COL586: What is. . . Authenticity?

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs present another chapter of our “What Is…” series. The guys are joined by COL Resident Sex Therapist Edward Angelini-Cooke to unravel authenticity. As many folks had time on their hands in 2020 to be introspective, the idea of being authentic to themselves and what that means rang true. But, what does this mean and what steps can one take to find authenticity?

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Show Topic

Our ‘What is…’ series – focusing on Authenticity. We survived 2020 which tried us in so many ways. Some took the opportunity to look inward and reflect on self-improvement. 

Background – Jenna Marbles and the End of Authenticity 

• Authenticity is a process, that involves progress and context
• “The Good Place” – We can’t just forget our progress
• Phones don’t allow us to do that….every video can be interpreted as a present moment in time
• YouTube creators deleting content reduces authenticity similar to ripping up pages in a diary so you are only seeing “the good stuff”
• Similar to “Burn” in Hamilton 

Brené Brown is a social worker and researcher with the University of Houston’s Graduate School of Social Work.  She has spent the past two decades studying courage, shame, empathy, and vulnerability.  

Basically, in order for us to practice authenticity, we need courage, compassion, and connection.

• Fear keeps us distant from courage where vulnerability gets us closer 
• Sympathy keeps us distant from compassion where empathy gets us closer 
• Shame keeps us distant from connection where vulnerability, empathy, power, and freedom get us closer.

“The Compass” analogy 

• Values = North, West, South, East
• Action = Points on the map 

Ten Questions to explore authenticity 

1. What is my greatest strength?  What is my greatest weakness?
2. What is my proudest achievement? What is my biggest failure?
3. What am I worried about? (Think about a room where all your worries live…what is in there?)
4. What do I believe in? What are my values?
5. What am I interested in that I haven’t tried?
6. How are my relationships?
7. What do I like and dislike about my job?
8. What does my inner critic tell me?
9. Is your inner monologue more critical than not?
10. I know when I am stressed when I  ____.

Think of a recent experience with a partner, friend, family member, or co-worker where you wanted to be authentic but weren’t. Imagine pausing at the height of this interaction and asking yourself the following questions:

1. What am I afraid would happen if I shared my experience right now with this person?
2. How will I feel if I don’t share what I’m thinking and feeling?
3. If I weren’t afraid, what would I most want to say to this person right now?
4. How can I share this with even more vulnerability?

Resources

• Brené Brown CNN Authenticity Article 
• Brené Brown’s Definition of Empathy vs Sympathy
• “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brené Brown
• The Power of Vulnerability TED Talk by Brené Brown

• Four Questions to to Foster Your Authentic Self
• Brené Brown and Alicia Keys Talk About Authenticity and Vulnerability
• Brené Brown and President-Elect Joe Biden Talk about Empathy, Unity, and Courage
• 10 Questions That Help Reveal Your Authentic Self

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