In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. This time the guys discuss trust. For this second part, the guys continue their break down of the anatomy of trust. Listen in as the cubs open their vaults and get courageous in the face of judgment. As integral parts of the anatomy, the guys further discuss vulnerability and how it is important to trust with others and themselves.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. This time the guys discuss trust. For this first part, the guys begin to break down the anatomy of trust. From the romantic to the familial, Ed leads the cubs through the initial tenets as they begin to break down what trust truly is.
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Trust
What is trust?
“Trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else” – Charles Feldman
“Mistrust is what I shared with you that is important to me is not safe with you.” – Charles Feldman
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs present another chapter of our “What Is…” series. The guys are joined by COL Resident Sex Therapist Edward Angelini-Cooke to unravel authenticity. As many folks had time on their hands in 2020 to be introspective, the idea of being authentic to themselves and what that means rang true. But, what does this mean and what steps can one take to find authenticity?
Show Topic
Our ‘What is…’ series – focusing on Authenticity. We survived 2020 which tried us in so many ways. Some took the opportunity to look inward and reflect on self-improvement.
Authenticity is a process, that involves progress and context
“The Good Place” – We can’t just forget our progress
Phones don’t allow us to do that….every video can be interpreted as a present moment in time
YouTube creators deleting content reduces authenticity similar to ripping up pages in a diary so you are only seeing “the good stuff”
Similar to “Burn” in Hamilton
Brené Brown is a social worker and researcher with the University of Houston’s Graduate School of Social Work. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, shame, empathy, and vulnerability.
Basically, in order for us to practice authenticity, we need courage, compassion, and connection.
Fear keeps us distant from courage where vulnerability gets us closer
Sympathy keeps us distant from compassion where empathy gets us closer
Shame keeps us distant from connection where vulnerability, empathy, power, and freedom get us closer.
“The Compass” analogy
Values = North, West, South, East
Action = Points on the map
Ten Questions to explore authenticity
What is my greatest strength? What is my greatest weakness?
What is my proudest achievement? What is my biggest failure?
What am I worried about? (Think about a room where all your worries live…what is in there?)
What do I believe in? What are my values?
What am I interested in that I haven’t tried?
How are my relationships?
What do I like and dislike about my job?
What does my inner critic tell me?
Is your inner monologue more critical than not?
I know when I am stressed when I ____.
Think of a recent experience with a partner, friend, family member, or co-worker where you wanted to be authentic but weren’t. Imagine pausing at the height of this interaction and asking yourself the following questions:
What am I afraid would happen if I shared my experience right now with this person?
How will I feel if I don’t share what I’m thinking and feeling?
If I weren’t afraid, what would I most want to say to this person right now?
How can I share this with even more vulnerability?
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About Sex! For this episode, the guys are joined again by COL Sex Therapist Edward Angelini-Cooke to discuss the concept of asking and receiving. As we explore romantic relationships, the cubs review negotiations, consent, and getting your needs met and fulfilled. Also sandwiches, pizzas, and tea and what they mean in the grand scheme of things (Don’t worry Gary, there’s no food play involved).
Show Topic
Let’s Talk About Sex – Asking and Receiving
Why is it so hard to ask for something during sex?
Are you being rude if you don’t show appreciation for the other participant during sex?
What do you do if you wanted a blow job but they aren’t doing that thing that you really like when you are getting a blowjob? You know that thing…
The Good Touch Games….Drenched Fur….Gabe and Edward
Consent
“An agreement between two parties who are about to engage in sexual activity”-RAINN
Consent is just as much about no as it is about yes.
Consent is about both parties getting what they want
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, we present a new series of shows. This one is called “All T, No Shade” and allows the hosts to provide a more frank opinion on some potentially polarizing subjects. For this first show, the cubs discuss biphobia. From our personal dealings with bisexuality to admitting our personal biphobic tendencies, the cubs keep it real about their feelings.
So I just finished listening to episode 374 of COL, and I’d just like to thank you Sir. It was a touching conversation and many good points were brought up in the discussion.
You are most welcome. I’ve been a longtime listener but during that episode the discussion shifted to include someone in my situation. Which unfortunately, I find is rarely addressed since for many it isn’t an issue.
I will say that y’all were spot on when discussing how many of my generation are more aware of who they are attracted to at a much younger age.
Oh, I would just like to thank you again, the podcast has helped me a lot over the years. Whether it was for entertainment (comedic or sexual), informative, or just something to detract from the loneliness.
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Weekly Topic
Biphobia definition: Biphobia is aversion toward bisexuality and bisexual people as a social group or as individuals. People of any sexual orientation can experience or perpetuate such feelings of aversion. Biphobia is a source of discrimination against bisexual people, and may be based on negative bisexual stereotypes or irrational fear.
Bi-now, gay later.
Bisexuals are just plain selfish!
Is there Biphobia in the kink community?
I’m Bisexual, But I’m Not Buzzfeed Video:
Opinions on choosing the label of bisexual, how people act towards them, and personal experiences.