In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke of EAC Therapy and COL’s resident sex therapist. For this episode, the cubs acknowledge their thirst due to many states’ social distancing regulations during the COVID-19 pandemic. Because of this, we bring in the good doc to discuss the sexual needs during this crisis. We all have needs and need to find ways to address them safely.

Show Topic

COVID-19 isn’t going away. And now more than ever we’re facing challenges with having our sexual needs met. What’s a person to do?

This is an extended traumatic experience….which means that people are going to have traumatic reactions to this.  Here are some common traumatic reactions and ways to address them sexually:

IMPORTANT: Our reactions to this may be different therefore we may have different sexual libidos during this time (that is normal).

Overview:

• Trauma reactions and how to help 
  • Lack of predictability 
    • Keeping and maintaining a schedule 
  • Immobility
    • Date nights 
      • 24 Dates You Can Try at Home – Gottman Institute
    • The 36 Questions That Lead to Love – NewYork Times Article 
  • Numbing out 
    • Sex can be an escape….be aware 
    • Increased alcohol and drug use 
    • Mindful masturbation
      • The Pleasure Chest – Mindful Maturbation Collection
      • Mindful Masturbation for Better Sex – YouTube Video

• • Loss of time and time permanence 
    • Schedule time with people 
    • Scheduling sex 
  • Safety
    • Safe sex during COVID-19
    • Study suggests COVID-19 isn’t sexually transmitted – Gray Media Group Article
    • Sex in the Time of Coronavirus – Wall Street Journal Article
    • How Does Sexual Intimacy Change During a Pandemic – NBC News Article
    • What You Need to Know About Sex and COVID-19 – IPPF Article
  • Loss of Connection
    • Intimacy 
      • “Intimacy is knowing who you are and letting someone in on the secret”
    • Getting creative
      • Distance BDSM 
      • Distance toys 
        • 13 App-Controlled Sex Toys for Couples in Long Distance Relationships
• COVID-19 safe sex
  • Research 
• Sex needs are valid needs
  • Physical touch and skin hunger “Pickle tubs”
  • Five love languages-Britney Spears
    • 5 Love Languages as Britney Spears Lyrics – Elite Daily Article

The 5 Love Languages

• • • • Physical Touch: my loneliness is killing me
      • Words of Affirmation: I must confess, I still believe
      • Quality Time: When I’m not with you I lose my mind
      • Gift Giving: Give me a sign
      • Acts of Service: Hit me baby one more time
    • 5 Love Languages Quizzes 
• Suggestions
• • Communication and Love Maps – Gottman Love maps Apple app & Gootman Love Cards Google Play Store
  • Masturbation 
    • Mindful Masturbation for Better Sex -YouTube Video

• • Phone Sex 
  • Video sex
• Looking into the future 
  • Research is seeing a decrease in STI rates
    • Decrease access to testing sites
  • Re-entry 
    • Sexual risk taking 

Additional Resources: 

• Intimacy, Sex, and COVID-19 – Harvard Medical School Article
• Sex, Loves, and COVID-19: Tips on Staying Close – Mercury News Article
• Sex and Coronavirus: What to Know About Intimacy During the Pandemic – HuffPo Article
• Coronavirus and Sex: Q&A – NYTimes Article
• Sex and Relationships in the Time of COVID-19 – Kinsey Institute Article
• Why the Lack of Human Touch Can Be Difficult Amid Coronavirus – TIME Article
• How to Keep COVID-19 From Ruining Your Sex Life – NPR

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