In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys get together after some time away to discuss the recent changes to terms of service of the Growlr app. With social media data collection being a hot topic, Growlr is the next app to fall under scrutiny after changes were made to their TOS. What does this mean for the app? Has their recent acquisition by a larger corporation caused larger sweeping changes? Will there be another mass exodus as there was with Tumblr?
Show Topic
RIP GROWLr? – we ask the question “Has the bear community brought about the end of its own app?”
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Edward Angelini-Cooke for an in depth discussion on relationships. For this second part, the guys delve into boundaries and rules. With Edward’s help, the cubs discuss the similarities and differences between these two terms, how they relate to each person and those involved in the relationship, and also discord on the potential minefield of expectations. How do we set our boundaries? Are expectations a good or a bad thing? What’s on your relationship checklist? The guys hash out these questions and more.
Show Topic
The Landscape of Relationships – Boundaries and Rules
Boundaries (“I Will/I Won’t”) v. Rules/Agreements/Expectations (“You/We Won’t”)
debated topic within relationship communities
Is this a rule or a boundary?
Boundary as skin metaphor (protects us from bacteria, allows the good stuff in and sweats the bad stuff out, elastic with limitations [you can break skin], boundaries are about me
Rules are about us and you, jealousy, usually some form of control
Pros and Cons of Rules
Pros:
Contracts
Establishing or Re-establishing solid foundation of connection and intimacy
Conditional…not unilateral or controlling
Spoken
Cons:
Can be Controlling
Can be rigid and unhealthy
Can be Set up to be broken
Unspoken
Agreements are similar to the idea of a relationship contract or vows
Expectations are resentments waiting to happen
Kinds of Personal Boundaries
Emotional
Example: Don’t go to the hardware store for bread
Physical
Examples: allergies, personal bubble, DON’T COME INTO MY ROOM, MOM!!!!
Time
Examples: don’t make plans within 24 hours, I have office hours on Tuesdays
Sexual
Examples: Consent, Refer to checklist
Intellectual
Examples: Agree to disagree, awareness of who and what you are talking about
Material
Examples: Don’t lend out money, I need that sling back by Friday etc
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys get together after some time away to discuss the recent changes to terms of service of the Growlr app. With social media data collection being a hot topic, Growlr is the next app to fall under scrutiny after changes were made to their TOS. What does this mean for the app? Has their recent acquisition by a larger corporation caused larger sweeping changes? Will there be another mass exodus as there was with Tumblr?
