Tag Archives: biological

COL688: LoR: Sexual Desire

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss sexual desire. While not a usual LoR topic, it can be part of the conversation. Listen as Ed speaks on the complicated definition of sexual desire, where it comes from, and what impacts it in our day-to-day lives.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Sexual Desire

First, sexual desire is complicated. 

  • Is it an emotion? Yes
  • Is it a motivation? Yes
  • Is it a state of being? Yes
  • Is it required to have sex? Not necessarily

Sexual desire is the interest (or lack of interest) toward engaging in sexual activity.  This presents itself with thoughts, feelings, and fantasies.   Some people look at sexual desire existing on a spectrum from disgust to neutral to excited.

One way I have heard sexual desire described is akin to hunger.  And I like this analogy for a few reasons that we will discuss.  

Let’s go back to the idea of a smorgasbord….let’s imagine that there is not a Golden Corral that can hold the variety of sexual desire (Rule 34 of the Internet).  So when we talk about sexual desire, the limit does not seem to exist.  

What impacts sexual desire?

  • Biology/Evolution
    • Age can be a factor, Propagation of the species (sex as a reward); amygdala (emotional center) and hypothalamus (responsible for sexual arousal) Men’s desire is more based on visual cues when compared to women, cued interest “we don’t know why we desire something” v. uncued interest “has an origin story”; the “absolute territory” (Japanese zettai ryouiki), the band of skin between the bottom of the end of the skirt and the top of the socks.  Disclaimer: this is based on statistics and not all human behavior can be reduced to statistics.  If this isn’t your experience, it does not mean you are not valid.  
  • Medical
    • Low testosterone, heart disease, Cancer, physical pain, psychotropic medications
  • Relational
    • Relationship conflict, and sexual scripts 
  • Intergenerational
    • Abuse and religiosity and culture 
  • Psychological
    • Anxiety, Unhelpful body/sexual narratives, other sexual disorders
  • Social
    • Cultural sexual narratives and scripts 

“For most of Western Civilization low sexual desire has been a goal, not a problem.” – David Schnarch 

  • In a sex negative world, no wonder people are so confused about their sexual desires or lack thereof.  Remember the sexual smorgasbord idea?  If dominating cultural narratives created the smorgasbord, then there would only be a few options for a few people….the rest would be closed.

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COL482: Addiction / Cheating with Dr. Cisco

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Dr. Cisco. First, the cubs chat about Cisco’s current research project regarding opioid addiction. After this, the guys review a recent British article regarding a survey/“study” about gay men and cheating. What is cheating? Can you cheat while being in an open relationship?

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Show Topic

Dr. Cisco Salgado returns to discuss his recent work in opioid addiction studies and how much ‘weight’ we should give a study from earlier this year that most gay men cheat on their partner.

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COL419: This Is The Way We Genetically Role

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs are joined by our SCIENCE expert, Mr. (soon to be Dr.) Cisco, to talk about a recent Jezebel article indicating that you may be  born a bottom? Cisco breaks down the facts and figures and gives the guys the bottom line. Also, Chester is on assignment drinking around the world.

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Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Diabloing
  • Damon: CMC/Being Low Key
  • Gary: The challenge of PRIDE
  • Cisco: “Job” at UTHSC in Memphis, I am a US resident, visiting hometown after 6.5 years, new furry baby, about to finish internship and become a doctor, still no balloon ride.

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  • Ben Johnson
  • Xavier Champion

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  • larstul744

Voicemail

  • Hit Me Baby One More Time!

Weekly Topic

Discussion of a recent study about genetics/biology and our sexual role.

Cooldown Topics

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