Cubs Out Loud » dating http://cubsoutloud.com The Bear Podcast of Indeterminate Length Thu, 30 Jun 2011 03:25:25 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 COL Media podcast@cubsoutloud.com (Cubs Out Loud) podcast@cubsoutloud.com (Cubs Out Loud) 1440 http://cubsoutloud.com/wp-content/uploads/images/cubsoutloud.jpg Cubs Out Loud http://cubsoutloud.com 144 144 The Bear Podcast of Indeterminate Length Cubs Out Loud Cubs Out Loud podcast@cubsoutloud.com no yes COL131: You Want To See The Naughty Bits! http://cubsoutloud.com/2010/09/12/col131-you-want-to-see-the-naughty-bits/ http://cubsoutloud.com/2010/09/12/col131-you-want-to-see-the-naughty-bits/#comments Mon, 13 Sep 2010 00:31:59 +0000 boxtech http://cubsoutloud.com/?p=961 Griff and Jeff welcome JJ back as the hot substitute podcaster to discuss a bevy of listener feedback and how to find your bear. All that and a handful of news from around the gay community.

Hosts: Griff, Jeff and JJ

Amazing Weekends

COL News

Feedback:

  • Email from Phil – Re: Bear411

Hey Jeff, Timcub and Griff

Just thought I’d tell you a story that really made me consider the discussions you’ve had in the recent and not-so-recent past about Bear411 and cliqueishness in the bear community. Last night, I submitted a profile to Bear411. I followed all the requirements, including providing a face pic. This morning, I received an email from the webmaster notifying me that my submitted profile could not be approved. There was absolutely no explanation provided. The website suggested I post my profile at MenOnline.com, presumably one of Bear411′s sister sites.

I have read extensively about the whole fracas over Bear411 being especially picky and/or arbitrary as to who they consider worthy of being on the site. While I do not know the ultimate reason for the rejection, I can’t help but wonder if it’s something they found personally unattractive about me. If I must label myself, I consider myself to be a chub, standing at 5’9″ and weighing 265. However, I do not grow substantial facial hair patterns and usually go smooth shaven. Call it genetics or God or whatever, I’m just not the hairiest guy. My submitted facepic reflects this, and I wonder if they took one look at it and said “NOT A BEAR” before rejecting my profile.

I’ve been listening to COL long enough to remember the infamous verbal back-and-forth between John John and Griff over the site. Most of the time, I can understand each side of the argument…but right about now, I’m sympathizing with John John, if only because I now know what it is like to feel rejected. (I know, you can get out the violins now… Ha!)

Is all this Bear411 drama proof that some bears are just cliqueish and not very kind about it? I’ve noticed even that when going to JJ’s, my local bear bar in St. Louis, I feel less and less welcome lately because I’m merely husky without the hairy. Are chubs are the new twink in the bear communty? I mean no harm to our twink brothers…but I’ve seen a lot of dismissive language sent their way…and I’m even guilty of it in the past.

I get it. People like what they like, but what the P-FUCK? Does the webmaster of Bear411 not consider that there are chub-admirers out there? Who knows, I might have become a paid member. That’s their monetary loss, I guess.

Your thoughts? Keep up the great work, guys!

Phil

St. Louis, MO

  • Email from Thlayli – Straight Guys at the Bear Bar

First off, the last show was great; very much enjoyed it.

Secondly, sorry the feedback is so late, and so short.

Third: Here’s a verbatim quote from Griff:

“If you are a bartender at a gay establishment, or a barback, or work in any capacity there, I kinda think that you are opening yourself up to be hit on, touched, fondled and what-not, and I think that’s okay; that’s sort of acceptable in gay bars especially.”

Holy SHIT.

Um, no. That is not okay. It’s not acceptable for anyone to be fondled – or “what-not” just because they happen to working at a bar. Any bar. Including gay bars. While it’s true that there’s a certain amount of being hit-on that anyone dealing with the public might have to deal with, there’s a fucking line. No touching unless it’s consented to. Period.

Regarding the topics:

Should gay bars hire straight employees?

Sure, why not? Bar employees are not there to fuck the patrons. Sexuality is irrelevant. If the employee doesn’t realize that he’d applied for a job at a gay bar, he/she should be fired on grounds of stupidity.

Should gay bars host bachelorette parties?

No. As there is no legal way around this, (other than 100% private clubs, and those laws may vary from state to state, I don’t know), your weapon is shame. Bachelorettes should show a little fucking sensitivity in this regard – I think it actually IS a little insensitive to use gay clubs as a safe haven from the straight men. If I’m out at a bar, I’d rather enjoy myself, rather than being looked on as an exhibit in a zoo by all the straight folks. Sadly, this is what seems to happen when bachelorette parties arrive. If someone in the party approaches me, the following three things will happen: 1) I’ll be asked to tell my coming out story, 2) I’ll be asked to “prove” that I’m gay, and 3) I’ll be told that it’s a waste for me to be gay.

Anyone phoning in to arrange a bachelorette party at a gay bar should be treated like dirt. Like someone who thinks blackface is funny.

Yarg. As usual, my feedback wants to be an essay. Going to sign off now.

Hugs to all,

Chris (Thlayli)

  • Email from Dave – Name Change and Scruff

Hi Boys,

I really enjoyed your last podcast. Great job and I have been listening for a couple of years. I live in MA and I am engaged to be married. We talked about the whole name change thing when we first became engaged last spring. We decided to keep our own names at that time and I had no problem with that. We both have long last names so the combined names would be around 16 letters long.

As it turns out my soon to be husband told me one night about a month ago that he wanted to take my last name. His decision to take my last name made me very happy, I not sure why but it did.

I also use Scruff. I also listen to Bear Podcast and they had one of the guys who were responsible for Scruff on there podcast. At the time there was just 2 guys doing all of it and they both had full time jobs too. You can listen to the pod cast at http://bearpodcast.com/show/?p=1303. Jeff give them a break, Scruff is much better than Grindr and I see the type of men I like.

Big Bear Hugs,

Dave

  • Tweet from @KellenBrando
There was a problem connecting to Twitter.

Topics:

  • Finding “your” bear.

WTP:

  • Why is Blockbuster still around? “Blockbuster has lost a total of $1.1 billion since the beginning of 2008…” – Griff
  • Foreskin Man – Griff
  • Sharpie Pencil – Griff
  • The new Digg – JJ

Picks:

Download Podcast

]]> http://cubsoutloud.com/2010/09/12/col131-you-want-to-see-the-naughty-bits/feed/ 1 0:00:01 Griff and Jeff welcome JJ back as the hot substitute podcaster to discuss a bevy of listener feedback and how to find your bear. All that and a handful of news from around the gay community. Hosts: Griff, Jeff and JJ Amazing Weekends COL News Jud[...] Griff and Jeff welcome JJ back as the hot substitute podcaster to discuss a bevy of listener feedback and how to find your bear. All that and a handful of news from around the gay community. Hosts: Griff, Jeff and JJ Amazing Weekends COL News Judge: Military’s ban on gays is unconstitutional Cookie in town next week BearCubHouse launches Defendants found not guilty in Atlanta Eagle bar raid case Citizen’s Review board finds cops guilty of false imprisonment in AEBR Inagural Gay Rights March in Savannah Draws 500 Feedback: Email from Phil – Re: Bear411 Hey Jeff, Timcub and Griff Just thought I’d tell you a story that really made me consider the discussions you’ve had in the recent and not-so-recent past about Bear411 and cliqueishness in the bear community. Last night, I submitted a profile to Bear411. I followed all the requirements, including providing a face pic. This morning, I received an email from the webmaster notifying me that my submitted profile could not be approved. There was absolutely no explanation provided. The website suggested I post my profile at MenOnline.com, presumably one of Bear411′s sister sites. I have read extensively about the whole fracas over Bear411 being especially picky and/or arbitrary as to who they consider worthy of being on the site. While I do not know the ultimate reason for the rejection, I can’t help but wonder if it’s something they found personally unattractive about me. If I must label myself, I consider myself to be a chub, standing at 5’9″ and weighing 265. However, I do not grow substantial facial hair patterns and usually go smooth shaven. Call it genetics or God or whatever, I’m just not the hairiest guy. My submitted facepic reflects this, and I wonder if they took one look at it and said “NOT A BEAR” before rejecting my profile. I’ve been listening to COL long enough to remember the infamous verbal back-and-forth between John John and Griff over the site. Most of the time, I can understand each side of the argument…but right about now, I’m sympathizing with John John, if only because I now know what it is like to feel rejected. (I know, you can get out the violins now… Ha!) Is all this Bear411 drama proof that some bears are just cliqueish and not very kind about it? I’ve noticed even that when going to JJ’s, my local bear bar in St. Louis, I feel less and less welcome lately because I’m merely husky without the hairy. Are chubs are the new twink in the bear communty? I mean no harm to our twink brothers…but I’ve seen a lot of dismissive language sent their way…and I’m even guilty of it in the past. I get it. People like what they like, but what the P-FUCK? Does the webmaster of Bear411 not consider that there are chub-admirers out there? Who knows, I might have become a paid member. That’s their monetary loss, I guess. Your thoughts? Keep up the great work, guys! Phil St. Louis, MO Email from Thlayli – Straight Guys at the Bear Bar First off, the last show was great; very much enjoyed it. Secondly, sorry the feedback is so late, and so short. Third: Here’s a verbatim quote from Griff: “If you are a bartender at a gay establishment, or a barback, or work in any capacity there, I kinda think that you are opening yourself up to be hit on, touched, fondled and what-not, and I think that’s okay; that’s sort of acceptable in gay bars especially.” Holy SHIT. Um, no. That is not okay. It’s not acceptable for anyone to be fondled – or “what-not” just because they happen to working at a bar. Any bar. Including gay bars. While it’s true that there’s a certain amount of being hit-on that anyone dealing with the public might have to deal with, there’s a fucking line. No touching unless it’s consented to. Period. Regarding the topics: Sho[...] Podcasts Cubs Out Loud yes no COL130: The ‘F’ Word http://cubsoutloud.com/2010/09/06/col130-the-f-word/ http://cubsoutloud.com/2010/09/06/col130-the-f-word/#comments Mon, 06 Sep 2010 21:27:52 +0000 boxtech http://cubsoutloud.com/?p=959 On a very special Labor Day edition the guys talk about Republican support for gay marriage, Modern Family, the naming for YOUR modern family and Scruff for iPhone.

Amazing Weekends

COL News

Feedback:

  • Legal questions answered:

I just wanted to weigh in on the legal question that you presented in the last show. So here is my take on the employment discrimination issues you raised in your straight guy in gay bar scenario. Under the law if you are a straight individual working at a gay establishment and the patrons at that gay establishment “sexually harass” you. The “sexually harassing” actions by those patrons are not legally attributable to the owner of the gay establishment because there exist so legal relationship between the patrons and the owner. Thus if the straight guy wanted any recourse for the harassment he would have to sue the individuals themselves for the harassment but would not have a case against the owner/boss of the gay establishment because the actions of those individuals were not directed by the owner/boss.

I hope this makes sense. For further research into this issue looking to Torts law under the doctrines of respondeat superior and vicarious liability.

Keep the questions coming that was really fun.

Best,

Darnell

P.S. When are we going to see Jeff topless again I missed it the first go round…..hehehe

  • Comment from Chidiver – “A COL cookbook would be fun! Can the listeners get involved and contribute?
  • Email From Apex Flip

Good Afternoon All,

My name is Apexflip. I’m on the WeightWatchers group COL. I just started to listen to your podcast and I have to say I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!! You all are so funny. I love the way you all work with each other and have your own different onions on everything. It’s also nice to hear a podcast about bears.
Here in NY there isn’t much about bears. Mostly just twinks (which I can do without).
I also just wanted to say,

Jeff your fucking hot
Tim Bear, you are so cute I can just kiss you
Griff, you can fist me without boy butter anytime lol

Hope that all is well for all of you. Keep up the amazing work you three, Cant wait to hear more.

- Apexflip

Topics:

WTP:

  • A Scruff “Meh” “rant” – Jeff

Picks:

  • Stormrage by Richard Knaak – Jeff
  • MBFJ’s recipe for punch – Tim
  • Mad Men on AMC – Griff

Download Podcast

]]> http://cubsoutloud.com/2010/09/06/col130-the-f-word/feed/ 0 0:00:01 On a very special Labor Day edition the guys talk about Republican support for gay marriage, Modern Family, the naming for YOUR modern family and Scruff for iPhone. Amazing Weekends COL News Same sex marriage becoming a Republican cause? Modern [...] On a very special Labor Day edition the guys talk about Republican support for gay marriage, Modern Family, the naming for YOUR modern family and Scruff for iPhone. Amazing Weekends COL News Same sex marriage becoming a Republican cause? Modern Family’s Gay Couple Will Kiss Feedback: Legal questions answered: I just wanted to weigh in on the legal question that you presented in the last show. So here is my take on the employment discrimination issues you raised in your straight guy in gay bar scenario. Under the law if you are a straight individual working at a gay establishment and the patrons at that gay establishment “sexually harass” you. The “sexually harassing” actions by those patrons are not legally attributable to the owner of the gay establishment because there exist so legal relationship between the patrons and the owner. Thus if the straight guy wanted any recourse for the harassment he would have to sue the individuals themselves for the harassment but would not have a case against the owner/boss of the gay establishment because the actions of those individuals were not directed by the owner/boss. I hope this makes sense. For further research into this issue looking to Torts law under the doctrines of respondeat superior and vicarious liability. Keep the questions coming that was really fun. Best, Darnell P.S. When are we going to see Jeff topless again I missed it the first go round…..hehehe Comment from Chidiver – “A COL cookbook would be fun! Can the listeners get involved and contribute? Email From Apex Flip Good Afternoon All, My name is Apexflip. I’m on the WeightWatchers group COL. I just started to listen to your podcast and I have to say I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!! You all are so funny. I love the way you all work with each other and have your own different onions on everything. It’s also nice to hear a podcast about bears. Here in NY there isn’t much about bears. Mostly just twinks (which I can do without). I also just wanted to say, Jeff your fucking hot Tim Bear, you are so cute I can just kiss you Griff, you can fist me without boy butter anytime lol Hope that all is well for all of you. Keep up the amazing work you three, Cant wait to hear more. - Apexflip Topics: Name Change in Lieu of Marriage – Name changing for gay couples not a straight line Is the F word as offensive as the N word? WTP: A Scruff “Meh” “rant” – Jeff Picks: Stormrage by Richard Knaak – Jeff MBFJ’s recipe for punch – Tim Mad Men on AMC – Griff Download Podcast Podcasts Cubs Out Loud yes no COL116: It Starts With Sex http://cubsoutloud.com/2010/05/24/col116-it-starts-with-sex/ http://cubsoutloud.com/2010/05/24/col116-it-starts-with-sex/#comments Mon, 24 May 2010 16:00:00 +0000 boxtech http://cubsoutloud.com/2010/05/24/col116-it-starts-with-sex/ Jeff and Griff bid JJ a fond farewell by discussing JJ’s best and worst memories of COL.  We also talk about the gay dating-scape and how semen totally grosses out JJ.

Amazing Weekends.

COL News

Feedback:

  • Hey Guys
    Just thought I would drop you a line to say hi, thanks for the great discussion especially the one about the HIV+ partnering.  I was with someone for 4 years who was HIV+ and I swore I would never be with someone who had HIV again, it ripped me apart, and still to this very day 15 years later I still feel a void where he should be.  But I have dated since so I’ve not totally kept in the past except for learning about my own limits.
    So I was wondering if I could propose a topic to you guys, So I’ve been in a relationship for 10 years and recently its come to a mad screaming holt (Since December last year).  I’ve started going out again dating, and I’ve noticed that the dating-scape has changed considerably.  Is it the norm that people have forgotten how to do romantic thing (dinner and a movie, coffee dates etc), most people I meet just want to traverse the quick hook up thing.  I want to meet someone likes romance, is romantic and will reciprocate in kind when I am romantic.  Does this idea make me too gay to function?  Is romance dead in the bear community?
    Your loyal listener here in Adelaide, Australia

    iCub_2010

Topics:

  • JJ’s best and worst times on COL. Group discussion.
  • Too young to marry?

WTP:

  • Chocolate on the remote. – Griff
  • Get an iPad for free schemes (people who fall for it rather) – Griff
  • Drinking while doing COL – Griff
  • “Cute” for doing a podcast – Jeff

Picks:

Alan Wake

Price: $19.99

4.1 out of 5 stars (238 customer reviews)

85 used & new available from $9.00

  • Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii) – JJ

Super Mario Galaxy 2

Price: $44.99

4.6 out of 5 stars (327 customer reviews)

81 used & new available from $26.45

]]> http://cubsoutloud.com/2010/05/24/col116-it-starts-with-sex/feed/ 0 0:00:01 Jeff and Griff bid JJ a fond farewell by discussing JJ’s best and worst memories of COL.  We also talk about the gay dating-scape and how semen totally grosses out JJ. Amazing Weekends. COL News COL Movies Launched May 16th. Feedback: Hey [...] Jeff and Griff bid JJ a fond farewell by discussing JJ’s best and worst memories of COL.  We also talk about the gay dating-scape and how semen totally grosses out JJ. Amazing Weekends. COL News COL Movies Launched May 16th. Feedback: Hey Guys Just thought I would drop you a line to say hi, thanks for the great discussion especially the one about the HIV+ partnering.  I was with someone for 4 years who was HIV+ and I swore I would never be with someone who had HIV again, it ripped me apart, and still to this very day 15 years later I still feel a void where he should be.  But I have dated since so I’ve not totally kept in the past except for learning about my own limits. So I was wondering if I could propose a topic to you guys, So I’ve been in a relationship for 10 years and recently its come to a mad screaming holt (Since December last year).  I’ve started going out again dating, and I’ve noticed that the dating-scape has changed considerably.  Is it the norm that people have forgotten how to do romantic thing (dinner and a movie, coffee dates etc), most people I meet just want to traverse the quick hook up thing.  I want to meet someone likes romance, is romantic and will reciprocate in kind when I am romantic.  Does this idea make me too gay to function?  Is romance dead in the bear community? Your loyal listener here in Adelaide, Australia iCub_2010 Topics: JJ’s best and worst times on COL. Group discussion. Too young to marry? WTP: Chocolate on the remote. – Griff Get an iPad for free schemes (people who fall for it rather) – Griff Drinking while doing COL – Griff “Cute” for doing a podcast – Jeff Picks: Adventure Time – Ian Hyatt Place – Griff Alan Wake (360) – JJ Alan Wake Price: $19.99 (238 customer reviews) 85 used & new available from $9.00 Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii) – JJ Super Mario Galaxy 2 Price: $44.99 (327 customer reviews) 81 used & new available from $26.45 Podcasts Cubs Out Loud yes no COL084: Dating: The Internet and Bars http://cubsoutloud.com/2009/09/20/col084-dating-the-internet-and-bars/ http://cubsoutloud.com/2009/09/20/col084-dating-the-internet-and-bars/#comments Mon, 21 Sep 2009 03:37:40 +0000 boxtech http://cubsoutloud.com/?p=717 Pirate Day, Dating via the internet and bars, Healthcare, the VMAs, and more

Amazing Weekends

  • Pirate Day

Topics

  • Using words that you didn’t really know the meaning of at the time (Jeff’s “Oral Sex” story)
  • Internet Dating

WTP

  • Health Care in America
  • Kanye West

Picks:

  • Halo: The Flood – Jeff

The Flood (Halo #2) (Mass Market Paperback)
by William C. Dietz

Price: $0.01
259 used & new available from $0.01
3.6 out of 5 stars (145 customer reviews)

  • Halo: First Strike – Jeff

First Strike (Halo #3) (Mass Market Paperback)
by Eric Nylund

Price: $0.01
309 used & new available from $0.01
4.8 out of 5 stars (114 customer reviews)

The Mists of Avalon (Hardcover)
by Marion Zimmer Bradley

Price: $23.10
99 used & new available from $4.82
4.5 out of 5 stars (936 customer reviews)

]]> http://cubsoutloud.com/2009/09/20/col084-dating-the-internet-and-bars/feed/ 0 COL078: Griff Without Gloves http://cubsoutloud.com/2009/08/09/col078-griff-without-gloves/ http://cubsoutloud.com/2009/08/09/col078-griff-without-gloves/#comments Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:58:53 +0000 boxtech http://cubsoutloud.com/?p=703 The cubs love to hear themselves talk and this week we are all about dick size, hooking up with GPS assistance and dating.

Amazing Weekends

GI Joe – jj

Topics:

  • Let’s get real. Are we doing this thing just to hear ourselves fucking talk?
  • Grindr – Is it a good idea?
  • Dicks!
  • What’s the most important physical trait? Mental?
  • Are we really better off single?

WTP:

  • Did JJ really suggest HIV is manufactured to eradicate gays?

Picks:

]]> http://cubsoutloud.com/2009/08/09/col078-griff-without-gloves/feed/ 2 0:00:01 The cubs love to hear themselves talk and this week we are all about dick size, hooking up with GPS assistance and dating. Amazing Weekends GI Joe – jj Topics: Let’s get real. Are we doing this thing just to hear ourselves fucking t[...] The cubs love to hear themselves talk and this week we are all about dick size, hooking up with GPS assistance and dating. Amazing Weekends GI Joe – jj Topics: Let’s get real. Are we doing this thing just to hear ourselves fucking talk? Grindr – Is it a good idea? Dicks! What’s the most important physical trait? Mental? Are we really better off single? WTP: Did JJ really suggest HIV is manufactured to eradicate gays? Picks: Julie and Julia – Griff Mad Men! – Griff Craig Shoemaker – The Love Master – Griff CCMC New Members 8/17/09 -Tim Trudy’s Stuffed Avocado – Tim iPhone App of the Week: Fieldrunners – jj Podcasts Cubs Out Loud yes no Dating http://cubsoutloud.com/2008/03/13/dating/ http://cubsoutloud.com/2008/03/13/dating/#comments Fri, 14 Mar 2008 01:12:49 +0000 boxtech http://cubsoutloud.com/?p=212 This may seem like a stupid question but, how do you date?  How do you find that right man?  I will be the first to tell you, don’t ask me for dating advise.  I’m only 27 years old and yet, I’ve been ready to settle down.  I definitely want to continue going out with my friends but I’m ready for the one man to be my husbear and live the rest of my life with.  I really felt like I had that before with Karl but he’s gone now and I don’t know how to proceed.  I’m a very shy person.  I was fortunate to find Karl and I don’t really understand how it happened.  Now I’m alone.  I’m striving for companionship, but only with the right bear.  It’s very hard for me to go out and just talk to some cute guy.  I’m one of those people who would hide behind someone and not introduce myself.  I don’t know if that would necessarily be considered cute or charming or repulsive or what have you.   Once I’m introduced to someone or someone comes to me, I will loosen up, but I’m terrified of going up to someone myself.

The other part is finding someone that fits you, and I don’t mean just sexually, although that can be important.  What I mean is someone who has interests that you can tolerate or enjoy and who can tolerate or enjoy your interests with you.  A relationship is a 2, 3, 4, or more way street.  I dare not say two because there are very happy triads out there.  I enjoy listening to tech podcasts, World of Warcraft, and gaming.  Karl and I use to go to GenCon together, but this year, I will not be able to go.  As much as I’m dyeing to go.  I need a $90,000 bear to sweep me off my feet and who loves just being with me, and who I enjoy being with.  Okay, so he doesn’t have to be a $90,000 bear, but I’m talking about my dream bear. So sue me.  Honestly, I’m not expecting the man in my life to like EVERYTHING about me.  Who does?  But that’s what I’m looking for in a man.  Check out my profile on Bearciti to see more.

]]> http://cubsoutloud.com/2008/03/13/dating/feed/ 0