Tag Archives: role

COL625: LTAK: Gear – Part 4

November 23, 2021 boxtech Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another installment of Let’s Talk About Kink. The guys are again joined by Tony aka Cubziz to discuss gear. In this fourth part, the guys discuss headspace and how it can relate to gear. From placing you in the proper role to play to enhancing your personal play, learn more on what headspace is and where it can come from.

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Let’s Talk About Kink: Gear – Part 4

We’re joined one again by kinky boy Tony aka Cubziz for a chat about what is headspace and how ‘gear’ adds we see and experience when it comes to leather/BDSM/kink. Previously we discussed…

General Terminology – see episode COL549
Kinds/Types/Categories – see episode COL549
- Common
- Social Acceptability
Owning/Usage – see episode COL553
- Intent – what it does for you vs others
- Storage/Cleaning
- Safety
Acquiring Items – see episode COL557
- Purchasing/Using
- Building an Inventory
- Where to Locate
Headspace
- Definition – by Merriam Webster: [informal] mind-set, frame of mind
- Kinds/types
- Ritual aspect
- Care taking – boot blacks
- 5 Ways to Try Out Kinky Headspace – 2014 Sinclair Sexsmith article
- What is Headspace in BDSM – 2017 online blog post at leatherpup.me

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COL580: LTAS: Sides

December 8, 2020 boxtech Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, Let’s Talk About Sex! The guys are joined by resident Sex Therapist Edward Angelini-Cooke to discuss “sides”. You know of tops, bottoms, and versatiles; but do you know about sides? Listen in as the cubs define this role in the MSM community and what it means in the sexual spectrum.

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Sides

Definition?

Joe Kort developed the term in 2013 after not engaging in anal intercourse and feeling frustrated answering the “top or bottom” question. “Can I be a side?”

A side is typically a man who has sex with another man (MSM) who does not engage in anal intercourse or penetration as it is not part of their erotic orientation. Erotic orientation reflects your sexual fantasies, desires, and sexual behaviors.

Self-labels (labels used to describe anal sex behaviors….or does it):

Top
Bottom
Versatile
- What if you don’t fit into any of those groups? shame…guilt….FOMO…et al.
Sides

Articles:

Guys on the Side: Looking Beyond Gay Tops and Bottoms (First mention of Sides, 2013, Joe Kort)
I’m a side: banish butthole binaries with me (2017, Joe Kort)
What is a Side: Guys who just aren’t into bottoming or topping (2018, Joe Kort)
Not a top, bottom, or verse: are you a side? (2018, Barry Birkholz)
Side Guys: Thinking Beyond Gay Male Tops and Bottoms (2020, Joe Kort)

Videos: Barry Birkholz

Not everyone is Top or Bottom

The Most Under-rated type of Gay Sex

Book: Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment

Podcast: Smart Sex, Smart Love: Episode 50 Side Guys

Awareness?
- Side Guys Facebook Group (currently 323 members)
- Many different presentations of sides
- Sex is not just penetration
- Navigating conversations about being a “side”
- Inclusive language verse exclusive language
Acceptance?

Backlash from gay community…

Interest?

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COL516: LTAS: What Porn Taught Us – Part One

July 16, 2019 boxtech Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another Let’s Talk About Sex. In this multi-part series, the cubs are joined by sex-pert extraordinaire Hadrian to discuss what porn has taught us. For part one, the guys discuss their first access to porn from dirty magazines and VHS tapes to the burgeoning dial-up images and stories on the internet. How did these introductions into the spank bank of their youths change their minds about real sex? What did this do to their brains?

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Let’s Talk About Sex Series: What Porn Taught Us – Part One

What has porn do to our brains and hormones so far?

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COL479: LTAK: Bootblack

September 11, 2018 boxtech Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another Let’s Talk About Kink! This show is about bootblacking and the cubs are joined by Ray Smith, previous NAB titleholder and recently sashed International Community Bootblack 2018. Listen in as the guys talk about what bootblacking is and learn more about this valuable service to the leather/kink community.

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What’s Going On?

Jeff: Work and Binging
Damon: Pride Night/RIP AC
Gary: KI Pride Night Drag
Ray: GLLA and work

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Let’s Talk About Kink – Bootblack

Bootblacking is the practice of caring for boots, shoes, and other leather apparel. While the term “bootblack” originates from the 1800s, in recent years the practice has experienced an increase in popularity in the Leather subculture. Bootblacks are commonly found in leather and leather-friendly bars, providing their services to the bars patrons. [From the online resource: The Bootblack Wiki]

Resources:

I’ll Tumbl For Ya:

Jeff: You’re a pal and a confidant!
Damon: Pec Fucking

Links:

Damon: Watts the Safeword: Pornstar Reacts to Dating Apps

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COL381: LTAK: Boy vs Pup

September 6, 2016 boxtech Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About Kink. For this one, the guys are joined by Ches (Foxbear), Ray (Mr. North American Bear), and pups Beacon and Dozor to talk about boys and pups. What common features do these roles play under the grander kinky umbrella and where do they differ? Listen in as the cubs break down these two similar, yet very different identities.

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Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

Jeff: Legion has arrived!
Damon: IndyFurCon briefly
Chester: Mancs Pride
Gary: Bestie Time
Ches/FoxBear: WORK! NEED VACATION!
Ray: Imperial Court of Indianapolis
Pup Dozor: Softball and Hockey end of season! Prep for BtW.
Pup Beacon: Busy summer. All the new things. Job, home, car, pup, member of Onyx, etc

Feedback:

Facebook Comment:

Randall Stratton: Just finished listening to the podcast..and I agree with Gary none of these songs did it for me..like it was said on the show they seemed to follow a formula..so I was like..meh next.