Tag Archives: intimacy

General

COL661: LoR: Queer Platonic Relationships

Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss QPRs or Queer Platonic Relationships. QPRs are intimate relationships that are neither romantic nor sexual in nature. Listen in as Ed builds up the fundamentals of this different relationship dynamic and its origins and brings it up to date for modern audiences.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Queer Platonic Relationships

Landscape of Relationships returns. Queer platonic relationships are our focus this month when it comes to relationships. QPRs are committed intimate relationships which are neither romantic nor sexual in nature and that differ from close friendship by having the same structure and status as a romantic relationship. The concept originates in aromantic and asexual spaces in the LGBT community. The term has begun to also be used in polyamorous communities to help describe the complex relationships.  The term “queers” social norms for defining relationships, it isn’t a friendship nor is it a romantic relationship.

Asexual (Ace)

  • “Sexual orientation where a person experiences little to no sexual attraction to anyone and/or does not experience desire for sexual contact” (aceandaros.com, 2021)

Aromantic (Aro)

  • “Romantic orientation, which describes people whose experience of romance is disconnected from normative societal expectations, commonly due to experiencing little to no romantic attraction, but also due to feeling repulsed by romance, or being uninterested in romantic relationships.” (AUREA FAQ on Aromanticism.org, 2021).  

Allosexual 

  • “Describes people who are not on the asexual spectrum. They can have any romantic orientation, including aromantic” (TAAAP.org, 2021).  

Alloromantic

  • “Described people who are not on the aromantic spectrum. They have any sexual orientation, including asexual” (TAAAP.org, 2001).

Historically speaking , QPR has been described as an “ancient practice made new again”. 

  • Boston Marriages – A Boston marriage was one in which two independent women chose to build a life and a household together, rather than marrying. 
  • Romantic Friendships – Close but often times non-sexual relationship. Used primarily in historical contexts (e.g. Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens; Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed).

Zucchini 

  • Term of endearment used to describe a queerplatonic partner.  
  • Also, “squish” has been used to describe a non-romantic crush.

Amatonormativity (Elizabeth Brake)

  • The idea that everyone needs to be in a romantic relationship 
  • Hallmark movies 
  • Laws surrounding marriage 
  • Chosen families 

Other Resources

Play

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS

Podcasts

COL654: LTAS: Awakening

Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another installment of Let’s Talk About Sex. For this episode, the cubs go way back and discuss their sexual awakenings. Whether it was their first time or their best time, the guys reminisce on that joyous time they discovered themselves as sexual beings. From the birds to the bees, listen in as they share their moments when they figured out what’s going on down there.

Show Topic

Lets Talk About Sex: Awakening

The hosts discuss when they discovered personal sexual awakenings many years ago. 

Urban Dictionary lists Sexual Awakening as: The first time in a person’s life in which they experience a euphoric feeling and desire to be physically intimate with someone.

Sexual Awakening can be defined as when you finally become one with your original essence, your primal energy, and you know your sexual organs.

 

Play

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS

Podcasts

COL644: LoR: Intimacy & Arousal

Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. In this episode we discuss Intimacy and Arousal. We let you in on the secret of the types and levels of intimacy and work the runway of arousal.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Intimacy & Arousal

Intimacy 

David Shnarch – “Intimacy is knowing who you are and letting someone in on the secret.”

Types of Intimacy 

  • Sexual
  • Emotional
  • Intellectual 
  • Aesthetic
  • Creative
  • Recreational
  • Work
  • Crisis
  • Commitment 
  • Conflict 
  • Communication
  • Spiritual 
  • Celebration
  • Physical 

Good Intimacy Tool 

Levels of Intimacy 

  • Safe communication
  • Other’s opinions and beliefs
  • Personal opinions and beliefs
  • Me feelings and experiences 
  • My needs, emotions, and desires

Example: Farting stage of a relationship 

Arousal 

  • Physical response to stimuli 

Problem 

  • Experiential avoidance

The Arousal Runway 

  • Psychological arousal 
  • Face-to-face arousal (role place a sexy scene)
  • Side-by-side (listening to a erotic story, watching ethical porn)

Himeros.tv

“Our fantasies are our allies”

“Fantasies are fantasies”

“People have sex within the limits of their sexual development. We stick to having sex in familiar ways that keep us comfortable. Having sex beyond your sexual development creates anxiety and makes you nervous. Mastering this anxiety is how you become a sexually mature adult.” – David Shnarch

Wrap Up

  • Intimacy is important for arousal in relationships
  • Shame and guilt can negatively impact intimacy and arousal 
  • Take baby steps
  • Explore your fantasies….they might be the doorway to some great experiences 
Play

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS

Podcasts

COL635: LTAS: Sex Starvation

Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another installment of Let’s Talk About Sex. For this episode, the cubs talk about being hangry for handjobs, famished for facials and in anticipation of anal. As the pandemic heads into its 3rd year, the cubs discuss sexual starvation. As many gays & others are dealing with the lack of touch of another person, what can be done to get their freak on while still mitigating risk? From creating sex bubbles to taking matters into your own hands, listen as the guys find ways to satiate the sexually starved.

Show Topic

Lets Talk About Sex: Sex Starvation

The cubs return to talk about sex, or the lack of it…for a long time. The pandemic isn’t ending soon so are the gays getting their freak on or holding back due to COVID?

 

Play

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS

Podcasts

COLFB424: BEAR: Play Lists

Leave a comment

The Bear and Gaymer community learned this past week about the unexpected passing of Greg Ballard. As we mourn our collective loss, this week we present a COL Flashback to episode 424 from July 23, 2021. Join us as we listen to a special show of COL Episode 424 with the unforgettable Greg Ballard.

If you would like to contribute to the GoFundMe campaign to cover funeral expenses for our beloved Greg Ballard, click here. The donation campaign established will help his cousin cover the cost of funeral expenses with any overage of funds being donated in his name to the Trevor Project, a cause he deeply believed in having experienced prejudice and hatred in his youth. 

Greg followed up after recording this episode with us and provided the following comment from his previous collab channel on YouTube to the posting of the original COL424 episode.  GAMER: REDEFINED: So much fun being on the show! Great group of guys!

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys continue the Bear Experience Action Readiness series, AKA BEAR, with a new topic. They are joined by special guest Greg from Men of the Den to discuss playlists: the music kind, not who you have planned to boink. What music do you play on your roadtrips? What’s your soundtrack when you’re gettin’ it on?

Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Rise of the Necromancer
  • Damon: Mr. Kentucky Leather
  • Chester: Final move prep, Legendaries arrive in Pokemon!
  • Gary: Weekend Pup Time
  • Greg: Auditions for our new Tuesday host. The future of the den. Youtube side projects.

Did I Do That?

  • Tech Fail made me do what?!

Feedback:

Facebook Likes:

  • Patrick Bishop
  • Daniel Rodriguez
  • Kelly Gene Parsons

YouTube Subscribers:

  • Richard Borkovec
  • Ray Evans

Twitter Followers:

Tumblr Followers:

Tumblr Comment:

A message from CurvesandCrevices re COL423: Get A Lucky Buddy – Great show with an important message! Recommend it to anyone who meets other people.Also want to throw in a recommendation for an app called Kitestring. (https://www.kitestring.io/) Personal safety when meeting others is a common challenge for women, and there’s a tool already out there! (@cubsoutloud)

Weekly Topic

Play Lists [roadtrip, pooping, sexy time]  

Recommendations:

On the road:

  • Jeff: Push It by Garbage
  • Chester: Music that gets your blood moving! Beyonce’s album “Lemonade”
  • Damon: Waiting for Tonight
  • Gary: Whatever Yo Jam Is! Mine is Bonnie Tyler’s ‘Holding Out For a Hero’
  • Gary: Shrek 2, Jennifer Saunders “Holding Out For A Hero” 

  • Greg: One Many Army by Our Lady of Peace

Fert:

  • Gary: Things That Get You Movin’ & Groovin’

Brown Chicken Brown Cow:

  • Jeff: The Sound of Silence – Not the song, just silence
  • Chester: Industrial – Nine Inch Nails, Tool, KMFDM
  • Damon: Touch of Your Love – Little Mix
  • Gary: NIN – Closer

Cooldown Topics

I’ll Tumbl For Ya:

Links:

 

Play

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS