In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About… This time around, the guys bare it all as they discuss being naked. From the awkwardness of the school gym to baring it all on social media, listen in as the guys discuss their hang ups and comfort about being nude. Have their opinions changed as they’ve aged? What do they think about it today vs when they were younger? And what of the potential for broader acceptance in society?
Show Topic
LTA… Nudity
Let’s Talk About series is back and this time we’re discussing birthday suits! That’s right, ’tis all about the skin we’re in. Do we have hang ups? Are we comfortable around others as we’ve aged in without clothes? What do we think about it today vs when we were younger? And what of the potential for broader acceptance in society? Let’s find out!
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss sexual desire. While not a usual LoR topic, it can be part of the conversation. Listen as Ed speaks on the complicated definition of sexual desire, where it comes from, and what impacts it in our day-to-day lives.
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Sexual Desire
First, sexual desire is complicated.
Is it an emotion? Yes
Is it a motivation? Yes
Is it a state of being? Yes
Is it required to have sex? Not necessarily
Sexual desire is the interest (or lack of interest) toward engaging in sexual activity. This presents itself with thoughts, feelings, and fantasies. Some people look at sexual desire existing on a spectrum from disgust to neutral to excited.
One way I have heard sexual desire described is akin to hunger. And I like this analogy for a few reasons that we will discuss.
Let’s go back to the idea of a smorgasbord….let’s imagine that there is not a Golden Corral that can hold the variety of sexual desire (Rule 34 of the Internet). So when we talk about sexual desire, the limit does not seem to exist.
What impacts sexual desire?
Biology/Evolution
Age can be a factor, Propagation of the species (sex as a reward); amygdala (emotional center) and hypothalamus (responsible for sexual arousal) Men’s desire is more based on visual cues when compared to women, cued interest “we don’t know why we desire something” v. uncued interest “has an origin story”; the “absolute territory” (Japanese zettai ryouiki), the band of skin between the bottom of the end of the skirt and the top of the socks. Disclaimer: this is based on statistics and not all human behavior can be reduced to statistics. If this isn’t your experience, it does not mean you are not valid.
Anxiety, Unhelpful body/sexual narratives, other sexual disorders
Social
Cultural sexual narratives and scripts
“For most of Western Civilization low sexual desire has been a goal, not a problem.” – David Schnarch
In a sex negative world, no wonder people are so confused about their sexual desires or lack thereof. Remember the sexual smorgasbord idea? If dominating cultural narratives created the smorgasbord, then there would only be a few options for a few people….the rest would be closed.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, we are joined by the incredibly handsome Hadrian McQuiag to discuss cruising. From bathrooms to arcades, we take a peek into the underhanded world.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About… This time around, the guys bare it all as they discuss being naked. From the awkwardness of the school gym to baring it all on social media, listen in as the guys discuss their hang ups and comfort about being nude. Have their opinions changed as they’ve aged? What do they think about it today vs when they were younger? And what of the potential for broader acceptance in society?
