In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss QPRs or Queer Platonic Relationships. QPRs are intimate relationships that are neither romantic nor sexual in nature. Listen in as Ed builds up the fundamentals of this different relationship dynamic and its origins and brings it up to date for modern audiences.
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Queer Platonic Relationships
Landscape of Relationships returns. Queer platonic relationships are our focus this month when it comes to relationships. QPRs are committed intimate relationships which are neither romantic nor sexual in nature and that differ from close friendship by having the same structure and status as a romantic relationship. The concept originates in aromantic and asexual spaces in the LGBT community. The term has begun to also be used in polyamorous communities to help describe the complex relationships. The term “queers” social norms for defining relationships, it isn’t a friendship nor is it a romantic relationship.
Asexual (Ace)
“Sexual orientation where a person experiences little to no sexual attraction to anyone and/or does not experience desire for sexual contact” (aceandaros.com, 2021)
Aromantic (Aro)
“Romantic orientation, which describes people whose experience of romance is disconnected from normative societal expectations, commonly due to experiencing little to no romantic attraction, but also due to feeling repulsed by romance, or being uninterested in romantic relationships.” (AUREA FAQ on Aromanticism.org, 2021).
Allosexual
“Describes people who are not on the asexual spectrum. They can have any romantic orientation, including aromantic” (TAAAP.org, 2021).
Alloromantic
“Described people who are not on the aromantic spectrum. They have any sexual orientation, including asexual” (TAAAP.org, 2001).
Historically speaking , QPR has been described as an “ancient practice made new again”.
Boston Marriages – A Boston marriage was one in which two independent women chose to build a life and a household together, rather than marrying.
Romantic Friendships – Close but often times non-sexual relationship. Used primarily in historical contexts (e.g. Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens; Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed).
Zucchini
Term of endearment used to describe a queerplatonic partner.
Also, “squish” has been used to describe a non-romantic crush.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys get together to discuss the actions by porn sites such as XTube and Pornhub and their sudden removal of many users’ content without any warning. From what this means for your free porn material to another potential mass exodus, listen in as the cubs break down the situation and share their thoughts on what happened.
Show Topic
Suddenly thousands, if not millions, of horrified moans came across the interwebs as two popular online porn sites removed most of their content and user accounts.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On episode for the month of February. The cubs take some time to share what happened with them during the month of love! From new jobs and bear runs to TV frustrations and Broadway, take a moment to get a glimpse of the guys’ lives so far this year. Also, daddies in underwear, Russian dolls, and a definition of THICC await.
What’s Going On?
Jeff: The shortness of today’s seasons
Damon: NABW2019 & Hamilton
Gary: Busy Up and Down Month
Feedback
Facebook Likes:
Alex Chub
Instagram Followers:
jamminbear
Online Chat:
From czechcub on W | Bear: Hello Garry, I’m a big fan of COL, always looking forward for the next episode. G: Thanks for the support! Feel free to let us know if there’s any feedback or topics of interest. C: You’re welcome. If something comes to mind, I sure will.
YouTube Subscribers:
Matteo Riccardi
Tumblr Followers:
gordosur
creativestupid
Blog Comment:
Name: George Message: Hey CoL, I just discovered your podcast and was listening to the virgin episode. While I noticed the gang talked a lot about emotional comfort and safety. I wished you all had spent a little time talking physical safety at bear events. While most folks are there for a good time, not everyone has good intentions.
Voicemail
Two messages from Patron Michael regarding COL498: BEAR: Being a Virgin
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys take some time to review some of our listeners’ feedback. After a couple of months of bear runs, crossovers, and interviews, the cubs share the shit ton of responses they have received from you. There’s also a sexy voicemail message!
Chester: I’m in Columbus, looking for an apartment/job
Gary: Still recovering from DF13 and BBM6 [David Duelwood]
Weekly Topic
Lots of Feedback Update [items re: our racism shows will be discussed when we return to the topic in an upcoming episode]
Feedback:
Facebook Follows:
Bradley Chester
Facebook Likes:
Max Castillo
Tom Burske
David Duelwood
Julio Salgado
Gilbert Vasquez
Cody Globig
Richard William Kopf
Dick Salami
Cory Richard
Joshua Driscoll
Timothy G Wong
Anthony Monster Parker
Wayne Hogue Jr
Donald Lee Jr
Larry Perkins
DeDe Kupps
Facebook Comment:
Re: COL411: LTAS: Bathhouse Experiences
(Pronounced Tay) Teigh Ferguson: Chester is moving to Columbus?!? Oh My! And what is this bear pot luck Damon Babbage speaks of? Sound like fun.
It’s been in the works for about 4 months. – Chester
Michael Quinichett: I look forward to listening to this one.
Re: COL408 – WYR5: Hardest Sex Ever
Ches aka Foxbear: Hey guys. Catching ip on all the shows since January this week, felt I needed to respond to COL408. Nah, those were pretty easy!
PS I should totally come on the show again sometime, it’s been awhile.
Listening to all these podcasts in rapid succession has really made me miss you guys!
YouTube Subscribers:
CruzeTheBear
Max Wei
Nick Strain
Cody Globig
Voicemail:
WE GOT A MESSAGE!
Email:
erick ‘Σ’ Lundgren aka SigmaWolf76: Really love the cast guys!!! live in a BFE area… y’all help give me some sanity!!! (i said ‘some’) have heard y’all talk about clickin’ an Amazon link on the COL page, and y’all get a kickback. Can’t find the link… let me know, ’bout to do some ‘power shoppin”!
BearUnderground:
RevBear & Troubadork joined the COL Entourage
OtterDave: Hi, I just wanted to let you know I really enjoy your podcasts. I’m realitively new to BU and the bear community, and the episode you did on bifobia really touched me. The issues you discuss are exactly what I have dealt with identifying as a bi otter. Those assumptions about bisexuality are why I have struggled with and chose not to come out. I appreciate your willingness to discuss the topic and how understanding you all are. Thanks for making all these great podcasts and not being afraid to talk about taboo topics. Congrats on the 400th episode. Woof, Dave
Tibbers: Grrr!
Twitter:
From March 19th, possibly re: COL407 ATNS: Racism and Sex or COL408 WYR5: Hardest Sex Ever? – GBearTrekker65: Gary is looking really cute with the headshave and beard trim! #WatchingLive
From March 27th: @dftbapaul: how soon after rpdr airs do you guys do the coldr episode? I need your review lol
@cubsoutloud: COLDR is on a temporary delay for a couple of weeks due to Drenched Fur and a CMC Concert.
@dftbapaul: that’s it. This is how I die.
From April 3rd @GBearTrekker65 re: COL409: Drummerboy North America 2017 David Duelwood interview: Enjoying the hot manly woofness of @cubsoutloud podcast episode 409! #BenFranklin
Lots of feedback from COL407: All T, No Shade – Racism & Sex:
achub117 said: Great discussion and glad to hear input from everyone. Makes me want to educate myself even more and make changes for the better for everyone
Rotundaplomb said: Thanks for making the effort to have the uncomfortable conversations we need to have. Also, thank you for having bears of colour (in addition to@theatrecub79) to speak to the subject! [It is] Recommended listening for all LGBTQ+.
socalchubbybear98 said: Check this out… it’s real and needs to be discussed!
rotundaplomb said RE COL409: Drummer Boy North America 2017:
Nice bonus clip at the end! And Gary, as a man married to a big woman, the sex may not be frequent, but she’s sexy for the same reason bears are – love ‘em thick! ??
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs roll the dice on the topic of tabletop gaming. Listen in as the guys throw their cards on the table about what games they enjoy, what they like and don’t like about tabletop and card gaming. From the groans when someone mentions Monopoly to the joy and excitement of Exploding Kittens, have some fun gathering around for a great gaming adventure.
Chester Beltowski: I’m listening to episode COL398: Bud Sex and I am laughing my ass off at the “old fluids” bit, man I wish I was on the show for this! BTW Damon, the “wall” you were describing can be considered anthropologically significant.
YouTube Subscribers:
Chels m
PAPAxPALPATlNE
Maxx Dennis
Adam Medina
Email:
From right after Christmas…
Hi, guys. I’m about 2 months behind in listening to your podcast, and I’m having a problem with Chester’s “I’ll Tumbl For You” links. Whenever I try to open one (current example), I get “The URL you requested could not be found.” I tried following Chester’s “The Cub Up There” blog back to the date of the show (slow-scrolling thru 2 months of backlog), but I couldn’t find anything there that looked like what he described on the show.
Is it possible that Chester deletes his Tumblr posts after the “Cubs Out Loud” podcast?
Keep ’em coming, & merry holidays,
Henry
Atlanta, Ga.
From after COL398 ‘Bud Sex’
Hi there cubs!
First of all, Happy New Year and thanks for having Hadrian read those stories a few episodes ago! It definitely made the cold weather somewhat warmer 😀 Second, I just finished listening to the Bud Sex episode you just released. I also briefly read the scientific journal article afterward. Being that you have indirectly summoned the COL scientist (thanks for the title, Jeff), I considered writing about a few things relevant to the discussion.
Defining/measuring sexual orientation: A few of you mentioned the Kinsey scale to define sexual orientation. As revolutionary as this scale was back in the 50s, it does not represent sexual orientation accurately. Consider it more of a legacy instrument than a good one to define and measure sexual orientation. More recent models have proposed at least 3 dimensions to sexual orientation that can explain most of what we observe: identity, behavior, attraction.
Identity refers to how you define yourself, in this case, sexually. If you identify as gay, bi, straight, queer, etc. that is your identity.
Behavior refers to what people do sexually. In other words, who are people having sex with?
Attraction refers to the gender you are attracted to.
Further, imagine that these 3 dimensions can be measured on a scale (for example, 1 to 10) instead of a “yes” or “no.” For example, I identify as gay (10) and do not identify as bi (0), straight (0), or queer (0); I have only had sex with men (10) and I have not had sex with women (0); and I feel very attracted to men (9) and a little attracted to women (3). Now, based on our understanding of sexual orientation with these 3 dimensions we can conceive the existence of men who identify as straight, have sex with men and women at different levels, and feel attracted to both males and females at different levels. That is what sociologists, anthropologists, and the community at large may consider MSM, brojob, or bud-sex dude. Consider also those guys who identify as gay (8-10), who have only had sex with women because of social expectations or other reasons, and may be attracted to men way more than to women. I have met bears who were married, had kids, ended up getting a divorce, and are in a current relationship with another guy. They do not consider themselves as bisexual. The combinations are endless and could also encompass asexual (identity) people who are not interested in sex (behavior), but like people of their own, opposite, or both genders(attraction). I have found in my own research that this model captures way more information than a simple yes/no or Kinsley scale. Also, with this more comprehensive model, there is no need to challenge anyone’s identity because of who they are having sex with. Science is not barely catching up. In psychology we have had this and similar models for a long time (probably 30 years) but since it is more complicated to understand and does not raise much controversy, popular publications outside the field pay little attention.
Sample size: Yes, 19 participants are not much and all of them are self-selected. Both things affect generalizability. Unless you have millions of dollars to conduct a study or you are gathering data for a census, this limitation is common, especially on research using interviews as the method to collect data. This limitation does not prevent the information to be valuable, especially when it elicits new ideas and a few hypotheses just like the ones Hadrian presented.
As usual, if you have any extra questions please let me know.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss QPRs or Queer Platonic Relationships. QPRs are intimate relationships that are neither romantic nor sexual in nature. Listen in as Ed builds up the fundamentals of this different relationship dynamic and its origins and brings it up to date for modern audiences.
