In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss QPRs or Queer Platonic Relationships. QPRs are intimate relationships that are neither romantic nor sexual in nature. Listen in as Ed builds up the fundamentals of this different relationship dynamic and its origins and brings it up to date for modern audiences.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Queer Platonic Relationships

Landscape of Relationships returns. Queer platonic relationships are our focus this month when it comes to relationships. QPRs are committed intimate relationships which are neither romantic nor sexual in nature and that differ from close friendship by having the same structure and status as a romantic relationship. The concept originates in aromantic and asexual spaces in the LGBT community. The term has begun to also be used in polyamorous communities to help describe the complex relationships.  The term “queers” social norms for defining relationships, it isn’t a friendship nor is it a romantic relationship.

Asexual (Ace)

• “Sexual orientation where a person experiences little to no sexual attraction to anyone and/or does not experience desire for sexual contact” (aceandaros.com, 2021)

Aromantic (Aro)

• “Romantic orientation, which describes people whose experience of romance is disconnected from normative societal expectations, commonly due to experiencing little to no romantic attraction, but also due to feeling repulsed by romance, or being uninterested in romantic relationships.” (AUREA FAQ on Aromanticism.org, 2021).  

Allosexual 

• “Describes people who are not on the asexual spectrum. They can have any romantic orientation, including aromantic” (TAAAP.org, 2021).  

Alloromantic

• “Described people who are not on the aromantic spectrum. They have any sexual orientation, including asexual” (TAAAP.org, 2001).

Historically speaking , QPR has been described as an “ancient practice made new again”. 

• Boston Marriages – A Boston marriage was one in which two independent women chose to build a life and a household together, rather than marrying. 
• Romantic Friendships – Close but often times non-sexual relationship. Used primarily in historical contexts (e.g. Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens; Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed).

Zucchini 

• Term of endearment used to describe a queerplatonic partner.  
• Also, “squish” has been used to describe a non-romantic crush.

Amatonormativity (Elizabeth Brake)

• The idea that everyone needs to be in a romantic relationship 
• Hallmark movies 
• Laws surrounding marriage 
• Chosen families 

Other Resources

• Psychology Today 2021 Article – Queer Platonic Relationships New Term, Old Custom
• Queer Platonic Relationship Pride Flag
• David Schnarch – Passionate Marriage [book on Amazon.com]

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