Tag Archives: needs

COL632: LoR: Goals & Accountability

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. In this episode, the guys come together in the new year to discuss goals and accountability. As many begin each year making new year’s resolutions that they often never keep,  listen in as Ed and the cubs break down the reasons why this may be a regular occurrence. From creating your goal roadmap to making yourself accountable for the roads you take, listen in as the guys give yet another perspective on the wandering journey of relationship building.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Goals & Accountability

New Years resolutions

The Hobbit and LOTR “The Road Goes Ever On”

The Road goes ever on and on,

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

  • Gotta know what “The Road” or our values are.  

Values List 

Four Domains 

  • Work/Education 
  • Relationships
  • Leisure 
  • Personal Health and Wellness 

Translating Values into Goals – “Be a mapmaker”

  • Chose three guiding values 
  • SMART goals (Specific, Meaningful, Adaptive, Realistic, Timely)
  • Immediate (24 hours), Short Term, Medium-Term goals, Long-Term goals
  • Living Goals vs Dead Person Goals
  • Make sure you are heading in the right direction.  Ex. downhill skiing
  • Expected barriers 

Accountability 

  • We are ultimately responsible for our actions 
  • We get to be accountable to the goals we set for ourselves and the map that we make.
  • Feelings, situations, emotions, urges, memories are going to happen.  Make sure you have the needed resources.
  • Be mindful of avoidance and unhelpful sticky thought patterns
  • Be willing to address unhelpful patterns
  • Remember: you can always change your course, but at what and whose expense?  Honor your values and your commitments 
  • Let someone know your goals and work towards shared accountability.
  • Feeling guilty?  Good. You have values. 
  • Remember, not all those who wander are lost. Keep going.  
  • Progress is not always a straight line.  

 

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COL621: LoR: Creating Your Party

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. In this episode, we are talking about Creating Your Party. Just like in multi-player gaming, real life can have better outcomes when we select a team of skilled people by our side.

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Landscape of Relationships: Creating Your Party

Charlie T 

“How about parental/in-law relationships? Times where lines were crossed (and boundaries should’ve been set), or picking chosen family that’s actually healthy for you (vs just spoiling yourself)? (honestly I’m out of ideas)”

Tommy H

“Maybe about when it’s time to end a long relationship. Some early advice I got was not to talk about breaking up or divorcing until you were actually ready to do it”

Social Capital 

Pierre Bourdieu (French Sociologist)

Social capital is the sum of the resources, actual or virtual, that accrue to an individual or a group by virtue of possessing a durable network of more or less institutionalized relationships of mutual acquaintance and recognition. 

Robert Putman, political scientist, defined social capital as “Connections among individuals — social networks and the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness that arise from them.” 

Queer Social Capital and Chosen Families 

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COL329: HNU: Is an Open Relationship for Me?

HostfulNewsUpdateIn this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another hostful news update! In today’s episode, the cubs discuss open relationships. From the articles presented, we talk about the joys and potential pains of opening a relationship, monogamy and whether or not it’s natural. Plus, are we still hungover from our Power Hour celebration?

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Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff – Yu-Gi-Oh obsession has returned
  • Damon – Low Key week
  • Gary – My body hates me

Feedback:

Facebook Comments for COL 327:

Randall Stratton

my favorite on this list is shut up and dance with me….

for COL328:

Vince Dragulin

What an amazing power hour it was!

YouTube Comments for COL328:

comicfan1023

That was fun to watch and Gary you are so sexy.

Alex Rodriguez

That was a great stream, I had a lot of fun watching and even asked my roommate to go get beer for me but sadly when he returned it was over. Still had a blast an I look forward to the next Power Hour!

GROWLr Message: re: COL328 video show:

It looked like a lot of fun.

Email 

Hey guys,

I happened to be listening to another podcast and they mentioned “cubsoutloud”.  I was thinking where did I hear that and then it dawned on me that was the podcast I used to listen to several years ago.  I’m assuming this is the same one that had Griff and Timcub, and Jeff..  I had not thought about you guys in years and was so happy to hear that is back on.  My question is how long have you guys been back.  My partner and I listened back in the day when it was Jeff, Griff, Tim and Kudzucub.  I’m assuming this was around 2010ish and thought yall stopped the podcast.  Was it ever stopped?  Wow, this made my day.  Who are the new hosts and what happened to the old ones.  My partner and I used to be friends with Griff (Keith).  I know you don’t remember me but I was the flight attendant for USAirways and now Delta and we moved from Charlotte to Atlanta.  We hung out with Griff a few times but lost contact with him.  Is he still here??  So excited to be listening again.

Excited to hear from you,

Greg

Urbandictionary with Gary

Trap Queen

A bomb-ass female. The baddest female. She is loyal to her friends,lives for her family,and gives no fucks to bitter,petty bitches. She also enjoys listening to trap music.

CL is a trap queen imo.

Weekly Topic

Hostful News Update

Cooldown Topics

I’ll Tumbl For You:

Links:

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COL282: Let’s Talk About Kink – Dom/sub, you don’t say!

LTAKIn this episode of Cubs Out Loud, we welcome Ches and Matt to lead an in depth discussion on Dom/sub relationships. From defining some of the terms to offering their takes on the dynamics, the guys exchange insights and provide an intriguing dialogue on power exchange and control.

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What’s Going On?

  • [Damon]-Where I Have Been (Comic Con, Bluegrass Leather, Ren Fair)
  • [Gary] – Getting Older

Weekly Topic

BDSM Discussion: Dom/sub Dynamics

  • Dom/sub, Daddy/boy, Sir/boy, Master/slave
    • Role play vs Power Exchange
    • Power Exchange
      • Dom/sub – umbrella
      • “With great power comes great responsibility”
        • Master/slave – focus on pleasure of Master; steward/guardian of slave
        • Daddy/boy & Sir/boy – conditional submission; varying kinds
          • Daddy/boy – mentoring, growth and nurturing for better service in and out; temporary relationship with a defined beginning and end
          • Sir/boy – personal service tailored to the Sir ; extended dynamic with long term possibility
  • Labels, Identities & Titles
    • Look at the power exchange
    • Self-identification
    • Thoughts on Being a Bear
    • “Respect somebody else’s kink”
      • Needs, Activities, Experiences
    • “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” – old mantra?
    • “RACK – Risk, Aware, Consensual, Kink” – new mantra?
  • Play Dynamics vs. Scene Dynamics vs. Relationship Dynamics
    • Play – experiencing with known boundaries
    • Scene – substantial power exchange; individuals familiar with aspects of time, players, experience levels
    • Relationship – extend outside of private settings, more public appearance
  • Closeness of Leather/BDSM Community
    • Support structure for others
  • Respect, Reciprocity and Abuse
  • Personal Responsibility in Representation
  • Local Community Reaction
  • For Da Noobz

I’ll Tumbl For You:

Links:

  • [Gary] – No Boyfren Bon Qui Qui feat. Tammy

  • [Jeff] – Matt Alder – Handsome Man

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