In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, with Damon on assignment out of town, Gary and Jeff welcome AJ aka Pup Zeo, the first and current World Pet 2021! With the end of his reign coming to an end at World Bear Weekend in September 2022, Zeo discusses the joys of being a pet titleholder, the trials of being a new titleholder and the fun of having a title “family”. In addition, the guys welcome all to Orlando for WBW 2022 and invite all to attend as Zeo and his family steps aside to welcome aboard the 2022 title winners. And if you listen carefully, there’s a special code just for our listeners to get a deep discount.
Show Topic
World Pet 2021
We welcome back AJ / Pup Zeo to discuss the upcoming World Bear Weekend in Orlando FL this coming Sept ’22 as well as what it has been like as the first World Pet title holder.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, we’re celebrating wrapping up my 40th trip around the sun. And this time, we planned a little fun episode of JackBox silliness with any drinks/snacks of your choosing. Plus we recorded the zaniness for you, our listeners.
Show Topic
As our Cubs Out Loud podcast producer Jeff wraps up his 40th trip around the sun, we’re mixing things up and swapping out many years of Power Hours for an online gaming episode. We played a little fun episode of JackBox silliness for all to enjoy.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. Today’s topic is New Relationship Energy. That euphoric feeling one gets from their glorious new relationship! However, there can be some challenges. From Limerence of monogamy to the NRE of Polyamory, the cubs break down the pros and cons of this addiction to love.
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: New Relationship Energy
How many songs can you think of that frame romantic love to addiction?
Dorothy Tennov, psychologist, coined the term limerence in her 1979 book Love and Limerence to describe the phenomenon of the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of beginning a relationship. We also call it having a crush. These feelings are categorized as being intrusive and everything seems to be about this person. We can’t listen to the radio because every song seems to be about them. Everything we see seems to remind us about them. They become the central force of gravity in your life. A black hole of attraction. We have all had it at some time or another….and sometimes it is even reciprocated.
New Relationship Energy (NRE)
Similar to limererance but for individuals in polyamorous relationships to describe and help manage the thoughts and feelings that arise during new relationship among already existing ones. This is helpful to frame especially when feelings of jealousy from other partners are present.
NRE is a hot topic in poly circles because it often comes up.
You know that song “Your Love is a Drug” by Kesha?
She wasn’t lying.
The same chemical reactions that occur neurologically during the limerence phase of a new relationship also occur during crack cocaine addiction. The relationship gives us the all of that feel good dopamine and norepinephrine, but also comes with obsessive thoughts when you are not with that other person…similar to withdrawal. That is because we are experiencing low serotonin production at these times, which satiates us and lets us know “mmmm…..I’m full.” Like Alexander Hamilton, we can never be satisfied in those early months.
Cons of NRE
Hyperfocus on new relationship, neglect other relationships and responsibilities
Increases likelihood of negatively evaluating other partner’s behaviors.
Sometimes questionable behavior that is uncharacteristic (e.g. moving, big purchases)
Overlooking red flags
Pros of NRE
Good feelings
High energy
Increased likelihood to try new things
Community wisdom (you are not alone…there are MANY others who have been there too)
What to do?
Head in the Clouds, Feet on the Floor
Its okay to be feel the good feelings….but be practical.
Don’t make big purchases: ( e.g. sign anything anything over $500 without consulting outside party)
Check In’s with friends and date nights with partners
USE THAT ENERGY IN OTHER RELATIONSHIPS!!!
This, too, shall pass.
Research suggests 6 months to 2 years.
Old Relationship Energy (aka Established Relationship Energy, Existing Relationship Energy)
Mina Beveney Dissertation Kinky POC Research Study
Are you a kinky person of color? You may be eligible to participate in an anonymous online survey about your experiences! This research will amplify and center the voices of kinky people of color, and results may benefit the larger community. Mina Beveney, a doctoral candidate and Black psychotherapist, is seeking participants for a 20 to 30-minute survey that will ask about experiences of racial or ethnic discrimination, sexual self-concept, and coping.
If you are a person of color age 18 or over that has participated in in-person BDSM spaces or contexts in the United States within the past 24 months, please follow this link (https://rebrand.ly/RaceKinkSurvey) to find out more and participate. Participants may choose to enter into a drawing to win a one of four $25 gift cards.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, with Damon on assignment out of town, Gary and Jeff welcome AJ aka Pup Zeo, the first and current World Pet 2021! With the end of his reign coming to an end at World Bear Weekend in September 2022, Zeo discusses the joys of being a pet titleholder, the trials of being a new titleholder and the fun of having a title “family”. In addition, the guys welcome all to Orlando for WBW 2022 and invite all to attend as Zeo and his family steps aside to welcome aboard the 2022 title winners. And if you listen carefully, there’s a special code just for our listeners to get a deep discount.
