Tag Archives: situational

COL532: The Landscape of Relationships

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined by previous guest Edward Angelini-Cooke for an in depth discussion on relationships. Based on some of Edward’s research for his doctoral dissertation, the cubs breakdown some of the various dynamics in the vast landscape of relationships. From monogamy to polycules, listen as the cubs give some insight to the “It’s Complicated” relationship statuses and more.

Show Topic

The Landscape of Relationships

    • Relationship Anarchy – belief that relationships should not be bound by rules aside from what the people involved mutually agree upon
    • Closed Relationships – relationships that limits sexual and romantic to strictly the parties involved in the relationship
      • Monogamy – a two-person relationship in which an individual has only one partner during their lifetime—alternately, only one partner at any one time (Serial Monogamy)
        • Infidelity – violation of a couple’s assumed or stated contract regarding emotional and/or sexual exclusivity (synonyms include: cheating, straying, adultery (when married), being unfaithful, or having an affair)
      • Polyfidelity – a relationship structure where all members are considered equal partners and agree to restrict sexual activity to only other members of the group [considered both closed and open at the same time]
    • Open Relationships – a relationship that is non-monogamous; generally indicates a relationship where there is a primary relationship between two partners, who agree to at least the possibility of other people
      • Monogamish – In a July 20, 2011 column, Dan Savage coined the term, applying it to his own relationship with his partner; describing couples who are “mostly” but not 100% monogamous; such couples have an understanding that allows for some amount of sexual activity outside the relationship
      • Poly
        • Polyamory – the practice of, or desire for, relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved; described as “consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy”
        • Polygamy – the practice of marrying multiple spouses
          • Polygyny – most common/accepted form of polygamy; marriage of a man with several women
          • Polyandry – marriage in which a woman takes two or more husbands at the same time
    • Bigamy – In cultures where monogamy is mandated, bigamy is the act of entering into a marriage with one person while still legally married to another
      • Swinging – [sometimes called wife swapping, husband swapping, or partner swapping] sexual activity in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship engage in such activities with others as a recreational or social activity

Resources 

Books:

Podcasts 

  • Loving Without Boundaries 
  • Polamory Weekly 
  • Touch of Flavor [kink centric]
  • Non-monogamy Help
  • Savage Lovecast

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COL282: Let’s Talk About Kink – Dom/sub, you don’t say!

LTAKIn this episode of Cubs Out Loud, we welcome Ches and Matt to lead an in depth discussion on Dom/sub relationships. From defining some of the terms to offering their takes on the dynamics, the guys exchange insights and provide an intriguing dialogue on power exchange and control.

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What’s Going On?

  • [Damon]-Where I Have Been (Comic Con, Bluegrass Leather, Ren Fair)
  • [Gary] – Getting Older

Weekly Topic

BDSM Discussion: Dom/sub Dynamics

  • Dom/sub, Daddy/boy, Sir/boy, Master/slave
    • Role play vs Power Exchange
    • Power Exchange
      • Dom/sub – umbrella
      • “With great power comes great responsibility”
        • Master/slave – focus on pleasure of Master; steward/guardian of slave
        • Daddy/boy & Sir/boy – conditional submission; varying kinds
          • Daddy/boy – mentoring, growth and nurturing for better service in and out; temporary relationship with a defined beginning and end
          • Sir/boy – personal service tailored to the Sir ; extended dynamic with long term possibility
  • Labels, Identities & Titles
    • Look at the power exchange
    • Self-identification
    • Thoughts on Being a Bear
    • “Respect somebody else’s kink”
      • Needs, Activities, Experiences
    • “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” – old mantra?
    • “RACK – Risk, Aware, Consensual, Kink” – new mantra?
  • Play Dynamics vs. Scene Dynamics vs. Relationship Dynamics
    • Play – experiencing with known boundaries
    • Scene – substantial power exchange; individuals familiar with aspects of time, players, experience levels
    • Relationship – extend outside of private settings, more public appearance
  • Closeness of Leather/BDSM Community
    • Support structure for others
  • Respect, Reciprocity and Abuse
  • Personal Responsibility in Representation
  • Local Community Reaction
  • For Da Noobz

I’ll Tumbl For You:

Links:

  • [Gary] – No Boyfren Bon Qui Qui feat. Tammy

  • [Jeff] – Matt Alder – Handsome Man

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