Tag Archives: intimate

COL601: Landscape of Relationships: FWB

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. In this installment, the cubs share their thoughts on FWBs, otherwise known as friends with benefits. What are the building blocks of this type of relationship and how do you make it work? And, what exactly are the benefits?

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Friends With Benefits

Is a friendship a relationship????

  • Thoughts?
  • Many cultures define friendships as a very important relationship
    • LGBTQ community- “chosen family”
  • Atlantic 2020 article that discussed the cultural and historical importances of friendships

The relationship escalator

A set of societal expectations for intimate relationships.  Partners follow a set of progressive set of steps, each with clear markers, with a goal in mind.

  • Making contact / Flirting
  • Initiation 
  • Claiming and defining 
  • Establishment 
  • Commitment 
  • Merging 
  • Conclusion 
  • Legacy

What does the science say about FWB relationships?

  • In 2017, 171 University of Denver students (more women than men) were surveyed on sexual satisfaction, commitment and trust of FWB relationships
  • Big takeaways? *drumroll please* communication and setting healthy boundaries
  • They found sexual satisfaction was important but so was sacrificing for the good of the partner, and not looking for the next best thing.
  • Why?  Lots of research is looking at young adults who are in school.  Romantic relationships are oftentimes an added stressor that takes away from studying.  Some students opt for FWB arrangements to reduce overall stress.  

How to make a “friendship with benefits” work.

  • FWBs are supposed to decrease pressure, not add pressure.  
  • You need to be friends in order to call it a FWB.  Those take time, trust, shared history, etc. 
  • Must be mutually beneficial and convenient 
  • If the FWB ends, you are allowed to be upset.  
  • It’s confusing to try to develop friendship founded on a sexual relationship guided by a rule system that has to be invented as you go. Or, when you’re trying to force a friendship so that you can add sex as a benefit, where does the friendship part fit in? That’s putting the benefits before the friendship.”
  • “Sexual exploration can and often does become a part of an existing friendship between consenting people. Or you may have been in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with this person earlier in your life, but now it’s morphed into a friendship. In such circumstances, the sexual connection may remain, or may be reintroduced. But the common thread is the history between you, the investment you share in the friendship, and the trust that has formed. You recognize that you both enjoy the chemistry, but that you may not be as compatible emotionally as you are sexually. It’s a mutually understood experience. The connection you have as friends determines whether this time in your life and in your relationship is right to be sharing benefits.”

Tips for Having a FWB relationship that isn’t a mess

  • Make sure you can handle the emotional complexities 
  • Define “friend” and “benefit” and make sure the other person is on the same page
  • Don’t start an FWB with someone who wants something more
  • Transparency with each other’s sexual history
  • FWB’s and Fuck Buddies are two different things
  • FWB relationships are about respect and boundaries
  • Prioritize the friendship over the benefits

 

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COL465: No Pic, No Chat

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys give the lowdown on how to make the most perfect online profile. To catch the bear you have to have the right honey trap, so the cubs give some tips and tricks of the trade to make your profile delectable. In this first part, we talk about your profile pic. What makes a good profile photo? What brings all the bears to the yard?

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What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: All Dogs Go To Heaven
  • Damon: Mother’s Day and Meeting from Hell…
  • Chester: Guests! Gary and Trey, CCC Does Brunch & Art
  • Gary: Meh

Feedback:

Facebook Likes:

  • Darian McBark
  • Joey Dominique
  • Drew Ryan-Bisnauth
  • AJ Sementilli
  • Derek Gauge

YouTube Subscribers:

  • Howard Naong

Twitter Followers:

Twitter Followers:

 

Twitter Comment:

Tumblr Followers:

Tumblr Comments:

  • Cubziz: “EEEP! *BLUSH* (for being #BOTD)
  • Pottbaer: DM – “Great site!”

Urbandictionary

  • Phonebone – to engage in sexual conduct over the phone. In lighter terms, to “have phone sex”.
    • Ex: Did you hear that Andy totally phoneboned Jennifer? How disgusting!

Show Topic

Profile photo: Ramp up hits on your online profile by creating one that is eye catching.

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COL313: Hostful News Update: All About that Ass

COL298In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another hostful news update! In today’s episode, the ass takes center stage as the cubs present some in-depth articles related to buttsex. From tips to making it as pain free as possible to the joys of celebrating the BJ, we hope this news is a good to you as it is for us. And…sphincter!

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Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff – 4/10 Mythic, 51 levels, found Yu-Gi-Oh
  • Damon – I guess I should start packing…
  • Gary – Necessary tired

Feedback:

Facebook Likes:

  • Mark King
  • Yakov Almizri

Urbandictionary.com

Find Your Silence – A request that somebody be quiet, stop talking, etc.

You’re driving me nuts. I am going to need you to find your silence.

Weekly Topic

Cooldown Topics

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COL308: LTAS: Massages and Happy Endings

i_do_bear_massage_tee_shirts-r88ad19ee6ff44aa8835bf5362903de3b_va6l5_512In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined by recurring guests Hadrian and Gabe to discuss the business of touching. From the various types of massages experienced to the reality versus fantasy of happy endings. Which of us has been touched the way we want?

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 What’s Going On?

  • [Jeff] – Work
  • [Gary] – Run!
  • [Hadrian] – Leaving FL
  • [Gabe] – Power Watching TV

Feedback:

FB: Likes from Joey Chabolla and Mark Hare-King

Weekly Topic

LTAS: Massages and Happy Endings

  • Who has had a massage? If so, were you naked for the massage? Was the person giving the massage naked? Did it end in a happy ending?
  • Have you given a massage? Were you and/or the recipient naked? Did you give a happy ending?
  • Is this a fantasy of yours? Perhaps a fetish unfulfilled or fulfilled?
  • It’s a popular theme in porn. Why do we think that is?
  • Have you heard stories of experiences?
  • Do you have friends that are massage therapists?

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