COL617: LoR: Struggle Bus

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. In this episode, the cubs take a ride on the struggle bus. Discussing conflict and conflict resolution, listen and learn along with the guys as they reveal the common pitfalls and potential solutions to this common problem.

https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/archive.org/download/col-617/COL617.mp3?_=1

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Struggle Bus

• “If you aren’t willing to have it, you will.”
• If you aren’t willing to have conflict, you will.  

Four Horsemen 

• Stonewalling
• Criticism
• Defensiveness
• Contempt

Antidotes

• Psychological Self-soothing [for Stonewalling]
• Gentle Start Up [for Criticism]
• Take Responsibility [for Defensiveness] – it’s okay to be wrong, make mistakes, own our limits, be vulnerable
• Appreciation [for Contempt] – consider a ratio with 5 for 1 [5 appreciative thoughts for 1 contempt]

The Conflict BluePrint 

• Current Conflicts
• Attachment Injuries
• Gridlock Issues 
  • Conflict is ongoing and recurring
  • 69% of conflicts are unsolvable
  • Utilize conversation/discussion to unearth the underlying source/cause

Resources:

The Marriage Minute – email newsletter signup site

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert – Amazon ordering info

Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love – Amazon ordering info

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