In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke returns and this time we discuss tolerating versus accepting behaviors in our relationships. Do we let the annoying Aunt Ida in?
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Tolerance vs Acceptance
What is tolerance?
Tolerance is the state of “putting up with something without directly opposing it.” It brings up ideas of enduring or allowing certain behaviors. But it doesn’t mean embracing or supporting these behaviors or actions.
It’s a head thing
What is acceptance?
Acceptance is the state of opening yourself up completely to a situation, not how your mind sees it. Acknowledging the reality of a situation without the need to change it or resist it. Being open to differences and embracing them through love and compassion.
It’s a heart thing
Tolerance
It involves the suppression of difficult emotions. Can lead to feelings of resentment and anger due to lack of acceptance or understanding.
Acceptance
This process can lead to feelings of love, compassion, and empathy. The more that we feel connected to someone the deeper our understanding is.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another installment in the Let’s Talk About… series. After the audio issues a couple of weeks ago, the guys are returning to the discussion of their life experiences over the decades in the bear community. In this “redux”, the cubs discuss growing up, life lessons and how it feels to be adults. From finding your tribe to balancing your checkbook, listen in on the ins and outs of being big ole bears.
Show Topic
LTA… Adulting, Redux
Recently Jeff and Gary had a lovely chat about the passage of time as cubs of a certain age. After quite a few years in the bear community, our journeys through life had been down and up. Do we regret growing up? What lessons do we have for others to consider?
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss the psychological concept of the inner child. Initiating from a conversation about Bluey (who knew?), the idea of finding connections to your inner child to heal from the potential harm caused by trauma comes to the forefront in this installment. Listen in as Ed leads the guys on ways to cope with and celebrate with their inner child to bring about healing and growth.
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Healing Our Queer Inner Child
Our Inner Child is a self-state part of us that is still experiencing and processing emotions, thoughts, and memories from that time but also is playful, spontaneous, and creative. Erik Erikson’s stages of development suggests that we have MULTIPLE inner children/adolescent/emerging adults within us.
Inner Child is a common topic in therapy
Writing letters to your childhood self
Engaging in playful, creative, and spontaneous behaviors
Mindfulness or meditation
Current topic re: Inner Child “Bluey”
Queer Authenticity
“Queer people don’t grow up as themselves, we grow up playing a version of ourselves that sacrifices authenticity to minimize humiliation and prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves that are truly us and which parts we created to protect us.” -Alexander Leon
How can we heal our queer inner child?
First, talk to a therapist
Start asking yourself what you needed growing up and do that
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About… For this episode the topic is…ummm…aging! While they may refer to themselves as cubs, the hosts have definitely gotten older over time. And with that passage of time, things have also changed for them physically, mentally and beyond. With Gary reaching a milestone birthday later this year, what are some of the new experiences the guys have had in recent years and are there any lessons of wisdom that others could learn? What might younger members of the community have in store for their future? Listen in as these old gays–I mean cubs–wax nostalgia about getting older, but wiser.
Show Topic
LTA… Aging
While we may refer to ourselves as cubs, it’s been a bit o’time since COL got started. And with that passage of time, things have also changed for us physically and beyond. As Gary leads the pack in reaching a new milestone birthday later this year, what are some of the new experiences we’ve had in recent years? Are there any lessons of wisdom that others could learn from? What might younger members of the community have in store for their future?
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. The cubs are once again joined by Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke for this insightful look into one-sided parasocial interactions. From celebrities to social media influencers, learn how these types of relationships are formed without the others’ knowledge and also the positive and negative impacts they can have on the person creating it. Please like, comment and subscribe to learn more.
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Parasocial Interactions
Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships where one person invests lots of time, energy, interest, and sometimes money where the other person is completely unaware of the other person’s existence. Parasocial relationships are most common with celebrities, organizations, television stars, and social media. These relationships are created through parasocial interactions (PSI) through mediated encounters with performers through mass media.
Social media offers an added layer of interaction for these relationships to intensify through likes, comments, and direct messaging.
Alief – def. knowing something isn’t real but feeling like it is
Positive Outcomes of Parasocial Relationships
*Identity Formation
performers can offer autonomy in relationships where they can receive total acceptance outside of parents/family.
provide a secure relationship without the fear of rejection.
feeling a part of a group
empathy
*Learning
Bandura’s Social Learning Theory says that social behavior is learning and imitating the behaviors of others.
Shows like Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer, Blue’s Clues, and more recently Bluey all offer kids opportunities to learn through identification with these characters.
Negative Outcomes of Parasocial Relationships
*Body Image
research has indicated a negative relationship between parasocial relationships and body image, as well as self-comparison, social comparison with characters increases negative body image
interestingly among men, having a PSR with a superhero is likely to protect body image, where not having a PSR with a superhero is likely to hurt body image
the usage of filters in social media (like airbrushing in print media) has greatly increased, giving a false reality of performers.
*Aggression
more aggressive viewers were more likely to identify with aggressive characters and create PSR with them.
*General
anxiety media views are more likely to be more invested in parasocial relationships
parasocial relationships are one-sided and different traditional friendships
the whole hegemonic masculinity thing
parasocial breakups and grief “what happens when they ‘betray’ you or they die?” Research indicated this follows the patterns of a relationship breakup
can create bias in reality
Topics of PSR
Taylor Swift “Swifties”, Lizzo “Lizzbeans”
Twitter/Only Fans
Reality TV Stars
Vloggers/Podcast hosts
Fictional Characters
Tiktok
Politicians
Be mindful of the media you are consuming and how that translates into your other relationships and the real world.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke returns and this time we discuss tolerating versus accepting behaviors in our relationships. Do we let the annoying Aunt Ida in?
