In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About Sex. This time around, the cubs dust off their old BearFilms and Maximum Density tapes to discuss their favorite porn tropes. From the pizza boy to the naughty Santa, the cubs examine these classic and familiar fantasy cliches that keep us coming…err coming back for more. And, to add an additional twist, let’s put them all on a card and find out who shouts BINGO at the climax.
Show Topics
LTAS: Fave Porn Tropes
Let’s Talk About Sex returns with another installment. This time the hosts discuss how over 30+ years certain ‘tropes’ still live on in their fantasies and memories. Blow the dust off your VCR cartridges and fire up the way back machine, ’cause something just cum again and again and again. Will you? Plus there’s a little bingo game waiting to be played!
Trope: from today’s pop culture viewpoint, this is a recurring element or a frequently used plot device in a work of literature or art; considered common and known by many.Downloadable Card
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss sexual desire. While not a usual LoR topic, it can be part of the conversation. Listen as Ed speaks on the complicated definition of sexual desire, where it comes from, and what impacts it in our day-to-day lives.
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Sexual Desire
First, sexual desire is complicated.
Is it an emotion? Yes
Is it a motivation? Yes
Is it a state of being? Yes
Is it required to have sex? Not necessarily
Sexual desire is the interest (or lack of interest) toward engaging in sexual activity. This presents itself with thoughts, feelings, and fantasies. Some people look at sexual desire existing on a spectrum from disgust to neutral to excited.
One way I have heard sexual desire described is akin to hunger. And I like this analogy for a few reasons that we will discuss.
Let’s go back to the idea of a smorgasbord….let’s imagine that there is not a Golden Corral that can hold the variety of sexual desire (Rule 34 of the Internet). So when we talk about sexual desire, the limit does not seem to exist.
What impacts sexual desire?
Biology/Evolution
Age can be a factor, Propagation of the species (sex as a reward); amygdala (emotional center) and hypothalamus (responsible for sexual arousal) Men’s desire is more based on visual cues when compared to women, cued interest “we don’t know why we desire something” v. uncued interest “has an origin story”; the “absolute territory” (Japanese zettai ryouiki), the band of skin between the bottom of the end of the skirt and the top of the socks. Disclaimer: this is based on statistics and not all human behavior can be reduced to statistics. If this isn’t your experience, it does not mean you are not valid.
Anxiety, Unhelpful body/sexual narratives, other sexual disorders
Social
Cultural sexual narratives and scripts
“For most of Western Civilization low sexual desire has been a goal, not a problem.” – David Schnarch
In a sex negative world, no wonder people are so confused about their sexual desires or lack thereof. Remember the sexual smorgasbord idea? If dominating cultural narratives created the smorgasbord, then there would only be a few options for a few people….the rest would be closed.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of July. For this month, the guys talk about their work-life balances, family struggles, and a lot of D&D gaming. On top of this, the cubs share your recent feedback, give you some big bear love, and provide some fun shows to get you through your hot summer nights.
What’s Going On?
Jeff: D&D Madness! and The Legend of Korra
Damon: Workload, A Tragedy, and a Guest
Gary: Welp, Another Month Gone
Feedback:
Facebook Likes:
Tiffany Wilson Lane
Kitti Sage
Anthony Cruz
Facebook Comment/Post:
COL558: LTAF: All Time Faves – Tim Shell – Love the episode I hope you do more. I tried Jeff’s version of grilled cheese with munster delicious I’m hooked !
COL559: ATNS: A Whole New PRIDE – Tim Shell – Another good episode. I hope you would have a topic about racism in the bear community. I think now would be a good discussion.
COL562: What is… Pleasure? – Edward Angelini-Cooke – I love aural pleasure!
Instagram Followers:
Sirkingbearlamar
Justice_for_the_family
kybubbabear
YouTube Subscribers:
Seika The Bear
Dustin Jacobs
Eulalia
YouTube Comment:
Re: COL562: What is. . . Pleasure? – TheNaishproductions. To some extent Cellphones are glorified portable dopamine dispensers. Not convinced people actually use them as a communication device or more for the narcissistic posting of Food, i’m here & you’re not and the ever impressive “Best Night Everrrrrr!!!” photos.
Re: COL562: What is. . . Pleasure? – Oan R. – Was the self-harm road really the best way to go about talking about pain and pleasure? That was a bit triggering. Edit: I don’t know, maybe I was hearing that wrong.
Re: COL562: What is. . . Pleasure? – Oan R. –About the mask thing: for autistics, sensory issues come into play. Although I haven’t had any issues myself, there are people who have had issues.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On episode for the month of June. This time around, the guys talk about butt stuff, and dungeons, and sexual positions and more….Wait, is this an episode of Let’s Talk About Kink? Not really.
What’s Going On?
Jeff: Night Shift & Dragons
Damon: Job News & Colonoscopy & Yesterday
Gary: New Stuff is Rough
Feedback:
Facebook Likes:
Steven Maxwell
สามารถ สมาธาร [Thai – Able to Stream]
Anwar Lordsire
Instagram Followers:
bronparty
Twitter Followers:
@jkiykvgi
@PardueJeffery
@cockeyekink
@cenlapup
@thetalentedpen1
@Lukys3189
@vidaeuorg
@RealMenFullBush
@Tend2DillyDally
Recent Shows
COL511: WTG – May 2019
FB215: Black Shirt Friday
COL512: What is. . . Pride?
COL513: 50 Years From Now
COL514: Trans Bear Listener
Blog Post:
Name: Howard N
Message: Hey guys. Wanted to write an email. Pride month is coming up and I wanted to talk a little bit about it, if I may. Pride can mean a lot of things to a lot of people, and I know the holiday is more specifically concerning lgbt+ persons, but I wanted to say a little bit about what Pride is to me. My coming out is a little different from regular coming outs, with bits being thing that are the same. I remember being so ashamed of who I am, as my background was heavily influenced by the Christian religion. I remember my first boyfriend, and the way he sat on my bed in my college paid apartment room and stated, “I’m not shy”. And the way I walked toward the bed and sat down and being instantly drawn to be felt against his body as he kissed my forehead. Cut forward a bit, I remember being angry with my mother on the phone after the day I had come out to her when she had come down for a visit. I remember feeling like she no longer understood me after years of being close (I was 20 at the time). Cut forward a bit more to a Kohl’s clothing store. I remember my first ex telling me to stop following him around as we were walking around the store. Cut to nights of feeling heartbroken and being taken advantage of. Cut to following relationships with guys and wanting to find somebody like him and me wanting to find someone I felt comfortable with again cause I no longer felt at home under the same roof with my mom. Cut to my self-hate and resentment at myself for getting so emotionally attached to people that I can’t let go, they hang around like ghosts in my head. Cut to the realization that my self-hate was more than just the fact that I was gay. And cut to me learning about Neurodiversity and autism. And how suicide ideation is more common in autistics who mask their neurology to suit the needs of the many. And to me realizing why I have such a hard time with understanding the dynamics of relationships. Being autistic is a lot like being gay in the fact that you don’t want to come out of the closet, even when everybody can tell there’s something different about you, wrong even. All through school I wanted to be like others so bad. I did weird stupid stuff to try and fit in with the social norms. But there’s a constant anxiety, and as you grow older, the anxiety turns into what’s called a mental illness (meaning you can be so afraid to the point of paranoia). This paranoia comes around particularly with people I like because I want so bad for them to like me and am so afraid of losing. Friends have lost connection, romantic relationships go sour…….I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want to be ashamed of who I am, the way I act and think differently from others, the way I react or my stimming (a term for autistics to explain the things they do to cope with stress). I want to stop being afraid of being social and being taken the wrong way. I take Pride in the fact that I am wired differently. (Btw, the symbol for Neurodiversity is a rainbow infinity)
Email:
Gents,
Thank you all for doing this show. I so greatly respect your willingness to be public and open about your learning and growth; it’s not easy. The trans community is so important to me (a close partner is trans, long story), and I’m always so happy to see continued growth in the acceptance and support of our trans siblings. More learning for me too.
Some thoughts that crossed my mind while listening:
I think Jeff had a great idea; more trans porn! Lots of learning (up close and personal) to be had with more porn. No harm, lots of education, no one feeling under the microscope.
I think a guest on the show to talk more about the trans experience is a great idea. And while I love Hadrian, I feel like despite his breadth of experience (no shade!), it should really be a trans-masculine bear to discuss it in more depth.
A podcast recently came out called Two Headed Girl, where a trans-masculine person discusses a lot of issues around their transition. The two hosts are great. Might not be the kind of focused piece that’s helpful but it’s a wonderfully personal show.
Anyway, just random listener thoughts. Thanks again for keeping me company.
Best,
/Chris G
New comment on your post “COL513: 50 Years Later”
Author: Patrick B. (bostonareabear)
Next on COL – episode 3133 (50 years from now in 2069) We will hear Hadrian read from his latest short story titled “Get off my lawn and get into my Craftmatic Adjustable Bed!”
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, we are joined by Hadrian for another Let’s Talk About Sex! This time around we talk about “bud sex”, where rural guys are hooking up with other guys, but are totally “not gay”. Is this a new phenomenon or just a rebranding of something the guys already knew about?
Let’s Talk About Sex discussion with guest Hadrian on ‘Bud Sex’. Part of the topic will be covered by two recent articles about men having sex with men and ‘dropping’ labels.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About Sex. This time around, the cubs dust off their old BearFilms and Maximum Density tapes to discuss their favorite porn tropes. From the pizza boy to the naughty Santa, the cubs examine these classic and familiar fantasy cliches that keep us coming…err coming back for more. And, to add an additional twist, let’s put them all on a card and find out who shouts BINGO at the climax.
Downloadable Card
