Tag Archives: heteronormativity

COL692: LoR: Sexual Scripts

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke is back as the guys turn the pages on sexual scripts. Follow line by line as Ed and the cubs break down what sexual scripts are, where they come from and what happens when you go “off book.” Editing, improv and flipping the script are not just for the stage anymore!

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Sexual Scripts

What are sexual scripts?

In 1986, researchers  William Simon and John H. Gagnon defined sexual scripts as the cultural and societally approved norms that a person accesses, agrees upon, and activates through a sexual socialization process.  These sexual scripts are specific to the culture a person is socialized in, which tell them what behaviors, thoughts, emotions are or are not acceptable.  People carry these scripts with them into sexual situations and they tell them how to respond.  Simon and Gagnon theorized that sexual scripts have three different categories, including socio-cultural, interpersonal, and intrapsychic:

Examples of cultural sexual scripts:

  • Dating culture 
  • Premarital sex 
  • Monogamy 
  • Dominance and submission
  • Heteronormative 
  • What else?

Examples of interpersonal sexual scripts:

  • Flirting/sexual negotiation
  • Consent/sexual assault 
  • Top/Bottom
  • What else?

Examples of intrapsychic sexual scripts:

  • Turn ons
  • Fantasy
  • Kinks and fetishes
  • Pleasure
  • Sexual Desire 
  • What else?

Quote from Simon & Gagnon (1986)

In the most pragmatic sense, sexual scripts must solve two problems. The first of these is gaining permission from the self to engage in desired forms of sexual behavior. The second problem is that of access to the experiences that the desired behavior is expected to generate.

What happens when we go off script or improvising?

  • Rejection
  • Non-monogamy/Poly
  • Ace/Aro
  • Relationship anarchy 
  • Sides 
  • Sexual dysfunctions
  • Mental health/Trauma 
  • What else?

What do we do when we are off-script?

Good rules of improv? 

  • Yes, and….
  • Boundaries 
  • Acknowledge
  • Allow
  • Accommodate
  • Appreciate and….
  • Communicate!  (especially your boundaries)

 

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COL442: ATNS: Feedback

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another cup of tea as the guys present an All T, No Shade show. This time around, the cubs read and respond to your feedback on some of our most recent episodes. Also, some Thanksgiving leftover conversations and the guys thirsting on some pics.

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Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Marriage & Adoption in Stardew and lazy grocery shopping
  • Damon: I’m Back! ATL and Thanksgiving.
  • Chester: Banned, Birthday, Visitors, Escape Room
  • Gary: Recovery Mode Engaged

Feedback:

Facebook Likes:

  • Mark Wolf
  • Nick DeCoopman
  • Drew Littlefield
  • Bob Green
  • Boy Quinton
  • Lovel Trahan (Pugsley’s BF)
  • Princess Baron
  • Milady Lyn
  • Tom Wray
  • Donnie Royse
  • Morgan J McChurch

YouTube Subscribers:

  • Zak Jackson
  • Brian McGee

Blog Comment:

  • Re: COL430: TTO: Labor Gay: @twatTUBBS’ comment: “just catching up on this show after I been doing alot of travelin, Im the “cigar at work” guy and it made my day that you liked my post. I watch your show all the time guys, love it and thanks for the shout out. O and to the points broght up about the pics, I am faily built but I am a foodie, it was a great cigar yes.  (Alec Bradley) and its not sweat it was oil, those are clips from a vid I made on youtube, let me know if you want the link. TUBBS”
  • Re: COL437: Old School Bears Online: tnliving’s comment: “Having a different view in some part of one’s personal life shouldn’t disqualify them from being a valued member of a community.  Just like we don’t want to be excluded or discriminated from normal civic life because we are gay, we also shouldn’t exclude others based on their political views in general. As with most issues there are plenty of grey areas but being a Donald Trump supporter is not comparable to maybe being a founder of a gay reformation group.  Being an active participant in the Westboro Baptist church should probably preclude somebody from  being taken seriously leading a gay social group.  Being a Republican (even a Trump Republican) certainly should not in my opinion.”

Tumblr Followers:

Tumblr Comment:

  • Mapleleafcub: Thank you so much for the bear of the day
  • wingmandbq to foxbear: Not An Ask but a thanks
    • Not an ask but a thanks … It was great to hear you on the latest episode of Cubs Out Loud!! I kinda fan boyed a bit and may have even did a bit of a squeeeee!!!! too!! Thanks for being involved, it was great to hear you share your knowledge, experience and perspective.
    • Sure, bub!  I’m a semi-regular guest host with the boys from @cubsoutloud, and have probably been on eight or ten episodes–including at least three video episodes that are available on their YouTube channel.  You can probably find them all using the tag cloud over on the COL website.

W Bear – Chester:

  • Rootbeer Pup and Grizzly: You guys are awesome, I love your shows. Keep up the good work. I love listening to you guys when I can.
  • (We then got into a discussion about cigars from COL436: Smokin’ in the Bears Den

W Bear – Gary:

  • Cody says “Hey I love your pictures handsome and I relly like your podcast it got me through my weekend cleaning job and now my commute 😉
    • Yay! Thanks for letting us know. We’re glad it helped you pass the time. 🙂

Show Topic

ATNS: Feedback

  • Re: COL440: The Klondykes: From [Redacted]: This is NOT a comment of hate, this is a comment of reality……I 1st saw pics of this “contest” on the old (better) Bear Underground site. They were posted by the winner of the “Glitter Bear” title, ya know, the guy who is dolphin smooth and not bear like in any way.. After looking at these very disturbing pictures I simply asked- What do the red\pink stripes stand for then? Of course he replied that he didn’t know and that they were just shades of red and pink. So one can only figure the color stripes stand for the “Klondikes” heavy to lite flow days. The True Bear Community has been being tainted for years and years. This is the straw that breaks the community and welcomes camel toe. Bear means hair, with that in mind I wonder, do these so-called lesbian bears not shave and grow huge bushes?? This entire Bear’s Welcome Everybody thing has gone way too far. There is a line, and the Klondikes are it. Sad to see so many forget their roots.
  • In show response regarding the colors in the logo: Per our guest Courtney Chesser: “I’m so glad someone asked! The logo was made by local Aly shine. It is a mixture of the bear pride flag and femme flag on our behalf. The pinks are the bear pride “skin” colors translated into shades of pink. Pink is traditionally displayed in the femme pride flag so it’s accepting of all ranges of skin as well as ranges of femininity.”
Cooldown Topics

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