as ‘beels’ in the list that created this specific game. The website myfreebingocards.com allows you to create virtual games with certain limitations but upgrade options for a cost. 

Play virtual bingo free

Share the Virtual Link below with up to 30 friends. They can play virtual bingo on any device or print out their bingo card. Virtual Link: https://mfbc.us/m/yj52w9w

Everyone who follows this link will get one of 30 random bingo cards. It’s possible that two players will get the same bingo card. If you want to make sure everyone gets a different bingo card you can send out these individual links. If you have more than 30 players choose a paid option. Each player will get a link to their own unique bingo card that they cannot change, and we provide a tool to quickly send out individual links by email. For more information check out our Virtual Bingo Guide.

 

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COL591: LTAS: Orgasm vs Ejaculation

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke for another Let’s Talk About Sex. For this episode, the cubs “cum” together to discuss ejaculation and orgasms. The first thing to learn is that they are not the same thing. Listen in as Ed breaks it down from the scientific to the emotional and all that’s in between.

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Let’s Talk About Sex: Orgasm vs Ejaculation

This topic is going to be super straight forward, y’all….

  • Orgasm refers to the subjective experience of pleasure associated with ejaculation. 
  • Ejaculation is the process of pushing the seminal fluids out of the verumontanum (“balloon”) inside the prostate through the urethra and out of the penis.  

Usually these are experienced at the same time, however they are two different physiological processes.  

Basically, ejaculation happens between your legs, and orgasm happens between your ears.  

Human Sexual Response Cycle (Kaplan, 1974; Masters & Johnson, 1966)

  • Desire 
  • Excitement (Arousal)
  • Plateau 
  • Orgasm/Ejaculation 
  • Satisfaction 

The Journey to Ejaculation 

  • Erection (brain, nervous system, vascular system leads to penile rigidity….this process is controlled by the parasympathetic nervous system…think “Point”)
  • Emission
    • Collection and transport of fluids that make up semen in preparation for ejaculation.  Sperm travels from your testicles through the vas deferens, which meet at the prostate gland with the exiting your bladder to form your urethra tube.  The urethra tube runs through the prostate gland and out through the penis.  When we get an erection, the exit of the bladder closes (which it is why it is hard to pee in the morning when you have a hard on), your testicles are drawn up against your body, and semen collects in the verumontanum or the “balloon”, which is a balloonlike chamber inside the prostate gland. When someone gets so stimulated to the point of ejaculation, the verumontanum fills with semen to three times its size.  The pressure triggers the ejaculatory inevitability sensation and then the reflex of ejaculation.  Once we reach this point, there is no turning back, someone could walk in your room with gun’s ablazing, you are still going to shoot your load.  
  • Ejaculation 
    • Ejaculation does completely happen between your legs, your brain is involved too.  When a critical level of nerve input from the verumontanum reaches the spinal cord, that triggers the ejaculatory response.  The pelvic floor muscles play a role here too in contracting which helps in the pushing out of the semen.  (This process is controlled by the sympathetic nervous system….think: s for shoot) Pro-tip: if you want to delay ejaculation, learn some relaxation pelvic floor exercises to use during sex. 

What’s going on between our ears when we orgasm?

  • During sex, the logical part of our brain (the lateral orbitofrontal cortex) shuts down.  This is the part of the brain that is responsible for reason, decision making, and value judgements.  Also, likely why we might not always make the best choices when we are having sex.  We are less likely to experience a decrease of fear and anxiety during this time.  
  • Oxytocin and vasopresin, the “cuddle hormones” are building up, and are released out of the hypothalamus at the point of orgasm with a rush of dopamine, the “the feel good hormone”.  
  • As we are revving up closer to orgasm, the mix of endorphins, oxytocin, and vasopressin, help to make us less sensitive to pain during sex (note to all you kink-folks out there).  So, the same areas in our brain that process pleasure ALSO PROCESS PAIN THERE!  
  • After we orgasm, the body releases serotonin, the happy hormones, which can also stimulate a sense to take a nap.  

Questions: 

  • What are some common problems men face during sex?  
  • What are some other questions you guys want to ask me?

Final take-aways: Erection is not needed for orgasm; ejaculation is not required for orgasm; ejaculation and orgasm are not required for a positive sexual experience.

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