Tag Archives: porn

Podcasts

COL710: LoR: Self-care

Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss self-care. From taking time for your personal needs to finding your stress levels minimize while out with friends, listen as the guys analyze the ins and outs of self-care. But is providing self-care selfish? Find out as Dr. Ed helps the guys learn more about it.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Self-care

What is self-care?

The National Institute in Mental Health says that “self-care means taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health. When it comes to your mental health, self-care can help you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy. Even small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact” (NIMH, December, 2022).

Examples of self-care 

  • Exercise 
  • Eating well and hydration 
  • Regular sleep 
  • Relaxing activity 
  • Goal setting (realistic goals, I mean)
  • Gratitude 
  • Practice acceptance and mindfulness 
  • Stay connected 

What isn’t here? 

  • Important question when it comes to self-care.  Am I practicing self-care or am I avoiding something?
  • Short term discomfort for long-term gain

What does it mean to practice self-care in relationships?

Differentiation of Self

  • One of the cornerstones of Bowen family systems theory, which states that families are an emotional system.  A person’s ability to manage the relationship between individualization and togetherness determines someone’s differentiation of self.  
  • Differentiated individuals are able to manage conflict without emotional reactivity, maintain their I-state, reach compromises; whereas, undifferentiated individuals tend to fuse with others or blend their emotional state with others, or their will exhibit emotional cutoff, which is where someone will manage their own emotional process by creating emotional and physical distance with someone.  

Social Self-care 

  • No person is an island and neither are you, ok?
  • Sometimes self-care is connecting with others and working on our relationships with others. 
  • Six Hours to a Better Relationship 

Final thoughts 

  • Reach healthy differentiation of self by identifying your own needs in conjunction with your relationship needs….AND recognize, accept, and validate the individual needs of the members of your relationships.  You will do yourself and everyone else a HUGE favor.  
  • “Self-care ain’t selfish” – Adoom 
Play

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS

Podcasts

COL707: LTAS: Fave Porn Tropes

Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About Sex. This time around, the cubs dust off their old BearFilms and Maximum Density tapes to discuss their favorite porn tropes. From the pizza boy to the naughty Santa, the cubs examine these classic and familiar fantasy cliches that keep us coming…err coming back for more. And, to add an additional twist, let’s put them all on a card and find out who shouts BINGO at the climax.

Show Topics

LTAS: Fave Porn Tropes

Let’s Talk About Sex returns with another installment. This time the hosts discuss how over 30+ years certain ‘tropes’ still live on in their fantasies and memories. Blow the dust off your VCR cartridges and fire up the way back machine, ’cause something just cum again and again and again. Will you? Plus there’s a little bingo game waiting to be played!

Trope: from today’s pop culture viewpoint, this is a recurring element or a frequently used plot device in a work of literature or art; considered common and known by many.Downloadable Card

Play

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS

Podcasts

COL705: WGO: July 2023

Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of July. As Summer heats up, the cubs get hot & bothered with concerts and home and work drama. It’s been quite the month for the guys, so get caught up with them.

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Collateral Damage
  • Damon: House(s) Drama / Announcement
  • Gary: P!NK and downtime

Feedback 

Twitter Followers:

  • @bearbeatzonline

Facebook Follows:                               

  • David Pereira
  • Pup Urso

Facebook Follows & Likes:

  • Kyle Henderson
  • Eero Tapio Tallinen
  • Korby Christopher
  • Ramón Pagan
  • Robert Ware
  • Babysuperx Supersuper
  • Scott Souza
  • Robert Pool
  • Luis Enrique Acevedo Zambrano
  • Clark Morehouse 
  • Sesar Cadavedo
  • James Berlin Jr
  • Gant Gregory
  • Jaxon Ronsonet
  • Vasudev
  • Wolf Duplessis
  • Alex Htx
  • Daniel Ings
  • Frank Olney
  • Teejay Grady
  • Jacques De Villiers
  • Hubert Carachi
  • B Dave Gonzalez
  • Cecil Oliver
  • Tim Rhoton

Patreon Updates

  • Shoutout to Daniel C who joined us 8/1/22 last year, happy one year anniversary!
  • Round of applause and belly rubs to David T. who joined us 7/10/18, congrats on supporting us for over five years!!
  • BIG BEAR CUB HUGS to our Patrons: 
    • Cubsters: Charles W., Daniel C., and Michael K.
    • Ubehrs: Dave T., Li, Michael Q, and Tim S.
    • plus our Buddies: Lloyd G. and Michael V!

Recent Shows

  • COL700: WGO: June ‘23
  • COL701: LTAS: Mpox 2023 Updates
  • COL702: LoR: Sex After 50
  • COL703: LTAF: State Fairs ’23 – Part 1
  • COL704: LTAF: State Fairs ’23 – Part 2

Tweet Tweet:

Links:

Play

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS

Podcasts

COL690: LTAS: Now That We’re Older

Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About Sex. This time around, the cubs show their age and reveal what has or hasn’t changed regarding sex. From growing pains to changing stigmas, the guys share their feelings about what is different for them from sex in their 20s to sex as they approach 50 and beyond.

Show Topic

LTAS: Now That We’re Older

As we’ve aged out of our 20s and 30s, how have things changed for us when it comes to sex? Are we falling in lock step with stereotypes? Or is this a natural occurrence? What does getting older mean in general when it comes to sexual activities?

Podcasts

COL688: LoR: Sexual Desire

Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss sexual desire. While not a usual LoR topic, it can be part of the conversation. Listen as Ed speaks on the complicated definition of sexual desire, where it comes from, and what impacts it in our day-to-day lives.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Sexual Desire

First, sexual desire is complicated. 

  • Is it an emotion? Yes
  • Is it a motivation? Yes
  • Is it a state of being? Yes
  • Is it required to have sex? Not necessarily

Sexual desire is the interest (or lack of interest) toward engaging in sexual activity.  This presents itself with thoughts, feelings, and fantasies.   Some people look at sexual desire existing on a spectrum from disgust to neutral to excited.

One way I have heard sexual desire described is akin to hunger.  And I like this analogy for a few reasons that we will discuss.  

Let’s go back to the idea of a smorgasbord….let’s imagine that there is not a Golden Corral that can hold the variety of sexual desire (Rule 34 of the Internet).  So when we talk about sexual desire, the limit does not seem to exist.  

What impacts sexual desire?

  • Biology/Evolution
    • Age can be a factor, Propagation of the species (sex as a reward); amygdala (emotional center) and hypothalamus (responsible for sexual arousal) Men’s desire is more based on visual cues when compared to women, cued interest “we don’t know why we desire something” v. uncued interest “has an origin story”; the “absolute territory” (Japanese zettai ryouiki), the band of skin between the bottom of the end of the skirt and the top of the socks.  Disclaimer: this is based on statistics and not all human behavior can be reduced to statistics.  If this isn’t your experience, it does not mean you are not valid.  
  • Medical
    • Low testosterone, heart disease, Cancer, physical pain, psychotropic medications
  • Relational
    • Relationship conflict, and sexual scripts 
  • Intergenerational
    • Abuse and religiosity and culture 
  • Psychological
    • Anxiety, Unhelpful body/sexual narratives, other sexual disorders
  • Social
    • Cultural sexual narratives and scripts 

“For most of Western Civilization low sexual desire has been a goal, not a problem.” – David Schnarch 

  • In a sex negative world, no wonder people are so confused about their sexual desires or lack thereof.  Remember the sexual smorgasbord idea?  If dominating cultural narratives created the smorgasbord, then there would only be a few options for a few people….the rest would be closed.

Resources:

 

Play

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS