Tag Archives: parents

COL624: LoR: Unfriending

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss the topic of unfriending. Whether it be friends, family or “framily”, there are situations which may require a need to remove people from your lives. Listen in as the cubs share some advice on when, how and who should be unfriended.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Unfriending

  • Top 8
  • Close Friends
  • Feed
  • Limited Feed
  • Unfollow 
  • Block

ParentsMyCounselor article – Healthy Relationships with Adult Children 

  • This comes from a Christian counseling website  
  • Look at this like a checklist to see if you have them 
  • Setting expectations of how you are to be treated is HUGE.  
  • Check out the boundaries podcast 
  • Think of boundaries like the rules of D&D

FriendsPsychology Today: 13 Essential Traits of Good Friends 

This is a great article on using yourself as a reference point to assess your friendships with others. (If we want honesty from others we have to make sure we are honest.)

  • Advice my Mom gave me growing up that I didn’t always take, “stick with the winners.”  I have adapted it to, “Stay close to the ones who know where they are headed.” I don’t like the winners/losers dichotomy, but it has the same idea. 
  • Like D&D, be mindful about who you party with. 

Friends and Family – Personal Excellence article – Unsupportive People 

  • Don’t go to the hardware store for bread. 
  • Find out where the hardware store is.
  • If I’m out of life, unless I have someone on my party who has regeneration….I need to get it from someone else.
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COL544: The Return of Bathhouses?

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys make a splish-splash as they talk about bathhouses. With decades old laws in San Francisco soon to be removed, the cubs discuss the relevance of bathhouses and whether there is still a necessity for them in today’s modern culture, especially with apps and PrEP.

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The Return of Bathhouses? – San Francisco is considering making bathhouses legal once again, a quarter century later. We’ve come a long way from the height of the AIDS epidemic when they were outlawed in 1984. Has PrEP created this turning point for MSM? 

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COL540: The Landscape of Relationships – Part 2

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Edward Angelini-Cooke for an in depth discussion on relationships. For this second part, the guys delve into boundaries and rules. With Edward’s help, the cubs discuss the similarities and differences between these two terms, how they relate to each person and those involved in the relationship, and also discord on the potential minefield of expectations. How do we set our boundaries? Are expectations a good or a bad thing? What’s on your relationship checklist? The guys hash out these questions and more.

Show Topic

The Landscape of Relationships – Boundaries and Rules

Boundaries (“I Will/I Won’t”) v. Rules/Agreements/Expectations (“You/We Won’t”)

  • debated topic within relationship communities 
  • Is this a rule or a boundary?
    • Boundary as skin metaphor (protects us from bacteria, allows the good stuff in and sweats the bad stuff out, elastic with limitations [you can break skin], boundaries are about me
    • Rules are about us and you, jealousy, usually some form of control 
  • Pros and Cons of Rules 
    • Pros:
      • Contracts 
      • Establishing or Re-establishing solid foundation of connection and intimacy
      • Conditional…not unilateral or controlling
      • Spoken
    • Cons:
      • Can be Controlling
      • Can be rigid and unhealthy
      • Can be Set up to be broken 
      • Unspoken
  • Agreements are similar to the idea of a relationship contract or vows 
  • Expectations are resentments waiting to happen

Kinds of Personal Boundaries 

  • Emotional 
    • Example: Don’t go to the hardware store for bread
  • Physical
    • Examples: allergies, personal bubble, DON’T COME INTO MY ROOM, MOM!!!!
  • Time
    • Examples: don’t make plans within 24 hours, I have office hours on Tuesdays
  • Sexual
    • Examples: Consent, Refer to checklist
  • Intellectual 
    • Examples: Agree to disagree, awareness of who and what you are talking about 
  • Material 
    • Examples: Don’t lend out money, I need that sling back by Friday etc

Open-Relationship Checklist 

  • Fill this out separately for you, not your partner 
    • Find out your boundaries first THEN discuss your partner’s THEN discuss how they overlap or don’t overlap

Review:

  • Communication 
  • Boundaries are like skin 
  • You Don’t Have to Be In an Open Relationship to Discuss Boundaries!!!!!

Books:

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COL516: LTAS: What Porn Taught Us – Part One

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another Let’s Talk About Sex. In this multi-part series, the cubs are joined by sex-pert extraordinaire Hadrian to discuss what porn has taught us. For part one, the guys discuss their first access to porn from dirty magazines and VHS tapes to the burgeoning dial-up images and stories on the internet. How did these introductions into the spank bank of their youths change their minds about real sex? What did this do to their brains?

Show Topic

Let’s Talk About Sex Series: What Porn Taught Us – Part One

  • What has porn do to our brains and hormones so far?

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COL488: What’s Going On – November 2018

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our monthly catch-up show! Listen in as the cubs talk about how their November went and also check in our recent likes and follows across social media. From surprise birthday dinners to turkey day shenanigans, the guys give you some of the good and not-so-good of what has been happening with them recently.

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Anniversary, a Date, Allied Races, and Loss
  • Damon: Retreat, Turkey and Spades
  • Gary: Surprise Birthday Dinner, Movies, Job Interview, Thanksgiving with Family

Feedback

Facebook Likes:

  • Hilbert Floyd

Instagram Followers:

  • mikeyk0412
  • shogunyanwolf78
  • sparkicub
  • ejf2005
  • camtubbs

YouTube Subscribers:

  • Grey
  • Ridouan Roukbane
  • mohammedfiraek

YouTube Comment:

  • Re: COL487: LTAS: Our DL Experiences – oscar orozco orejel: Oh my gods, ok what keeps happening with me is thst when I used to live in a richer neighborhood for school and have daddies come over to my place, they would start talking about thier wives or girlfriends immediately after I made them cum. Like, I became thier therapist. Every dam time!!!

Tumblr Followers:

  • hypercon
  • phatcubb95
  • stevenlopez88
  • tylinco87
  • woulf-spirit
  • adore-bbw-03
  • berend3
  • wingedbouquetnightfestvawelra198
  • knamprikc
  • clemmelon
  • socollectionwolfus
  • frankderby
  • cat5sprinkles
  • universallycollectivephilosopher
  • somuchsploosh
  • raphmumu
  • dillon9733
  • ilovegaybears
  • ryeshector
  • llk78
  • gingercubnc
  • cooldombear
  • osokirage38

Tumblr Messages:

  • Curvesandcrevices: Hey COL Hosts! I wanted to let you know how much I am appreciating the new format, now that I have listened to a few episodes. I thought I would really miss the What’s Going On and Tumblr segments each week, but it’s been really great the way you’ve changed it. I  think the focus on the guests or topic on the shows is perfect, and the catchup show being monthly and without a topic gives it much more room to be its own thing. Change is hard, but done right, is so worthwhile. Always appreciate your efforts; keep it up! /Chris

Twitter Followers:

  • @20Jhb
  • @BadeckMarcel
  • @Yudiria11
  • @llk7896
  • @Salvo43613961
  • @hbcutie71

Recent Shows

  • We took a week off
  • COL486: Military Veteran Bears
  • COL487: LTAS: Our DL Experiences

I’ll Tumbl For Ya:

Links:

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