Tag Archives: compromise

COL624: LoR: Unfriending

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss the topic of unfriending. Whether it be friends, family or “framily”, there are situations which may require a need to remove people from your lives. Listen in as the cubs share some advice on when, how and who should be unfriended.

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Landscape of Relationships: Unfriending

  • Top 8
  • Close Friends
  • Feed
  • Limited Feed
  • Unfollow 
  • Block

ParentsMyCounselor article – Healthy Relationships with Adult Children 

  • This comes from a Christian counseling website  
  • Look at this like a checklist to see if you have them 
  • Setting expectations of how you are to be treated is HUGE.  
  • Check out the boundaries podcast 
  • Think of boundaries like the rules of D&D

FriendsPsychology Today: 13 Essential Traits of Good Friends 

This is a great article on using yourself as a reference point to assess your friendships with others. (If we want honesty from others we have to make sure we are honest.)

  • Advice my Mom gave me growing up that I didn’t always take, “stick with the winners.”  I have adapted it to, “Stay close to the ones who know where they are headed.” I don’t like the winners/losers dichotomy, but it has the same idea. 
  • Like D&D, be mindful about who you party with. 

Friends and Family – Personal Excellence article – Unsupportive People 

  • Don’t go to the hardware store for bread. 
  • Find out where the hardware store is.
  • If I’m out of life, unless I have someone on my party who has regeneration….I need to get it from someone else.
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COL617: LoR: Struggle Bus

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. In this episode, the cubs take a ride on the struggle bus. Discussing conflict and conflict resolution, listen and learn along with the guys as they reveal the common pitfalls and potential solutions to this common problem.

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Landscape of Relationships: Struggle Bus

Four Horsemen 

  • Stonewalling
  • Criticism
  • Defensiveness
  • Contempt

Antidotes

  • Psychological Self-soothing [for Stonewalling]
  • Gentle Start Up [for Criticism]
  • Take Responsibility [for Defensiveness] – it’s okay to be wrong, make mistakes, own our limits, be vulnerable
  • Appreciation [for Contempt] – consider a ratio with 5 for 1 [5 appreciative thoughts for 1 contempt]

The Conflict BluePrint 

  • Current Conflicts
  • Attachment Injuries
  • Gridlock Issues 
    • Conflict is ongoing and recurring
    • 69% of conflicts are unsolvable
    • Utilize conversation/discussion to unearth the underlying source/cause

Resources:

The Marriage Minute – email newsletter signup site

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert – Amazon ordering info

Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love – Amazon ordering info

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COL482: Addiction / Cheating with Dr. Cisco

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Dr. Cisco. First, the cubs chat about Cisco’s current research project regarding opioid addiction. After this, the guys review a recent British article regarding a survey/“study” about gay men and cheating. What is cheating? Can you cheat while being in an open relationship?

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Dr. Cisco Salgado returns to discuss his recent work in opioid addiction studies and how much ‘weight’ we should give a study from earlier this year that most gay men cheat on their partner.

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