Hello,
New listener here, and I’d like to start off by saying sorry if this message is kinda long and rambling, I’m sure I’m mostly gonna stream of consciousness write it.
I listened to all your most recent episodes that are accessable via Google Podcasts; then I thought I should Google your podcast + Transgender, because I’ve had a couple experiences of enjoying a Thing ™️, only to find out that the people that produce it have said some really offensive stuff about trans folks. So I happy to discover that you had some episodes tagged as transgender on your site, so I could listen and get the tea. I listened to a few of them, but then for some reason your website stopped playing them, unclear if it was my phone or your site, or what, but I think I heard all the important bits.
I don’t want this to come across as a dressing down or anything like that, I really just want to educate. Mostly I wanna call back to some stuff I heard in COL388: Entourage Feedback, and COL474/475: Bear World Weekend, as well as share some of my own stories.
Most of what you guys said in 388 was on the better side of things I’ve heard, but one of the things that stood out to me was the use of the term “female genitalia”, obviously I don’t speak for all of the trans community, but one thing that holds true for me, and most trans people I know would prefer if you didn’t say things like that. To put it in the slogan-y terms, “it’s not female genitalia, I’m a man and it’s mine”, a better way to talk about it would be someone who has not had surgery, or someone with their original parts. And like tips and hints for guys who are interested in trans guys, even though you guys basically said you aren’t, just ask what he wants his junk called; obviously there’s like the most famous trans man porn star who calls himself “a man with a pussy” but I know if you use that term with me it’s gonna be an instant turn off, I don’t want feminine terms for myself, it instantly makes me feel unsexy, but some trans guys will be totally fine with it, so best just to all whoever you’re with.
The other thing that stuck out to me in that episode was someone, sorry I don’t recall who, said they couldn’t even picture playing with a trans guy who had had bottom surgery, even if they were attracted to him, and that personally I don’t get. I haven’t had surgery, I don’t ever want to force anyone to have sex with me who doesn’t want to, and like as long as someone doesn’t go out of their way to be a fuck-stick, to call me disgusting or tell me that I’m not allowed in gay spaces or anything like that, it’s ok with me that someone may not be interested because if the equipment I’ve got. But if someone would have sex with the exact same cis dude but wouldn’t with that guys who has had bottom surgery I’m not understanding, since there are definitely trans guys that you can’t tell at all, at least until they cum.
In the episodes 474/475 it was neat to hear about the gender neutral contests, it sounded like it would also be acceptable for a trans man to compete in the Mr. Best contest, but I wanted to verify because having Cub be gender neutral is great, but the idea of mandating that trans men couldn’t compete in Mr. Bear or trans women couldn’t compete in Ms. Bear sounds bad. But also that’s not what it sounded like was happening, it just sounded like the trans man happened to be competing for Cub not that he wasn’t allowed to compete for Mr. Bear.
Anyhow, I was wondering if you’d ever thought about/sought out a trans bear to have as a guest on your show to talk about any of that?
Also in episode 388 it got brought up how important cock is to some of you. Again, that’s fine, so long as someone isn’t a total asshole to me I’m not gonna be upset over that being the case but I do have some interesting stories to tell over that. I’m a big big bear chub, or rather should probably say a big chubby pocket bear, pretty hairy, bearded, 5’7, over 300 pounds. So I know the types of guys I attract (and the types I’m into) but quite a few times I’ve had people who’ve thought they were like that and then realized when they met me, “oh having a cock isn’t nearly as important as I might have thought it was.” That’s happened many times on growlr, and Tumblr (R.I.P.) but more interestingly has happened in the midst of a hook up quite a few times. I would be playing with a hot bear who is definitely into me, but his husband/boyfriend/partner wouldn’t really be interested due to me being trans, but then in middle of fucking me he’d like shout to the other room “hon, you gotta come try this!” or boyfriend would lean in to check in on us and change his tune in being interested real quick. So again, no shade if it’s not your thing, but sometimes stuff can surprise people when they come face to face with a situation.
Cheers,
Trans Bear
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined by BuilTABear, another trans listener who, after hearing COL514, shared his feedback and brought some perspective that may not have been touched on at that time 4 years ago. The cubs revisit the topic of trans identity and the bear community while also getting to learn more about BuilTABear’s upcoming projects regarding the older trans community.
