Tag Archives: penis

COL702: LoR: Sex After 50

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke is back to broach the topic of sex after 50. As one of the hosts is approaching this milestone, Ed addresses and discusses the potential changes to one’s sex drive as they cross that age. From sexual health to sexual desire, listen as the guys boil down what you need to be aware of as you cross over that hill.

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Landscape of Relationships: Sex After 50

Welcome to Your 50s!

Lots of people have healthy and active sexual lives at all stages of life. That being said, here are some aspects of your sexuality that MIGHT change.  

Sexual Health 

  • “The World Health Organization defines sexual health as a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.”
  • Regular doctors visits; talk to your doctor about your sexual health; bring a list of questions/comments/concerns helps
  • Colonoscopy and prostate cancer screenings
  • Maintain activity levels 

Sexual Desire

  • We aren’t 16 anymore 
  • Medical conditions, lifestyle, mood, hormone levels, medication
  • Spontaneous vs responsive desire 
  • Possible adapt a sexual willingness mindframe

Erectile Dysfunction 

  • Age doesn’t cause ED, but natural aging and illness can impact sexual response
  • ED is a biopsychosocial phenomenon with biological, physical, psychological, behavioral, emotional, and cognitive factors AS WELL AS identity, relationally (interpersonal and socially),  and intimate factors.  
  • Erections are not required for ejaculations or orgasms
  • Talk to your provider.  Again, talk to your provider. 
  • Medication and treatment options

Communication

  • ”Adult sex is interpersonal” – McCarthy and Metz
  • Maintaining sexual intimacy is key; adapting a flexible sexual relationship 
  • Creating 

So remember, 

  • Your sexual experience MAY change as you gets older 

References

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COL688: LoR: Sexual Desire

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss sexual desire. While not a usual LoR topic, it can be part of the conversation. Listen as Ed speaks on the complicated definition of sexual desire, where it comes from, and what impacts it in our day-to-day lives.

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Landscape of Relationships: Sexual Desire

First, sexual desire is complicated. 

  • Is it an emotion? Yes
  • Is it a motivation? Yes
  • Is it a state of being? Yes
  • Is it required to have sex? Not necessarily

Sexual desire is the interest (or lack of interest) toward engaging in sexual activity.  This presents itself with thoughts, feelings, and fantasies.   Some people look at sexual desire existing on a spectrum from disgust to neutral to excited.

One way I have heard sexual desire described is akin to hunger.  And I like this analogy for a few reasons that we will discuss.  

Let’s go back to the idea of a smorgasbord….let’s imagine that there is not a Golden Corral that can hold the variety of sexual desire (Rule 34 of the Internet).  So when we talk about sexual desire, the limit does not seem to exist.  

What impacts sexual desire?

  • Biology/Evolution
    • Age can be a factor, Propagation of the species (sex as a reward); amygdala (emotional center) and hypothalamus (responsible for sexual arousal) Men’s desire is more based on visual cues when compared to women, cued interest “we don’t know why we desire something” v. uncued interest “has an origin story”; the “absolute territory” (Japanese zettai ryouiki), the band of skin between the bottom of the end of the skirt and the top of the socks.  Disclaimer: this is based on statistics and not all human behavior can be reduced to statistics.  If this isn’t your experience, it does not mean you are not valid.  
  • Medical
    • Low testosterone, heart disease, Cancer, physical pain, psychotropic medications
  • Relational
    • Relationship conflict, and sexual scripts 
  • Intergenerational
    • Abuse and religiosity and culture 
  • Psychological
    • Anxiety, Unhelpful body/sexual narratives, other sexual disorders
  • Social
    • Cultural sexual narratives and scripts 

“For most of Western Civilization low sexual desire has been a goal, not a problem.” – David Schnarch 

  • In a sex negative world, no wonder people are so confused about their sexual desires or lack thereof.  Remember the sexual smorgasbord idea?  If dominating cultural narratives created the smorgasbord, then there would only be a few options for a few people….the rest would be closed.

Resources:

 

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COL631: What’s Going On – December 2021

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of December. With winter blues and holiday tunes, listen in as the guys wind down the year 2021 and look ahead into 2022. Find out how the frosty, frigid last month of the year affected the cubs (mostly because it wasn’t).

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: BEST D&D EVAAAAR!!!!!
  • Damon: Cincinnati Leather, CMC Holiday LIVE, Holiday Lulls
  • Gary: Ending, Transitioning, Beginning

Feedback 

Facebook Likes:

  • Michael Kelly
  • Edward Honea
  • Charles Levere
  • Seth Allen
  • Jimbo Mineer
  • Jake King John
  • Adam Timothy Moliwell
  • Bill Van Dyke

YouTube Comment:

  • COL629: It’s the Holiday Season – Oan. R.: The day wasn’t just chosen. Christmas, like a lot of other Christian holidays, appropriates a lot of things from pagan rituals and beliefs most likely because they wanted to cater the holiday to encompass other’s rituals (stopping now because I really don’t want to get anybody in trouble with the Christian’s)

Twitter Followers

  • @gemini_cub
  • @JeepDaddy3
  • @Sameerdick0101

Recent Shows

  • COL627: WGO – November 2021
  • COL628: LoR: In-laws
  • COL629: It’s the Holiday Season
  • COL630: Jingle Mingle

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COL610: What’s Going On – July 2021

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of July. For this month, the cubs discuss the rise of variants, hugs, vaccinations and new roles. As we’re 7 months into the year of 2021, the guys get you up-to-date on their near end of Summer.

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: New Role, New Games, One Shot
  • Damon: So Many HUGS
  • Gary: Seven Down, Five to Go

Feedback 

Facebook Likes:

  • Brice Wilson
  • Grae Krause

YouTube Comment:

  • COL608: ATNS: Goodbye XTube – Edward M: Are you all gay?

Vimeo:

  • Vitruvian

Twitter Followers

  • @SkyTurkish

Recent Shows

  • COL607: WGO – June 2021 
  • COL608: ATNS: Goodbye XTube
  • COL609: Landscape of Relationships: Forgiveness
  • COLFB424: BEAR: Play Lists [RIP Greg Ballard]

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COL516: LTAS: What Porn Taught Us – Part One

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another Let’s Talk About Sex. In this multi-part series, the cubs are joined by sex-pert extraordinaire Hadrian to discuss what porn has taught us. For part one, the guys discuss their first access to porn from dirty magazines and VHS tapes to the burgeoning dial-up images and stories on the internet. How did these introductions into the spank bank of their youths change their minds about real sex? What did this do to their brains?

Show Topic

Let’s Talk About Sex Series: What Porn Taught Us – Part One

  • What has porn do to our brains and hormones so far?

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