Tag Archives: landscape of relationships

COL775: LoR: Relationships with Labels

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke returns after a brief hiatus to discuss the labels we use and ascribe to our lives and relationships. From identifying where we belong to reclaiming some labels, listen as the cubs break down the theories of labels and some of the positive and negative views associated with them.

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Landscape of Relationships: Relationships with Labels

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke returns for a discussion about the labels we use and ascribe in our relationships.

  • Labels are an abstract concept used to group people together based on a perceived set of identifiers or information.  
  • We see labels in our description of our identities (e.g.  gender, race, ethnicity, sexuality).  They can also describe our relationship to something or something (e.g. brother, sister, Catholic, Liberal, Conservative). 
  • In my field, I see labeling related to medical and mental health diagnoses (e.g. anxiety, depression, autism, cancer, heart disease, HIV).  
  • These labels might be viewed positively or negatively or some other reaction, like fear or anger (e.g. addict).
  • Common labeling theories 
    • Social Identity Theory (Tajfel and Turner, 1979) Our sense of self is determined by our membership to social groups.  And our connection to groups is important to our self-esteem and pride.  
    • Labeling Theory (Howard Becker, 1963) discusses how others label us can determine how we see ourselves and how we behave (e.g. fun, trustworthy, thief, depressed, difficult)
  • Labels can be limiting and do not fully capture the complex, diversity, and wholeness of humanity.  This can then reinforce stereotypes and discrimination.  

“In and Of Itself” (Derek DelGaudio, 2020)

“You are a stained glass window” – Dr. EAC

“Hold your labels lightly” – Russ Harris

“The label on the jam jar is not the jam” – Russ Harris

COL755: LoR: We Hurt Where We Care

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke is back with the cubs to explore the somewhat darker side of relationships. This time around, Ed leads the guys on a journey through hurt from those we love and how to find a positive perspective from this.

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Landscape of Relationships: We Hurt Where We Care

Relationships have a lot of benefits, but they are not going to be without conflict and other life difficulties.  So what do you do when that happens?

Fear not!  I have a couple things to tell you that will be helpful.  

  1. “We Hurt Where We Care” 
    1. Russ Harris’ “When Life Hits Hard”
    2. Your pain tells you that this is important to you
    3. Self-compassion
  2. Brene Brown’s BRAVING model.  
    1. the G stands for Generous. 
    2. Let’s be generous with our loved ones when they mess up 
  3. The Gottman’s Positive Perspective
    1. We can either look at the actions of our loved one through rose colored glasses, clear glasses, or poop colored glasses.  Which one(s) do you think is going to have the best outcome?
    2. Five positive interactions to one negative interactions (e.g. affection, appreciation, listening, rituals).
    3. Small actions lead to big results