Tag Archives: sleep

COL710: LoR: Self-care

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss self-care. From taking time for your personal needs to finding your stress levels minimize while out with friends, listen as the guys analyze the ins and outs of self-care. But is providing self-care selfish? Find out as Dr. Ed helps the guys learn more about it.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Self-care

What is self-care?

The National Institute in Mental Health says that “self-care means taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health. When it comes to your mental health, self-care can help you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy. Even small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact” (NIMH, December, 2022).

Examples of self-care 

  • Exercise 
  • Eating well and hydration 
  • Regular sleep 
  • Relaxing activity 
  • Goal setting (realistic goals, I mean)
  • Gratitude 
  • Practice acceptance and mindfulness 
  • Stay connected 

What isn’t here? 

  • Important question when it comes to self-care.  Am I practicing self-care or am I avoiding something?
  • Short term discomfort for long-term gain

What does it mean to practice self-care in relationships?

Differentiation of Self

  • One of the cornerstones of Bowen family systems theory, which states that families are an emotional system.  A person’s ability to manage the relationship between individualization and togetherness determines someone’s differentiation of self.  
  • Differentiated individuals are able to manage conflict without emotional reactivity, maintain their I-state, reach compromises; whereas, undifferentiated individuals tend to fuse with others or blend their emotional state with others, or their will exhibit emotional cutoff, which is where someone will manage their own emotional process by creating emotional and physical distance with someone.  

Social Self-care 

  • No person is an island and neither are you, ok?
  • Sometimes self-care is connecting with others and working on our relationships with others. 
  • Six Hours to a Better Relationship 

Final thoughts 

  • Reach healthy differentiation of self by identifying your own needs in conjunction with your relationship needs….AND recognize, accept, and validate the individual needs of the members of your relationships.  You will do yourself and everyone else a HUGE favor.  
  • “Self-care ain’t selfish” – Adoom 
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COL698: LTA… CPAPs, finally!

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About… This time around, the guys finally get around to talking about something that has plagued bear runs for years: CPAPs! With two of the co-hosts having them, the cubs discuss their challenges and successes with their usage. From restful sleep to increased energy and…libido, listen in as the guys share their experiences.

Show Topic

LTA… CPAPs, finally!

As we become cubs of a certain age, our bodies also change and along comes one of the most ubiquitous accessories in the bear community! Do you have a CPAP or BiPAP? Have you been avoiding getting tested for one? Find out what the hosts think of their experiences as recent-ish newcomers to the scene.

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COL681: WGO: January 2023

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of January. As winter chills the air, the guys warm you up with their monthly shenanigans. From new podcasts to new jobs they didn’t want, slide along with the cubs through another month.

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Forced Focus
  • Damon: New Podcast / Home Repairs
  • Gary: Ok-yeah, coulda been bettah

Feedback 

Twitter Followers

  • @Nerdy_Bear90
  • @RoelRisque
  • @CubsterDan
  • @SirRafalot
  • @jaf97f
  • @bigboyproject1
  • @czechbears
  • @theurbanbear

Facebook Follows:                               

  • World Bear Weekend
  • Movie Bears Podcast
  • Hood Geek
  • HiBearNation

Facebook Follows & Likes:

  • Ricky Rhein
  • Peter Chan
  • Jay Hines
  • Joshua Michael Findlay
  • Pedro Luis Gil Sol
  • Boyan Mitevski
  • Libyan Libico
  • Tom Webb
  • Ozzito Ocarn
  • Stephen Flanigan
  • Sun Leonard
  • Benjamin Baker
  • Thierry Soriano
  • Eric Brown Jr.
  • Edward Anders
  • Yaque Moctar
  • Marwan Al-helwani
  • Terry DA Silva
  • Michael Bolima
  • Stuart Dunlap
  • Luis Cyfere
  • خليو مركس [Cello Marks in Arabic]
  • Landon Shonuff-is Hall
  • Richard Lutz
  • Arimateia Monteiro
  • Hughes Skipper
  • Anwarkoto
  • Jarrett Bliz
  • Bear Skn

Email:

Submission from BuilTABear:

Hey Guys! I am listening to your podcast COL514: Trans Bear Listener. 

First — GOOD JOB! Thank you for bringing up the topic of trans guys! Please note — not all trans guys are the same or have the same needs, critiques or sensitivities. MANY (not all) guys who are earlier in the process (first 5 years) can be SUPER SENSITIVE about just about everything and often have NO idea they are being that way.  I know it’s not politically correct to say that – but it’s the painful truth. After a handful of years living life passing as a cis man we learn to understand the whole world is not out to make us all miserable or be disrespectful to us. ugh. Some guys can really be hard work. Just like any other community, there are some cool guys and some really ODD guys.  Mileage may vary :-0   

I thought I’d share some of my thoughts about what your email guest had to say: 

  • FEMALE genitalia = In my general experience I agree, we usually prefer words like birth born parts, genetic bits, front business, ANYTHING but being reminded about the emotionally painful word “female” when you are talking about a trans guy. Testosterone makes some pretty significant changes to it and it’s not “standard issue female parts” after a short while anyhow. 
  • JUNK = agree, just ask the guy what he wants his junk called (don’t offer options – just ask) 
  • Bottom Surgery = not being attracted to someone who has had bottom surgery. 

Again, those who HAVE HAD bottom surgery are often super sensitive about rejection (as might be expected!). There are some trans guys who have had bottom surgery realizing folks (including other trans guys) are NOT into them BECAUSE of the lower surgery choice. VERY ouchie. Very VERY ouchie (I’d imagine). That’s a lot of work mentally, surgery and money to go through to realize you just put yourself into a VERY narrow date scene.  I know of two trans men who committed suicide because of this topic. Saying I’d never have sex with a trans guy who has had bottom surgery is simply unnecessary and rude. It’s like saying “i’d never have sex with a guy with a small penis”  — you might think it in your mind and maybe have a general desire for guys 6” or more, but going around admitting you’re a size queen is not pretty. Hope this helps!

Kindly, BuilTABear

Patreon Updates

  • Happy One Year Anniversary to Uber patron Tim on 1/15 
  • Happy Upcoming 4 Year Anniversary to Ubehr patron Li on 1/31 
  • BIG BEAR CUB HUGS to our Patrons: 
    • Cubsters: Charles W., Daniel C., and Michael K.
    • Ubehrs: Dave T., Li, Michael Q, and Tim S.
    • plus our Buddies: Lloyd G., Michael V., and Oan R.!

Recent Shows

  • COL677: WGO: December 2022
  • COL678: LTAF: New Year, New Dishes
  • COL679: 15 Years and Counting
  • COL680: LoR: Parasocial Interactions

Tweet Tweet:

Each of us find and share something on Twitter that we link to.

Links:

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COL674: WGO: November 2022

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of November. For the month of turkey and thanks, the cubs catch you up on their work woes, travel goes, and D&D foes. With winter on the horizon, listen as the guys share their 11th month goings-on.

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Cerebral D&D; Different Work
  • Damon: Thanksgiving with the Family / CMC “Family”
  • Gary: A Half Month and Hell Week

Feedback 

Twitter Followers

  • @justabearinsp
  • @bearbithepoolsd
  • @BranhamMato
  • @WXoDPpXEhANTX5O
  • @IvanVaslenko
  • @HotChubbieBR
  • @jeremiah37col
  • @DiegoRo66142365
  • @6DABGvpJnolubJO
  • @DavidE93063491

Facebook Follows & Likes:

  • Xavier Champion
  • Meti Z Gashi
  • Ismarteixeira Mendonça
  • Robert Morin
  • MD Sazid MD Sazid
  • Rodriguez Arthur
  • Timothy Tarr
  • Bartol Seregni
  • Carlos Gonza
  • Robert Andy Wilcox
  • Lee Savoy
  • Henry Stanley
  • John Anthony Mentiey
  • Kochi Kib
  • Miltan John
  • Paul Thompson
  • Austin S Smith
  • Po Cilia

Vimeo:

Patreon Updates

  • Happy Three Year Anniversary to our Buddy level Patron, Lloyd who joined us November 3rd, 2019!
  • BIG BEAR CUB HUGS to our Patrons: 
    • Cubsters: Charles W., Daniel C., and Michael K.
    • Ubehrs: Dave T., Li, Michael Q, and Tim S.
    • plus our Buddies: Lloyd G., Michael V., and Oan R.!

Recent Shows

  • COL670: WGO: October 2022
  • COL671: LTAK: Drummer Magazine Returns
  • COL672: OTR: World Bear Weekend 2022
  • COL673: LoR: Smörgåsbord

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Links:

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COL622: LTAS: Horror Stories

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another installment of Let’s Talk About Sex. This time around, the cubs (sans Jeff) get into the spooky season with some sex horror stories. From bathrooms to bathhouses, the guys share their bad hookups while also giving advice on safer consensual practices to hopefully soften the blow of your next sex slip up.

Show Topic

Lets Talk About Sex: Horror Stories

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