In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke is back as the guys turn the pages on sexual scripts. Follow line by line as Ed and the cubs break down what sexual scripts are, where they come from and what happens when you go “off book.” Editing, improv and flipping the script are not just for the stage anymore!
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Sexual Scripts
What are sexual scripts?
In 1986, researchers William Simon and John H. Gagnon defined sexual scripts as the cultural and societally approved norms that a person accesses, agrees upon, and activates through a sexual socialization process. These sexual scripts are specific to the culture a person is socialized in, which tell them what behaviors, thoughts, emotions are or are not acceptable. People carry these scripts with them into sexual situations and they tell them how to respond. Simon and Gagnon theorized that sexual scripts have three different categories, including socio-cultural, interpersonal, and intrapsychic:
Examples of cultural sexual scripts:
- Dating culture
- Premarital sex
- Monogamy
- Dominance and submission
- Heteronormative
- What else?
Examples of interpersonal sexual scripts:
- Flirting/sexual negotiation
- Consent/sexual assault
- Top/Bottom
- What else?
Examples of intrapsychic sexual scripts:
- Turn ons
- Fantasy
- Kinks and fetishes
- Pleasure
- Sexual Desire
- What else?
Quote from Simon & Gagnon (1986)
In the most pragmatic sense, sexual scripts must solve two problems. The first of these is gaining permission from the self to engage in desired forms of sexual behavior. The second problem is that of access to the experiences that the desired behavior is expected to generate.
What happens when we go off script or improvising?
- Rejection
- Non-monogamy/Poly
- Ace/Aro
- Relationship anarchy
- Sides
- Sexual dysfunctions
- Mental health/Trauma
- What else?
What do we do when we are off-script?
Good rules of improv?
- Yes, and….
- Boundaries
- Acknowledge
- Allow
- Accommodate
- Appreciate and….
- Communicate! (especially your boundaries)
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