In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Gary and Damon return to the ball as the queens dance their way through more challenges. With a lipsync smackdown and the ball of all balls on the horizon, listen as the guys go one-on-one to give their thoughts on where we are in this 15th season. Ru hits another milestone with 200+ episodes, so where do they go from here?
In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Gary and Damon express their feelings as the All Star queens sing and dance along to a bubbly, lovely tune. As the gurls are challenged to write lyrics for and create choreography to a pop love track, listen as the guys discuss their…well, choices. Along with a skin-sational runway, find out which queens Gary and Damon fell in love with and who gets kicked to the curb.
WEEKLY TOPIC
RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 5
Put the Pedal to the Metal:
“I’m in Love!” Trios Original Song Maxi Challenge
[Damon] – Meh…
[Gary] – Shea honey child…
Stomp the Runway:
Love the Skin You’re In
[Damon] – Choices
[Gary] – Oh my…very interesting
Lip Sync for Your Legacy:
Bottom Two, Uh Three: India Ferrah, Mariah Paris Balenciaga, and Ongina
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to discuss the landscape of relationships. In this fourth installment, Edward and the cubs break down the complicated emotion of jealousy and how it affects romantic and other relationships. Is jealousy truly a green-eyed monster or just simply misunderstood?
Show Topic
The Landscape of Relationships – Jealousy
Jealousy Quotes
“Beware….of jealousy! It is the green-eyed monster, which doth mock/The meat it feeds on.”-Iago, Othello, William Shakespeare
“Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.” – Maya Angelou
“Jealousy is not a barometer by which the depth of love can be read, it merely records the degree of the lover’s insecurity.” – Margaret Mead
Cognitive Triangle
Emotions
Emotions are needed for survival
Universally accepted expressions of feelings
Notice there are more “negative emotions” than “positive emotions”….why?
Complex Emotions
examples : Grief, Regret, Jealousy, Envy
Complex emotions include various emotional states (e.g. grief is the one we are most familiar with….Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance). Freud’s model of Jealousy includes four major components: Grief (pain of losing a relationship), Realization (we can’t have everything we want), Enmity (towards the “winner” of affection/attention), and Anger towards ourselves that we are not good enough.
Complex emotions vary based on the person, situation, and culture….therefore, we can not rely on universally accepted facial expression.
Jealousy
What is it? Jealousy is a complex emotion that includes feelings of anger, sadness, fear. Typically experienced when a person experienced a threat to a relationship.
DISCLAIMER: This feeling is not only reserved for romantic relationships. We can have feelings of jealousy in familial, work, and friend relationships.
Is it normal? Absolutely. Evolutionary scientists have shown that animals, such as dogs, experience jealousy. It is a necessary emotion in order to preserve social bonds. While it may be normal, it may not be helpful.
People who experience jealousy in relationships, not shockingly, report decreased relationship satisfaction.
Why am I feeling Jealous? Research suggests that low self-esteem, possessiveness over others, high neuroticism , fear of abandonment are predictors of jealousy.
Suspicious jealous-feeling stimulated by a thought or a feeling….this is typically due to an attachment trauma, self-conscious, low self esteem.
Reactive jealousy-feeling stimulated by an actual event or triggers. (Second Life study)
What Do We Do?
Work on yourself first….
What is your relationship with jealousy? Do you have a pattern of jealousy in your life? How intense?
What are you feeling (angry, sad, or afraid)?
What evidence do we have? What am I thinking about?
Why am I feeling this way? Am I envious? At whom or what?
How am I experiencing this physically? If I feel tense, can I relax?
Notice that your thoughts and emotions shift and change….this isn’t going to last forever.
Once you do this….then we can talk to our partner.
Communicate with your partner your feelings. Recognize that jealousy isn’t a bad thing. Discuss boundaries.
If your partner is the one who is jealous….
Listen to them….completely (Mantra: Just Shut Up and Listen!)
Don’t respond
Reflect back what you are hearing
Practice empathy
Recognize that the jealous says more about them than it does about you.
Addressing your Jealousy
Refer to The Jealousy Workbook Chapter 17 through the end
Buddhism, mindfulness, meditation, attachment
Eye Movement, Desensitization, and Reprocessing (EMDR)
Positive affirmations
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) CBT therapy that disects thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Compersion
Combination of pleasant feelings and thoughts towards your partner when they are in a positive romantic relationship with someone else.
Turning jealousy into compersion….finding neutrality. Increase empathy. Look through their eyes.
Constriction to expansion.
Exclusion, abandonment, and deprivation to belonging, autonomy, and responsibility.
Review:
Jealousy is a normal emotion, but not always helpful.
Listen to what jealousy is telling you as the person experiencing it or the person receiving it.
Don’t avoid that you are on the ride.
Communicate
If you feel you suffer from anxious attachment, talking to someone is helpful.
In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, IT’S MAKEOVER TIME!! Gary and Damon review the 10th episode of this season and it’s a twist on a classic challenge. As the queens are charged with bringing some super fans into their drag families, the guys get charged on their critiques. As we are nearing the final laps, do the gurls have it in them to stay on track?
In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Damon and Gary join the queens as they are reunited “before” the finale! Find out what the gurls have been doing since the show aired and listen as the guys go through their airing of all the dirt. What happened to Branjie? What about WIG-GATE? Is Nina West wearing a fucking sock monkey? All this and more just in time for the finale!!
In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Gary and Damon return to the ball as the queens dance their way through more challenges. With a lipsync smackdown and the ball of all balls on the horizon, listen as the guys go one-on-one to give their thoughts on where we are in this 15th season. Ru hits another milestone with 200+ episodes, so where do they go from here?
