whats app | Cubs Out Loud – The Bear Podcast of Indeterminate Length

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Damon is away this week celebrating his birthday, but have no fear dear listeners – because Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke has returned! From scripts to relationship values, the guys discuss determining what each of us wants and needs.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Relationship Anarchy

Landscape of Relationships is back with Dr. Angelini-Cooke to discuss the topic of Relationship Anarchy. Who doesn’t love disorder in their connections with others? Perhaps that isn’t what it means. Let’s learn together!

Instructional Manifesto for Relationship Anarchy post

The term Relationship anarchist (also commonly called RA) was coined by Ardie Nordgren. Nordgren created the Instructional Manifesto for Relationship Anarchy in 2006. The Manifesto is a quick and easy read consisting of 9 principles of RA:

Love is abundant, and every relationship is unique
Love and respect instead of entitlement
Find your core set of relationship values
Heterosexism is rampant and out there, but don’t let fear lead you
Build for the lovely unexpected
Fake it til’ you make it
Trust is better
Change through communication
Customize your commitments

“Relationship anarchy is a way of approaching relationships that rejects any rules and expectations other than the ones the involved people agree on. This approach ‘encourages people to let their core values guide how they choose and craft their relationship commitments rather than relying on social norms to dictate what is right for you,” Dedeker Winston, co-host of the Multiamory podcast

Relationship Anarchists is different and distinctive from polyamory and consensual non-monogamy because while a majority of RA practitioners may be poly and/or CNM, you can be monogamous and still practice RA.

Choose your own adventure relationships. “Designer Relationships” by Mark A. Michaels

This is in line with our last LOR topic of amatonormativity. Many ace and aro individuals are using RA as a way to navigate their relationships and future relationships, because RA can apply to any and all types of relationships, not just romantic or sexual. There is no hierarchy.

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Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Creating Your Party

Charlie T

“How about parental/in-law relationships? Times where lines were crossed (and boundaries should’ve been set), or picking chosen family that’s actually healthy for you (vs just spoiling yourself)? (honestly I’m out of ideas)”

Tommy H

“Maybe about when it’s time to end a long relationship. Some early advice I got was not to talk about breaking up or divorcing until you were actually ready to do it”

Social Capital

Pierre Bourdieu (French Sociologist)

Social capital is the sum of the resources, actual or virtual, that accrue to an individual or a group by virtue of possessing a durable network of more or less institutionalized relationships of mutual acquaintance and recognition.

Robert Putman, political scientist, defined social capital as “Connections among individuals — social networks and the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness that arise from them.”

Queer Social Capital and Chosen Families