Tag Archives: memorial day

COL650: WGO: May 2022

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of May. As the unofficial start to summer begins, catch up with the guys as they deal with work issues, traveling and finding the best spot for a wedding. In addition, the guys got a lot of feedback after this month with plenty of likes and comments that gave them much to discuss.

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Oh, yay, hiring spree. 🙁
  • Damon:  Wedding Venues and Nashville
  • Gary: Up, Down, Sideways, and All Around

Feedback 

Facebook Likes:

  • Marc E Johnson
  • Sterling Aragon
  • Robert Bruce
  • Mike Guzman
  • Joseph Thompson
  • Mark D Rogers
  • Richard Humphries
  • Carlos Perez
  • Donnie Lockwood
  • Robert Prazner
  • Jason Bolton-Lambert
  • Harry Wright
  • Ruben Rios
  • BaoBao Lai
  • Damien Leahy
  • Louis LaBella
  • Jimm Baker
  • Brad Savage
  • Pedraza Jr Rodolfo
  • James Diele-Stein
  • Rennie Thomas
  • Mario Jimenez
  • Steven Remsing
  • Hassan Soliman
  • Jonathan A Crockett
  • Colin Ashante
  • Gonzalo Sos
  • Peter Stevenson

YouTube Subscribers:

  • spreilly2

YouTube Comment:

  • COL647: Consent in 2022: Oan – “Jeff: “we can blame this all on the millennial.” Me: “what did I do?”
  • COL647: Consent in 2022: Berty Bertface – “You probably cover this in the show, but I believe the effect of social media on Gen Y and even worse still Gen Z, has not been a positive one. Consent or permission is absent from the younger generations. And they are having an impact in daily life. It’s the “Better to beg for forgiveness, than ask for permission” moto of Gen Z. Which is sooooo much fun, right up until you have kids, and they use it on you. Gen Z especially speak and act as though they are living permanently in a comment section, using terrible gramnar and appalling diction. They speak in an unfiltered manner, with such strong conviction that their opinion is the only one that should be heard. It’s not their fault however. Perhaps any generation that had (in certain circumstances) unrestricted access to incredible ammounts of information and disinformation all at once, in a easily digestible format, all at the touch of your fingers tips, would end up exactly the same? As well as the boldening of people’s opinions, many are far less tolerant, and far too sensitive than years past. P.C. (now wokeness) has gone haywire, and there is becoming less and less room for discourse. Internet pseudo science runs rampant in the minds of the young, who are armed only with opinions and feelings, whilst completely denying facts. Rant over, Soz.”
  • COL645: LTAS: Aging Adult Entertainers: Jonathan – “Hi guys. It’s terribly sad about Paul Reed Yinger a.k.a. Steve “Titpig” Hurley passing away as he was one of my favourite adult performers. A strong manly man who never disappointed onscreen. Like you, I often wonder about other performers who are no longer present onscreen and who I have this snapshot of in my brain but who haven’t performed in a long time now. I’m especially thinking about Will West and Ed Diamond, who specialised in bareback porn. There’s a hot scene with Titpig and Will West in a movie called Will West Raw. Then there’s Paul Morgan who did both gay and straight porn and was a prolific performer before vanishing. I guess I just want to know that these guys are out there, happy and healthy and when they leave the movie scene and aren’t heard of again, it’s almost impossible to know. Anyhow, great show and thanks for making mention of Mr. Yinger and raising the topic about ageing adult entertainers.” 
  • COL649: LOR: Red Flags, Green Flags: Oan – “Hey, so I had a question. I don’t know if Ed will ever read this but to the hosts, what would the social protocol be if you want to use the word “sir” in like a courtesy type manner while addressing a person who also happens to be in the bear (leather/bdsm/insert other category here) community?”

Twitter Followers

  • @MariusFizesan4
  • @jasonk1227
  • @KubbyJKev
  • @jeremycub
  • @pup_astrom 

Twitter Message:

  • “need some advice, my guy want to have a threesome. Not sure if I’m interested right now. how should I talk with him?”

Patreon Updates

  • BIG BEAR CUB HUGS to our Patrons! 
    • Cubsters: Charles W. 
    • Ubehrs: Dave T., Li, Michael Q, and Tim S.
    • plus our Buddies: Lloyd G., Michael V, and Zack B.

Recent Shows

  • COL646: WGO: April 2022
  • COL647: Consent in 2022
  • COL648: Voting in 2022
  • COL649: LoR: Red Flags, Green Flags

Shout Out

Obtw, previous guest Paul Lanner has an event coming up soon and would love to see you there. Visit HAH The Event.com for info for support and attending.

Also… remember when we had previous guest Joshua Pangborn from SideKick Productions on for the award winning series Skeleton Crew? Well they have a new project underway with their film “A Taste of Youth” where a fundraising campaign has been launched with Indiegogo. Consider supporting Queer Horror and Fat Positivity content by visiting A Taste of Youth.com to see how you can help make this horror feature happen.

Tweet Tweet:

https://twitter.com/truesluttyprude/status/1531334714862231552?s=20&t=2eh-TcGHorER90arVQnUrw

https://twitter.com/podchub/status/1529701975226519552

Links:

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COL603: What’s Going On – May 2021

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of May. For this month, the guys share their returning to and new normals while dealing with burning monitors, mask wearing and rage quits.

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: A Monitor Short
  • Damon: Done with Chorus/Trip Away/New Normal
  • Gary: Returning to Normal?

Feedback 

Facebook Likes:

  • Roberto Vargas

YouTube Subscribers:

  • Richard Yates

YouTube Comment:

  • COL600: Achievement Unlocked, Now What? – Oan R. – Have some thoughts about what Gary was saying about representation in organizations.
  • COL601: LoR: FWB – Berty Bertface – Another good guys. 43:13 Gary’s reaction to the “control” wordage being used. I had a similar reaction.

Twitter Followers

  • @Blithwulf

Recent Shows

  • COL599: WGO – April 2021 
  • COL600: Achievement Unlocked, Now What?
  • COL601: Landscape of Relationships: Friends With Benefits
  • COL602: LTAS: JustForFans / OnlyFans
  • COLFB162: To Bare, or Not to Bare

Tweet Tweet:

https://twitter.com/DustiCunningham/status/1400679431899783170

https://twitter.com/CigarPervDad/status/1395868397989154818

https://twitter.com/WestCub_86/status/1392175721326333952

https://twitter.com/IsmaeloFerreri/status/1400153176783962112

 

Links:

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COL555: The Landscape of Relationships – Part 4

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to discuss the landscape of relationships. In this fourth installment, Edward and the cubs break down the complicated emotion of jealousy and how it affects romantic and other relationships. Is jealousy truly a green-eyed monster or just simply misunderstood?

Show Topic

The Landscape of Relationships – Jealousy

Jealousy Quotes 

“Beware….of jealousy!  It is the green-eyed monster, which doth mock/The meat it feeds on.”-Iago, Othello, William Shakespeare

“Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.” – Maya Angelou 

“Jealousy is not a barometer by which the depth of love can be read, it merely records the degree of the lover’s insecurity.” – Margaret Mead 

Cognitive Triangle 

Emotions

  • Emotions are needed for survival 

Universally accepted expressions of feelings 

Notice there are more “negative emotions” than “positive emotions”….why?

Complex Emotions 

examples : Grief, Regret, Jealousy, Envy

  • Complex emotions include various emotional states (e.g. grief is the one we are most familiar with….Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance).  Freud’s model of Jealousy includes four major components:  Grief (pain of losing a relationship), Realization (we can’t have everything we want), Enmity (towards the “winner” of affection/attention), and Anger towards ourselves that we are not good enough.
  • Complex emotions  vary based on the person, situation, and culture….therefore, we can not rely on universally accepted facial expression.

Jealousy

  • What is it?  Jealousy is a complex emotion that includes feelings of anger, sadness, fear.  Typically experienced when a person experienced a threat to a relationship.
  • DISCLAIMER:  This feeling is not only reserved for romantic relationships.  We can have feelings of jealousy in familial, work, and friend relationships.  
  • Is it normal?  Absolutely.  Evolutionary scientists have shown that animals, such as dogs, experience jealousy.  It is a necessary emotion in order to preserve social bonds.  While it may be normal, it may not be helpful.  
  • People who experience jealousy in relationships, not shockingly, report decreased relationship satisfaction.
  • Why am I feeling Jealous? Research suggests that low self-esteem, possessiveness over others, high neuroticism , fear of abandonment are predictors of jealousy.  
  • Suspicious jealous-feeling stimulated by a thought or a feeling….this is typically due to an attachment trauma, self-conscious, low self esteem.  
  • Reactive jealousy-feeling stimulated by an actual event or triggers.  (Second Life study)

 

What Do We Do?

 

  • Work on yourself first….

 

      • What is your relationship with jealousy?  Do you have a pattern of jealousy in your life?  How intense?  
      • What are you feeling (angry, sad, or afraid)?  
      • What evidence do we have?  What am I thinking about?  
      • Why am I feeling this way? Am I envious?  At whom or what?  
      • How am I experiencing this physically?  If I feel tense, can I relax? 
      • Notice that your thoughts and emotions shift and change….this isn’t going to last forever.
      • Once you do this….then we can talk to our partner.
      • Communicate with your partner your feelings.  Recognize that jealousy isn’t a bad thing.  Discuss boundaries.

 

  • If your partner is the one who is jealous….

 

    • Listen to them….completely (Mantra: Just Shut Up and Listen!)
    • Don’t respond 
    • Reflect back what you are hearing
    • Practice empathy
    • Recognize that the jealous says more about them than it does about you.  

Addressing your Jealousy 

  • Refer to The Jealousy Workbook Chapter 17 through the end 
    • Buddhism, mindfulness, meditation, attachment 
    • Eye Movement, Desensitization, and Reprocessing (EMDR) 
    • Positive affirmations
    • Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) CBT therapy that disects thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Compersion

  • Combination of pleasant feelings and thoughts towards your partner when they are in a positive romantic relationship with someone else.  
  • Turning jealousy into compersion….finding neutrality.  Increase empathy.  Look through their eyes.
  • Constriction to expansion.
  • Exclusion, abandonment, and deprivation to belonging, autonomy, and responsibility.  

Review:

  • Jealousy is a normal emotion, but not always helpful.
  • Listen to what jealousy is telling you as the person experiencing it or the person receiving it.  
  • Don’t avoid that you are on the ride.
  • Communicate 
  • If you feel you suffer from anxious attachment, talking to someone is helpful. 

Resources 

Books:  

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COLDR: S11E13: Reunited

In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Damon and Gary join the queens as they are reunited “before” the finale! Find out what the gurls have been doing since the show aired and listen as the guys go through their airing of all the dirt. What happened to Branjie? What about WIG-GATE? Is Nina West wearing a fucking sock monkey? All this and more just in time for the finale!!

WEEKLY TOPIC

RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 11

Serving Looks, Stunting Pretty:

  • [Damon] – Curious Lewks
  • [Gary] – Toots, Noots, and Boots Ladies

Let It All Hang Out Hunty:

  • [Damon] – Pride of Season 11/The Instigator
  • [Gary] – WIG-GATE, Yvie Serving T

Snaps & Eyerolls

  • [Damon] – Snaps for… Nina’s Soju Read
  • [Gary] – Snaps for… Brooke Lynn and Vanessie Realness
  • [Damon] – Eyerolls for…  Product Placement SERIOUSLY!
  • [Gary] – Eyerolls for… Kahana Drama, Not Your Real Faces
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COL508: What is… Self-Love?

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys take a fan’s request and come up with a potential new ongoing segment. In this inaugural episode of “What is?”, the cubs discuss self-love. From describing the term to discussing applications in our lives, the guys give you some personal advice on how to love yourself. ‘Cus if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell can you love somebody else?

Show Topic

New Series! What is… Self-Love?

Discussion of the term ‘self-love’. Do we agree as co-hosts on what all is involved with loving ourselves?

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