Tag Archives: science

COL610: What’s Going On – July 2021

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of July. For this month, the cubs discuss the rise of variants, hugs, vaccinations and new roles. As we’re 7 months into the year of 2021, the guys get you up-to-date on their near end of Summer.

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: New Role, New Games, One Shot
  • Damon: So Many HUGS
  • Gary: Seven Down, Five to Go

Feedback 

Facebook Likes:

  • Brice Wilson
  • Grae Krause

YouTube Comment:

  • COL608: ATNS: Goodbye XTube – Edward M: Are you all gay?

Vimeo:

  • Vitruvian

Twitter Followers

  • @SkyTurkish

Recent Shows

  • COL607: WGO – June 2021 
  • COL608: ATNS: Goodbye XTube
  • COL609: Landscape of Relationships: Forgiveness
  • COLFB424: BEAR: Play Lists [RIP Greg Ballard]

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COL601: Landscape of Relationships: FWB

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. In this installment, the cubs share their thoughts on FWBs, otherwise known as friends with benefits. What are the building blocks of this type of relationship and how do you make it work? And, what exactly are the benefits?

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Friends With Benefits

Is a friendship a relationship????

  • Thoughts?
  • Many cultures define friendships as a very important relationship
    • LGBTQ community- “chosen family”
  • Atlantic 2020 article that discussed the cultural and historical importances of friendships

The relationship escalator

A set of societal expectations for intimate relationships.  Partners follow a set of progressive set of steps, each with clear markers, with a goal in mind.

  • Making contact / Flirting
  • Initiation 
  • Claiming and defining 
  • Establishment 
  • Commitment 
  • Merging 
  • Conclusion 
  • Legacy

What does the science say about FWB relationships?

  • In 2017, 171 University of Denver students (more women than men) were surveyed on sexual satisfaction, commitment and trust of FWB relationships
  • Big takeaways? *drumroll please* communication and setting healthy boundaries
  • They found sexual satisfaction was important but so was sacrificing for the good of the partner, and not looking for the next best thing.
  • Why?  Lots of research is looking at young adults who are in school.  Romantic relationships are oftentimes an added stressor that takes away from studying.  Some students opt for FWB arrangements to reduce overall stress.  

How to make a “friendship with benefits” work.

  • FWBs are supposed to decrease pressure, not add pressure.  
  • You need to be friends in order to call it a FWB.  Those take time, trust, shared history, etc. 
  • Must be mutually beneficial and convenient 
  • If the FWB ends, you are allowed to be upset.  
  • It’s confusing to try to develop friendship founded on a sexual relationship guided by a rule system that has to be invented as you go. Or, when you’re trying to force a friendship so that you can add sex as a benefit, where does the friendship part fit in? That’s putting the benefits before the friendship.”
  • “Sexual exploration can and often does become a part of an existing friendship between consenting people. Or you may have been in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with this person earlier in your life, but now it’s morphed into a friendship. In such circumstances, the sexual connection may remain, or may be reintroduced. But the common thread is the history between you, the investment you share in the friendship, and the trust that has formed. You recognize that you both enjoy the chemistry, but that you may not be as compatible emotionally as you are sexually. It’s a mutually understood experience. The connection you have as friends determines whether this time in your life and in your relationship is right to be sharing benefits.”

Tips for Having a FWB relationship that isn’t a mess

  • Make sure you can handle the emotional complexities 
  • Define “friend” and “benefit” and make sure the other person is on the same page
  • Don’t start an FWB with someone who wants something more
  • Transparency with each other’s sexual history
  • FWB’s and Fuck Buddies are two different things
  • FWB relationships are about respect and boundaries
  • Prioritize the friendship over the benefits

 

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COL585: ATNS: LGBTQ Being Messy

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another All T, No Shade show. This time, the cubs spill the tea on some of the messes in recent weeks among the LGBTQ+ community. From partying during a pandemic to thirsting after terrorists, the guys spare no amount of shade and give their honest opinions about their feelings on this misbehavior.

Show Topic

From circuit parties, secret orgies, to Puerto Vallarta New Years fallout. What do we think of the ‘misbehavior’ by members of our very own community? How much criticism is fair? Can we do better? 

History teaches us. One example is the ‘First they came…’ poem from the Holocaust.

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COL548: What’s Going On – March 2020

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of March. For this month, the cubs discuss their “new normal” in light of COVID-19. From working from home to social distancing, the guys do not really have a lot going on this month. However, the thirst is real, so expect a lot of THICCness.

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff:  Family, Sick before it was COVID, Training for This My Whole Life
  • Damon: Getting Used to the New Normal
  • Gary: COVID-19

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Instagram Followers

  • Chubby__lover
  • Ho_.sm
  • fridaynighthang

YouTube Subscribers:

  • Sw1473
  • Sankar Samir

YouTube Comment:

  • Re: COL547: The Landscape of Relationships – Part 3: Tem: “amazing content dude”, Oan R. commented: “Gawd, such a good show. fans self and sweats” & “I love this episode. Communication is so important.”
  • Re: COL546: LTA. . . COVID-19: Oan R.: Another thing is movie releases have been postponed. The film industry is gonna take a bit of a hit. 
  • Re: COL545: Patreon Version 2.0: Berty Bertface commented: “Should the title not be COL545: The state of Chaturbate? Great show guys.”

Twitter Followers

  • @Sparky40439442
  • @wolfire_1
  • @roberto24622208
  • @black_hayzoos

Recent Shows

  • COL543: What’s Going On – February 2020
  • COL544: The Return of Bathhouses
  • COL545: Patreon Version 2.0
  • COL546: LTA. . . COVID-19
  • COL547:  The Landscape of Relationships – Part 3

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COL523: Power Hour 7: Jeff’s Birthday Basharino

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another infamous POWER HOUR! To celebrate Jeff’s birthday, we once again ring the doorbell 60 times and record the drunken shenanigans for your listening and viewing pleasure. This year, the cubs are joined by COL fans from across the globe. So, listen in as Grey, Oan, Lloyd and Chris (briefly) join our imbibing festivities.

Show Topic

Jeff celebrates his 39th Birthday with our 7th Power Hour!

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