Tag Archives: care

COL774: LTAK: Uniforms

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another installment in the Let’s Talk About Kink series. The guys are joined again by Tony aka Cubziz to discuss uniforms. From military fatigues to sporty spandex, listen in as the cubs address the types of uniforms and give some advice on how to handle them in our current climate.

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LTAK: Uniforms

The Let’s Talk About Kink series returns and we’re excited to welcome back Cubziz! In the Kink Community, uniforms hold a special place. We’ll be discussing the different types and their cultural references, especially in today’s age.

Uniforms as kink vs fetish

Types of uniforms:

  • Military
  • Law Enforcement / Prison
  • Athletic
  • Trade
  • Specialty / Hiviz / Diving Suit

Links

Cautions: Context Matters

  • In Private: Enjoy the scene. Careful with pictures when taken OUT of that context.
  • In Closed Public: Go by expectations of the environment. For example, a BLUF bar night, a full cop uniform may be acceptable. Regular bar night, be very careful of other patrons. Unknown city bar night, keep that uniform at home.
  • In Open Public: VERY careful and always make sure it is known to be not authentic uniform for the role.
  • In Porn: Touchy. Depends on studio/audience. (i.e. Military porn studios usually won’t try to make things authentic, but just enough to be believable. But others, like “The Academy” strove for authenticity and their videos were geared more to fetish than sex.)

Things to note on uniforms

  • Stolen Valor vs Impersonation
  • Authenticity (ties into BLUF) – Badges, Pins, Nameplates, Sashes
  • Generally major issues tie into Trust.
  • Know every piece and be able to explain.
  • The “Awkward” / Punishment / Self-Conscious Uniform

COL755: LoR: We Hurt Where We Care

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke is back with the cubs to explore the somewhat darker side of relationships. This time around, Ed leads the guys on a journey through hurt from those we love and how to find a positive perspective from this.

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Landscape of Relationships: We Hurt Where We Care

Relationships have a lot of benefits, but they are not going to be without conflict and other life difficulties.  So what do you do when that happens?

Fear not!  I have a couple things to tell you that will be helpful.  

  1. “We Hurt Where We Care” 
    1. Russ Harris’ “When Life Hits Hard”
    2. Your pain tells you that this is important to you
    3. Self-compassion
  2. Brene Brown’s BRAVING model.  
    1. the G stands for Generous. 
    2. Let’s be generous with our loved ones when they mess up 
  3. The Gottman’s Positive Perspective
    1. We can either look at the actions of our loved one through rose colored glasses, clear glasses, or poop colored glasses.  Which one(s) do you think is going to have the best outcome?
    2. Five positive interactions to one negative interactions (e.g. affection, appreciation, listening, rituals).
    3. Small actions lead to big results