Tag Archives: RACK

COL713: WGO: September 2023

October 3, 2023 boxtech Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of September. As the cubs finish the third quarter of the year, they find themselves busy. From work to traveling to work travels, listen in as the guys catch you up on their first fall month.

What’s Going On?

Jeff: Down Then Up
Damon: Cabin Trip & Future Plans
Gary: ½ Work Travel, ½ Misc

Feedback

Online Chat:

Hi, Gary this is dindin moshi, if i may i would like to suggest a topic: Extreme Kinks, Risks vs. Rewards And The Effects On The Community. Apologies if you found the tweet in reference too disturbing. https://twitter.com/gainerbull/status/1703436276433633559

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YouTube Comment:

Re: COL706: Nerd Culture: Then vs Now – @MrRee-px1n: We nerd hard!️ Weekly Magic the gathering games since 97, geocaching, & bear hunting.

Re: COL707: LTAS: Fave Porn Tropes – @jordan3636: Does a cub not refer to a child?

Voicemail

Sep 5, 4:49 PM – Hi. I was just calling to find out if y’all have ever done a podcast about. Skeleton Crew or demon doctor they’re creations of Joshua R Pangborn that are really bear friendly and big guy friendly. They’re awesome. And I just thought maybe a lot of the folks listening to your podcast might be interested in finding out about it, how to watch it and things of that nature. Just a suggestion. Thank you so much, bye-bye.

Patreon Updates

BIG BEAR CUB HUGS to our Patrons:
- Cubsters: Charles W., Daniel C., and Michael K.
- Ubehrs: Dave T., Li, Michael Q, and Tim S.
- plus our Buddies: Lloyd G. and Michael V!

Recent Shows

COL709: WGO: August ‘23
COL710: LoR: Selfcare
COL711: LTAS: Tips for Better Selfies
COL712: LTAF: State Fairs ’23 Part 3

Tweet Tweet:

Damon: Sorry I Had To / Happy Labor Day in Venice
Gary: @huskycub88 – Well, I did have to put clothes on at one point.

Links:

Damon: Netflix: Power Rangers Cosmic Fury

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COL688: LoR: Sexual Desire

March 21, 2023 boxtech Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss sexual desire. While not a usual LoR topic, it can be part of the conversation. Listen as Ed speaks on the complicated definition of sexual desire, where it comes from, and what impacts it in our day-to-day lives.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Sexual Desire

First, sexual desire is complicated.

Is it an emotion? Yes
Is it a motivation? Yes
Is it a state of being? Yes
Is it required to have sex? Not necessarily

Sexual desire is the interest (or lack of interest) toward engaging in sexual activity. This presents itself with thoughts, feelings, and fantasies. Some people look at sexual desire existing on a spectrum from disgust to neutral to excited.

One way I have heard sexual desire described is akin to hunger. And I like this analogy for a few reasons that we will discuss.

Let’s go back to the idea of a smorgasbord….let’s imagine that there is not a Golden Corral that can hold the variety of sexual desire (Rule 34 of the Internet). So when we talk about sexual desire, the limit does not seem to exist.

What impacts sexual desire?

Biology/Evolution
- Age can be a factor, Propagation of the species (sex as a reward); amygdala (emotional center) and hypothalamus (responsible for sexual arousal) Men’s desire is more based on visual cues when compared to women, cued interest “we don’t know why we desire something” v. uncued interest “has an origin story”; the “absolute territory” (Japanese zettai ryouiki), the band of skin between the bottom of the end of the skirt and the top of the socks. Disclaimer: this is based on statistics and not all human behavior can be reduced to statistics. If this isn’t your experience, it does not mean you are not valid.
Medical
- Low testosterone, heart disease, Cancer, physical pain, psychotropic medications
Relational
- Relationship conflict, and sexual scripts
Intergenerational
- Abuse and religiosity and culture
Psychological
- Anxiety, Unhelpful body/sexual narratives, other sexual disorders
Social
- Cultural sexual narratives and scripts

“For most of Western Civilization low sexual desire has been a goal, not a problem.” – David Schnarch

In a sex negative world, no wonder people are so confused about their sexual desires or lack thereof. Remember the sexual smorgasbord idea? If dominating cultural narratives created the smorgasbord, then there would only be a few options for a few people….the rest would be closed.

Resources:

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COL649: LoR: Red Flags, Green Flags

May 24, 2022 boxtech Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss the potential red, yellow and green flags in relationship and kink dynamics. While a potentially funny meme, these flags are no laughing matter. Listen in as the cubs unfurl some details and give some insight into looking out for the signals of a healthy (and unhealthy) relationship.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Red Flags, Green Flags

What are Relationship Flags?

Relationship flags are indicators of healthy, unhealthy, and dangerous behaviors or feelings within relationships.
They can be red, yellow, or green.

Red Flags

Controlling behaviors
Violence
Emotional and verbal abuse
Intentional sabotage or hurting of feelings
Walking on eggshells
Friends and family (support) are not trusting of your partner
Using things against you that were told in confidence
Usually can improve for short periods of time but abuse is usually cyclical

Yellow Flags

All or nothing communication
Pushes boundaries
Codependency or enmeshment
Difficulty with finding things in common
Lack of similarities with goals and values
These can be improved upon in meaningful ways

Green Flags

Healthy communication
Respecting boundaries
Interdependence
Supportive of goals and values
Knowing love languages
Awareness that no relationship is perfect

Let’s Get Kinky

Red Flags in Kink

Expect you to immediately obey them and call them an honorific or title before agreed upon/Call you a title one honorific immediately before agreed upon
Don’t ask you about your hard or soft limits
Tell you what “real” or “true” submissive or a dominant does
Separate you from friends and family or kinky friends
Tell you that they have no limits and expect you to have no limits as well
Expect you, as the Dominant, to take full responsibility for their health and wellbeing, both physically and emotionally
Dismiss opinions
Dictate how your dynamic will go

Green Flags in Kink

Want to get to know you on a deeper level, and have an interest in more than just your kinks and sexual preferences
They won’t do anything without your expressed consent, and will respect your stated boundaries and limits, as well as sharing their own
They’re interested in hearing about your journey in kink, as well as what turns you on and off, along with your opinions on how you’d like your dynamic to grow
They respect your existing friendships and relationships, even if they may not be directly introduced to the other important people in your life
They emphasize the importance of safety, consent, negotiation, and safe words in kinky dynamics
They take responsibility for their actions, understanding that you are not the cure for their problems

If you feel you are in a dangerous relationship situation. Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233

Resources

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COL622: LTAS: Horror Stories

October 26, 2021 boxtech Leave a comment

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another installment of Let’s Talk About Sex. This time around, the cubs (sans Jeff) get into the spooky season with some sex horror stories. From bathrooms to bathhouses, the guys share their bad hookups while also giving advice on safer consensual practices to hopefully soften the blow of your next sex slip up.

Show Topic

Lets Talk About Sex: Horror Stories

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COL405: LTAK: Needle Play

March 5, 2017 boxtech Leave a comment

In this episode Cubs Out Loud, Jeff, Gary, and Chester are joined by Dane for a chat about kink; or should we say poking? It’s another show in our Let’s Talk About Kink Series and this time we inject some thoughtful questions into the discussion. And for those of you that have a vivid imagination, we go easy on ya. Get ready with some deep breaths and listen in to the conversation that goes skin deep.