Tag Archives: spectrum

COL700: WGO: June 2023

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of June. With Pride and Summer happening, things are definitely heating up. From festivals to nuptials, the guys have been keeping themselves pretty busy.

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Yup, June 2023 happened.
  • Damon: I’m Married Now/House Upgrades
  • Gary: PRIDE…now I’m tired

Feedback 

Twitter Followers – we turned 15 this month?

  • @SU8060970583061
  • @andrew670397
  • @BearNakedYogi

YouTube Comment:

  • Re: COL698: LTA… CPAPs, finally! – Bobby M.: How does Meds effect your chances of sleep apnea.

Facebook Follows & Likes:

  • WK Somarathna
  • Luis Alfonso Cabrera
  • Migule Delgado
  • James Smith
  • Malindu Anjula
  • La Vida
  • Trma Bear
  • Dario Montonya
  • Carpenter Logan James
  • Yash Sheoran
  • João Batista Abreu de Sousa
  • Jimmy D Tingle

Patreon Updates

  • BIG BEAR CUB HUGS to our Patrons: 
    • Cubsters: Charles W., Daniel C., and Michael K.
    • Ubehrs: Dave T., Li, Michael Q, and Tim S.
    • plus our Buddies: Lloyd G. and Michael V!

Recent Shows

  • COL696: WGO: May 2023
  • COL697: ATNS: LGBTQIA+ Pride in 2023
  • COL698: LTA… CPAPs, finally!
  • COL699: Nothing in Particular

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COL688: LoR: Sexual Desire

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss sexual desire. While not a usual LoR topic, it can be part of the conversation. Listen as Ed speaks on the complicated definition of sexual desire, where it comes from, and what impacts it in our day-to-day lives.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Sexual Desire

First, sexual desire is complicated. 

  • Is it an emotion? Yes
  • Is it a motivation? Yes
  • Is it a state of being? Yes
  • Is it required to have sex? Not necessarily

Sexual desire is the interest (or lack of interest) toward engaging in sexual activity.  This presents itself with thoughts, feelings, and fantasies.   Some people look at sexual desire existing on a spectrum from disgust to neutral to excited.

One way I have heard sexual desire described is akin to hunger.  And I like this analogy for a few reasons that we will discuss.  

Let’s go back to the idea of a smorgasbord….let’s imagine that there is not a Golden Corral that can hold the variety of sexual desire (Rule 34 of the Internet).  So when we talk about sexual desire, the limit does not seem to exist.  

What impacts sexual desire?

  • Biology/Evolution
    • Age can be a factor, Propagation of the species (sex as a reward); amygdala (emotional center) and hypothalamus (responsible for sexual arousal) Men’s desire is more based on visual cues when compared to women, cued interest “we don’t know why we desire something” v. uncued interest “has an origin story”; the “absolute territory” (Japanese zettai ryouiki), the band of skin between the bottom of the end of the skirt and the top of the socks.  Disclaimer: this is based on statistics and not all human behavior can be reduced to statistics.  If this isn’t your experience, it does not mean you are not valid.  
  • Medical
    • Low testosterone, heart disease, Cancer, physical pain, psychotropic medications
  • Relational
    • Relationship conflict, and sexual scripts 
  • Intergenerational
    • Abuse and religiosity and culture 
  • Psychological
    • Anxiety, Unhelpful body/sexual narratives, other sexual disorders
  • Social
    • Cultural sexual narratives and scripts 

“For most of Western Civilization low sexual desire has been a goal, not a problem.” – David Schnarch 

  • In a sex negative world, no wonder people are so confused about their sexual desires or lack thereof.  Remember the sexual smorgasbord idea?  If dominating cultural narratives created the smorgasbord, then there would only be a few options for a few people….the rest would be closed.

Resources:

 

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COL675: Our Fave Things ’22

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs come together to share a few of their favorite things. With the holidays fast approaching, the guys give you some ideas of items they have enjoyed this year as potential gifts for your friends, co-workers or, hell, even yourself!

Show Topic

Our Fave Things ‘22

It’s the holiday season once again and the COL hosts are offering up some ideas for potential items to share or gift to loved ones. Heck, you could even give something to yourself. Think of it as a precursor to what’s in Santa’s sack. [Not like that, you dirty bearcubs; or maybe..] 

Damon

Jeff

Gary

COL637: What’s Going On – February 2022

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of February. For the month of love, listen in as the guys share their love of D&D, a timely proposal and streaming television. Despite the shortness of this month, the cubs definitely kept it busy.

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Great D&D Sessions
  • Damon: NABW2022 and An Announcement
  • Gary: Vehicle Stuff, Baking Lesson, Miss Corona Ain’t Gone

Feedback 

Facebook Likes:

  • Bryan Simmons
  • Maximiliano Trinidad
  • Aaron Robinson-Findley
  • Bruno Diaz
  • Chris John
  • Christian Genest
  • Jp Castro
  • Christopher Moser
  • Airick E. Greiner
  • Jack Jamaludinski
  • Philski Edwards
  • Chris Covington
  • Luke Christopherson
  • Keith Cheetham
  • Danny Lee
  • Jade Addams
  • Jimmy Minter
  • Joseph Phillips
  • Marc Jay Thomas Lizotte Jr
  • Cj Meeks
  • Bobby Holmes

YouTube Comment:

  • COL635: LTAS: Sex Starvation: Oan R. – “I feel like there should be a thing at the beginning differentiating this from starvation sex. Not a very well known kink. But it is a thing.”
  • COL636: LoR: Love Languages: Oan R. – “My thoughts on different things with this kind of matches Gary’s and Damon’s. I usually like gifts if it’s something I need or ask for. And as for touch and interaction, I generally am more receptive if it’s someone I know and have talked to and traded experiences with.” “The thing I find interesting is just the different places “5 Love Languages” has been applied.” “I actually didn’t know about parallel play, so thanks for that.”

Voicemail

  • 203 area code – SW Connecticut: “No, did you know if you whisper to Alexa, she whispers back? I learned this in the creepiest way possible. I was just saying something and whispering and then Alexa just whispered out of nowhere. And I was like ‘who the fuck is that?’ big man.”

Twitter Followers

  • @YaronAbramovich
  • @pdxbearster1
  • @just2dudes__
  • @DoBear68
  • @mariogrc1975
  • @CharrieNicola4
  • @Charly1141
  • @BigBearxxl

Patreon Updates

  • Welcome our newest Patreon, Timothy Shell who joined us at the Ubehr level!
  • BIG BEAR CUB HUGS to our Patrons! 
    • Cubsters: Charles W. 
    • Ubehrs: Dave T., Li, Michael Q, and now Tim S.
    • plus our Buddies: Lloyd G.
  • [announce preparations for Patron rewards coming in March ‘22]
  • Charles W. joined Patreon 3/4/18, as our very first Patron four years ago when we began. Btw, COL TNG Beta began 3/4/2012!! TEN YEARS IS COMIN UP FAST…

Recent Shows

  • COL634: WGO – January 2022
  • COL635: LTAS: Sex Starvation
  • COL636: LoR: Love Languages

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COL629: It’s the Holiday Season

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys get more festive as the holidays approach. Getting together, they go through some of the celebrations that happen during this time of the year. While there is a focus on one particular holiday (Christmas), there are at least seven spiritual holidays of note going on right now. How many do the cubs know about? Listen and learn as the guys spread the holiday cheer of many holidays to come.

Show Topic

It’s the Holiday Season 

The so-called culture wars here in the U.S. of recent years have brought to light the inward focus of some faith communities amongst many that celebrate at this time of year. While there is a focus on one particular celebration/date, in roughly one month and a half there are seven spiritual holidays of note. How many do our hosts know about? Do you celebrate some or any of them? 

Hanukkah: November 28/December 6 – also known as Chanukah or the Festival of Lights, it is a Jewish festival that lasts for eight days and nights. Hebrew for “dedication” – based on the story of the menorah in the Second Temple of Jerusalem In the Hebrew calendar, Hanukkah starts on the 25th of Kislev, which corresponds to the time frame between late November and December in the Gregorian Calendar. 

Las Posadas: December 16-24 – celebrated throughout Mexico and Central America, is Spanish for “The Inns.” This nine-day festival lasts for a nine-day interval (called the novena) during the Christmas season, which represents the nine-month pregnancy while honoring the journey of Mary and Joseph from Nazareth to Bethlehem in search of lodging.

Winter Solstice/Yule/Christmastide: December 21 – Pagan celebration of the darkest day of the year, originally called Yule, is one of the oldest recorded winter holidays in history. Historically, celebrated by feeding a large oak tree into the fireplace. The tree would be cut down on the Winter Solstice and the yule log would be slowly pushed into the flames over the 12 days of Christmas.

Soyal: December 22 – Zuni and Hopi Native American tribes in the southern U.S. honor the Winter Solstice on Tuesday, December 22 with a ceremony to lure back the sun god, who is believed to have traveled away from the tribes during the winter. It also marks a new cycle of the Wheel of the Year.

Christmas: December 25 – These days it’s easy to mistake Christmas as the two months of the year where everyone airs their hot takes on Hallmark movies, consumerism, ugly sweaters, Black Friday, how early is too early to put a tree, and holiday ads that dare to evolve with the times. Christmas in America is also a trillion-dollar industry, with $10.8 billion spent on Cyber Monday alone in 2020. Between the baking, the decorating, the holiday movies, and gifts, Americans will shell out about $1,500 per household. It’s the most wonderful – and expensive – time of the year.

Kwanzaa: December 26-January 1 – Created in 1966 by Dr. Maulana Karenga, professor and chairman of Black Studies at CSU, Long Beach, Kwanzaa – which stems from a Swahili phrase meaning “first fruits” – honors African-American culture. Each of Kwanzaa’s seven nights involves a candle-lighting ceremony during which attendees light a candle representing one of Kwanzaa’s seven principles: unity, self-determination, collective work & responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, and faith.

Epiphany: January 6 – Feast of Epiphany, most commonly known as Three Kings’ Day, happens twelve days after Christmas, on January 6th. It is a Catholic observance and a day for commemorating the visit that the Three Wise Men paid to Baby Jesus.

Orthodox Christmas: January 7 – Orthodox Christians in the United States celebrate Christmas a little bit later than everyone else, on January 7. This date falls on December 25 in the Julian Calendar, which existed before the Gregorian Calendar. Orthodox Christmas also celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ, the son of God. This holiday differs from Christmas Day because it does not observe Pagan traditions, like waiting for gifts from Santa Claus and decorating a tree, instead it focuses on religious customs.

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