Tag Archives: edward angelini-cooke

Podcasts

COL543: What’s Going On – February 2020

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In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of February. For the shortest month of the year, the cubs have been busy busy busy with friendly visitors, bear runs, and beer tours. Catch up with the guys as they share their goings-on during the month of love.

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff:  A lot of WoW, and a Visitor.
  • Damon: Work Woes & NAB Wows 
  • Gary: Busy busy busy

Feedback

Facebook Likes:

  • Joshua King
  • Larry Cotton
  • Phil Lowry
  • George Allington – Turner

Facebook Comment/Post:

  • Re: COL542: RIP GROWLr? – Michael Quinichett Lmt: How apropos: My account was suspended last night. I initially thought it was bc (just like C-list and Tumblr) of my massage business. Turns out a shitload of people also had their accounts temporarily suspended, most only for a couple hours. Mine was reinstated about 6 hours after what I’m calling “Growlr-gate.”

Instagram Followers: 

  • growlinggrooming

YouTube Comment:

  • Re: COL542: RIP GROWLr? – Berty Bertface: Yay, cubs in the house. 

Twitter Followers: 

  • @Knoxbear1
  • @YellowD14340752
  • @mooiy12
  • @eddiehcooke

Recent Shows

  • COL541: What’s Going On – January 2020
  • FB247-1: World Class Kisser! – Part One
  • FB247-2: World Class Kisser! – Part Two
  • COL542: RIP GROWLr?

Tweet Tweet:

https://twitter.com/LiamAngellXXX/status/1231680460494864386?s=20

https://twitter.com/chubbypupthorn/status/1230425215227682816

https://twitter.com/JakeTackett/status/1163449921036607489?s=20

Links:

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COL540: The Landscape of Relationships – Part 2

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In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Edward Angelini-Cooke for an in depth discussion on relationships. For this second part, the guys delve into boundaries and rules. With Edward’s help, the cubs discuss the similarities and differences between these two terms, how they relate to each person and those involved in the relationship, and also discord on the potential minefield of expectations. How do we set our boundaries? Are expectations a good or a bad thing? What’s on your relationship checklist? The guys hash out these questions and more.

Show Topic

The Landscape of Relationships – Boundaries and Rules

Boundaries (“I Will/I Won’t”) v. Rules/Agreements/Expectations (“You/We Won’t”)

  • debated topic within relationship communities 
  • Is this a rule or a boundary?
    • Boundary as skin metaphor (protects us from bacteria, allows the good stuff in and sweats the bad stuff out, elastic with limitations [you can break skin], boundaries are about me
    • Rules are about us and you, jealousy, usually some form of control 
  • Pros and Cons of Rules 
    • Pros:
      • Contracts 
      • Establishing or Re-establishing solid foundation of connection and intimacy
      • Conditional…not unilateral or controlling
      • Spoken
    • Cons:
      • Can be Controlling
      • Can be rigid and unhealthy
      • Can be Set up to be broken 
      • Unspoken
  • Agreements are similar to the idea of a relationship contract or vows 
  • Expectations are resentments waiting to happen

Kinds of Personal Boundaries 

  • Emotional 
    • Example: Don’t go to the hardware store for bread
  • Physical
    • Examples: allergies, personal bubble, DON’T COME INTO MY ROOM, MOM!!!!
  • Time
    • Examples: don’t make plans within 24 hours, I have office hours on Tuesdays
  • Sexual
    • Examples: Consent, Refer to checklist
  • Intellectual 
    • Examples: Agree to disagree, awareness of who and what you are talking about 
  • Material 
    • Examples: Don’t lend out money, I need that sling back by Friday etc

Open-Relationship Checklist 

  • Fill this out separately for you, not your partner 
    • Find out your boundaries first THEN discuss your partner’s THEN discuss how they overlap or don’t overlap

Review:

  • Communication 
  • Boundaries are like skin 
  • You Don’t Have to Be In an Open Relationship to Discuss Boundaries!!!!!

Books:

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COL535: The Santa Fantasy

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In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined by Edward Angelini-Cooke for a holi-gay discussion about Santa Claus and our fascination with the jolly ol’elf. From dominance to sexualizing, we chat about the fantasy of Father Christmas giving us goodies from his sack.

Show Topic

The Santa Fantasy – fetish, role play, and then some

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Lyrics to Santa Claus is Coming to Town 

You better watch out

You better not cry

Better not pout

I’m telling you why

Santa Claus is coming (cumming…play on words) to town

He’s making a list

And checking it twice;

Gonna find out 

Who’s naughty and nice (I mean….c’mon)

Santa Claus is coming to town

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COL532: The Landscape of Relationships

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In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined by previous guest Edward Angelini-Cooke for an in depth discussion on relationships. Based on some of Edward’s research for his doctoral dissertation, the cubs breakdown some of the various dynamics in the vast landscape of relationships. From monogamy to polycules, listen as the cubs give some insight to the “It’s Complicated” relationship statuses and more.

Show Topic

The Landscape of Relationships

    • Relationship Anarchy – belief that relationships should not be bound by rules aside from what the people involved mutually agree upon
    • Closed Relationships – relationships that limits sexual and romantic to strictly the parties involved in the relationship
      • Monogamy – a two-person relationship in which an individual has only one partner during their lifetime—alternately, only one partner at any one time (Serial Monogamy)
        • Infidelity – violation of a couple’s assumed or stated contract regarding emotional and/or sexual exclusivity (synonyms include: cheating, straying, adultery (when married), being unfaithful, or having an affair)
      • Polyfidelity – a relationship structure where all members are considered equal partners and agree to restrict sexual activity to only other members of the group [considered both closed and open at the same time]
    • Open Relationships – a relationship that is non-monogamous; generally indicates a relationship where there is a primary relationship between two partners, who agree to at least the possibility of other people
      • Monogamish – In a July 20, 2011 column, Dan Savage coined the term, applying it to his own relationship with his partner; describing couples who are “mostly” but not 100% monogamous; such couples have an understanding that allows for some amount of sexual activity outside the relationship
      • Poly
        • Polyamory – the practice of, or desire for, relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved; described as “consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy”
        • Polygamy – the practice of marrying multiple spouses
          • Polygyny – most common/accepted form of polygamy; marriage of a man with several women
          • Polyandry – marriage in which a woman takes two or more husbands at the same time
    • Bigamy – In cultures where monogamy is mandated, bigamy is the act of entering into a marriage with one person while still legally married to another
      • Swinging – [sometimes called wife swapping, husband swapping, or partner swapping] sexual activity in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship engage in such activities with others as a recreational or social activity

Resources 

Books:

Podcasts 

  • Loving Without Boundaries 
  • Polamory Weekly 
  • Touch of Flavor [kink centric]
  • Non-monogamy Help
  • Savage Lovecast

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COL498: BEAR: Being a Virgin

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In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, North American Bear Weekend is just around the corner! So, it’s time for another Bear Experience Action Readiness show! For this BEAR, the cubs prepare you for your maiden voyage to your first bear event or run. The guys share their first time experiences and give some tips to navigate the choppy bear seas.

Show Topic

Anon Porn and Sexuality Research Survey – by Edward Angelini-Cooke from COL441: The Decline of Gay Bars

Bear Experience Action Readiness: Being a Virgin

We discuss what to expect as a virgin at a bear event/run and what our personal experiences were like.

Audience Questions/Feedback:

  • Baron W.: My first big event was GLLA, and I really didn’t know what to expect! It was exciting yet terrifying all at once. I guess what I wish I had known is that people are (usually) very warm and welcoming and if you put yourself out there you’ll usually find a new friend or five!
  • Joshua P. [Skeleton Crew]: Hmmm…I have never been to an event. From what I see and hear, they are very cliquey, and a fear I have is I would end up spending the time mostly by myself, or just with the people I attend with (which seems to defeat the purpose of attending these events).

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