Tag Archives: identity

COL588: What’s Going On – January 2021

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of January. This month, the guys talk about their roleplaying activities during the first month of 2021 (say what?!?). From political transitions to vaccinations, the cubs celebrate all things new in the new year.

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff:  Lack of Motivation except for WoW
  • Damon: Some Time Off/D&D Machine  
  • Gary:  One Month into 2021

Feedback 

Instagram Followers

  • funktryboy

Instagram Comments

  • @eactherapyllc mentioned you in a comment: Had the great pleasure of speaking with @cubsoutloud about “Authenticity”. Stay tuned for more information! #authenticty #brenebrown #therapy #vulnerability #psychotherapy #courage #empathy #compassion
  • @acruz197421 commented: Wishing you all and your families a Merry Christmas as well as a joyous New Year.

YouTube Subscribers:

  • Ju Glar

YouTube Comment:

  • COL587: Happy 13th!  
    • By TheNaishproductions: Age has been kind to you three. Woof.
    • By dindin mooshi: Gary’s wig was serving ABBA like dancing queen.
  • COL586: What is. . . Authenticity? 
    • By Berty Bertface: Great show again guys. Being authnetic is the fastest way to know who your people are and those that aren’t. Not everyone has to like you and not everyone will. People pleasing only attracts users. This in no way advocates being horrible to anyone, just be open, honest, and extrememly mindful of own heart and who you choose to give it to.
    • By dindin mooshi: I have to say i rolled my eyes when i read the title of this episode but i’m glad i watched, i disagree on some points on the concept of authenticity based on the definition mentioned because it sounded like “in a perfect world” type of a statement, and I don’t believe saying it’s a “choice” is fare because then other factors come to play like age, time and social status, nonetheless it’s an interesting topic, and i like it when ED is around. P.S. Garry laughs like Nicki Minaj, it’s giving very much roman revenge, and the answer is YES to that question Garry
  • COL585: ATNS: LGBTQ Being Messy 
    • By Berty Bertface: It’s a real shame that the there are adults who continuously refuse to think rationally and with compassion until it’s too late. And they’re not only rolling the dice for themselves but every single person they are in close proximity to. Selfish is as selfish does i guess? Hang in there guys the vaccine is coming, sadly only for COVID and not for stupidity.

Twitter Followers

  • @elikadeo
  • @novinhoouai
  • @00tieTeleSnaps
  • @Bear84Chocolate
  • @MichaelWest1972
  • @Mudcub
  • @rt2305

Recent Shows

  • COL583: WGO – December 2020 
  • COL584: 2020 Year in Review
  • COL585: ATNS: LGBTQ Being Messy
  • COL586: What is. . . Authenticity?
  • COL587: 13 Years

Tweet Tweet:

https://twitter.com/FieryBiscuts/status/1348305777719717888?s=20

https://twitter.com/wolf_part/status/1351437714168573952

https://twitter.com/gayblackvet/status/1353423440577929217

Links:

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COL580: LTAS: Sides

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, Let’s Talk About Sex!  The guys are joined by resident Sex Therapist Edward Angelini-Cooke to discuss “sides”. You know of tops, bottoms, and versatiles; but do you know about sides? Listen in as the cubs define this role in the MSM community and what it means in the sexual spectrum.

Show Topic

Sides 

  • Definition?

Joe Kort developed the term in 2013 after not engaging in anal intercourse and feeling frustrated answering the “top or bottom” question.  “Can I be a side?”

A side is typically a man who has sex with another man (MSM) who does not engage in anal intercourse or penetration as it is not part of their erotic orientation.  Erotic orientation reflects your sexual fantasies, desires, and sexual behaviors.  

Self-labels (labels used to describe anal sex behaviors….or does it):

  • Top 
  • Bottom 
  • Versatile 
    • What if you don’t fit into any of those groups?  shame…guilt….FOMO…et al. 
  • Sides 

Articles:

Videos: Barry Birkholz

Book: Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment 

Podcast: Smart Sex, Smart Love: Episode 50 Side Guys

  • Awareness?
    • Side Guys Facebook Group  (currently 323 members)
    • Many different presentations of sides 
    • Sex is not just penetration 
    • Navigating conversations about being a “side” 
    • Inclusive language verse exclusive language 
  • Acceptance?

Backlash from gay community…

  • Interest?
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COL566: Aging Cubs

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs are getting OLD! With Jeff’s 40th birthday coming soon, all of the COL hosts will be 40 and up. So, if they are getting old, can they really call themselves “cubs” anymore? Listen in as the guys reminisce on their aged experiences and discuss the good and bad about getting older in the LGBTQ+ community.

Show Topic

Cubs at Any Age?

  • Definitions vs Labels
  • Loneliness with Aging
  • Health
  • Ageism

Satisfying Mature Gay Sexuality

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COL544: The Return of Bathhouses?

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys make a splish-splash as they talk about bathhouses. With decades old laws in San Francisco soon to be removed, the cubs discuss the relevance of bathhouses and whether there is still a necessity for them in today’s modern culture, especially with apps and PrEP.

Show Topic

The Return of Bathhouses? – San Francisco is considering making bathhouses legal once again, a quarter century later. We’ve come a long way from the height of the AIDS epidemic when they were outlawed in 1984. Has PrEP created this turning point for MSM? 

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COL514: Trans Bear Listener

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys review some recent feedback from one of their newest audience members. This trans bear listener addresses some concerns after reviewing some of our past episodes and the comments we made. As Pride Month comes to a close, listen as the guys discuss these concerns and discuss their growth as they try to become allies to the transgender community.

Show Topic

Trans Bear Listener – we talk about an email we received earlier this summer, how we feel when it comes to being an ally to trans individuals, and owning where we are today.

Hello,

New listener here, and I’d like to start off by saying sorry if this message is kinda long and rambling, I’m sure I’m mostly gonna stream of consciousness write it.

I listened to all your most recent episodes that are accessable via Google Podcasts; then I thought I should Google your podcast + Transgender, because I’ve had a couple experiences of enjoying a Thing ™️, only to find out that the people that produce it have said some really offensive stuff about trans folks. So I happy to discover that you had some episodes tagged as transgender on your site, so I could listen and get the tea. I listened to a few of them, but then for some reason your website stopped playing them, unclear if it was my phone or your site, or what, but I think I heard all the important bits.

I don’t want this to come across as a dressing down or anything like that, I really just want to educate. Mostly I wanna call back to some stuff I heard in COL388: Entourage Feedback, and COL474/475: Bear World Weekend, as well as share some of my own stories.

Most of what you guys said in 388 was on the better side of things I’ve heard, but one of the things that stood out to me was the use of the term “female genitalia”, obviously I don’t speak for all of the trans community, but one thing that holds true for me, and most trans people I know would prefer if you didn’t say things like that. To put it in the slogan-y terms, “it’s not female genitalia, I’m a man and it’s mine”, a better way to talk about it would be someone who has not had surgery, or someone with their original parts. And like tips and hints for guys who are interested in trans guys, even though you guys basically said you aren’t, just ask what he wants his junk called; obviously there’s like the most famous trans man  porn star who calls himself “a man with a pussy” but I know if you use that term with me it’s gonna be an instant turn off, I don’t want feminine terms for myself, it instantly makes me feel unsexy, but some trans guys will be totally fine with it, so best just to all whoever you’re with.

The other thing that stuck out to me in that episode was someone, sorry I don’t recall who, said they couldn’t even picture playing with a trans guy who had had bottom surgery, even if they were attracted to him, and that personally I don’t get. I haven’t had surgery, I don’t ever want to force anyone to have sex with me who doesn’t want to, and like as long as someone doesn’t go out of their way to be a fuck-stick, to call me disgusting or tell me that I’m not allowed in gay spaces or anything like that, it’s ok with me that someone may not be interested because if the equipment I’ve got. But if someone would have sex with the exact same cis dude but wouldn’t with that guys who has had bottom surgery I’m not understanding, since there are definitely trans guys that you can’t tell at all, at least until they cum.

In the episodes 474/475 it was neat to hear about the gender neutral contests, it sounded like it would also be acceptable for a trans man to compete in the Mr. Best contest, but I wanted to verify because having Cub be gender neutral is great, but the idea of mandating that trans men couldn’t compete in Mr. Bear or trans women couldn’t compete in Ms. Bear sounds bad. But also that’s not what it sounded like was happening, it just sounded like the trans man happened to be competing for Cub not that he wasn’t allowed to compete for Mr. Bear.

Anyhow, I was wondering if you’d ever thought about/sought out a trans bear to have as a guest on your show to talk about any of that?

Also in episode 388 it got brought up how important cock is to some of you. Again, that’s fine, so long as someone isn’t a total asshole to me I’m not gonna be upset over that being the case but I do have some interesting stories to tell over that. I’m a big big bear chub, or rather should probably say a big chubby pocket bear, pretty hairy, bearded, 5’7, over 300 pounds. So I know the types of guys I attract (and the types I’m into) but quite a few times I’ve had people who’ve thought they were like that and then realized when they met me, “oh having a cock isn’t nearly as important as I might have thought it was.” That’s happened many times on growlr, and Tumblr (R.I.P.) but more interestingly has happened in the midst of a hook up quite a few times. I would be playing with a hot bear who is definitely into me, but his husband/boyfriend/partner wouldn’t really be interested due to me being trans, but then in middle of fucking me he’d like shout to the other room “hon, you gotta come try this!” or boyfriend would lean in to check in on us and change his tune in being interested real quick. So again, no shade if it’s not your thing, but sometimes stuff can surprise people when they come face to face with a situation.

Cheers, 

Trans Bear

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