In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss the often dreaded in-laws. As media seems to make it seem that most straight couples have to deal with their in-laws and spouse’s families, the cubs review how this translates into the relationships of the LGBTQ+ community. Are they really that different or can similar tactics, communication and boundaries help ease the potential tension?
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: In-Laws
Lots of research and media about how in-law relationships are really difficult. That may be the case as some research out there says 3 out of 4 couples have difficult relationships with heterosexual in-laws. Is that the case with same-sex relationships?
- Every family is different with a different rulebook that has been in creation for possibly generations.
- Possibility for conflictual interactions, difficult pasts, and crunchy presents.
- BOUNDARIES!!!!!
- Know your values
- Stay true to you.
- Brene Brown’s BRAVING…specifically the Generosity part.
- Keep those conflict skills in check.
LGBT in-laws (2019) 400 interviews from children in law who identified as gay or lesbian. Describe relationship with same sex in law parent.
- Many of those interviewed struggled with acceptance by one or both of their parents-in-law.
- Relationships usually improved with time
- While parents-in-law became increasingly accepting, there was often someone else in the family who was not accepting
- Acceptance by the mothers-in-law, according to the daughters-in-law, came as more of their friends and social circle either had children who were lesbian or gay, or their friends and social circle became more socially aware.
- Feelings of ambivalence toward family members are typical.
Be the subject of your life, not the object.
- You become an adult child the moment you set boundaries with your family (and in-laws).
- What do YOU want to do with your partner in relation to each other’s families?
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